Asking ex for more maintenance

On another note- I also receive no help financially from universal credit- as a student my income doesn’t give any award (not that I expect it) and I was in the old tax credits but that stopped for the uc switchover. I do however receive CB for my youngest.

Yeah to be honest this is the case- cost of living has hit me more than I anticipated and I do find things a struggle.
Long term, as I’ve said in previous posts, my career as a qualified midwife will begin in a year. I have already secured a job post qualification and will be able to stand on my own two feet from September next year- something I planed timing wise meticulously and worked very hard at uni for.

Thank you for this.
Just to clarify, the csm calculator (based on earnings 4 years ago- since which time he has made partner) is saying he should provide 1075pm. He’s currently paying £550. Approx 5% of his salary when he should be 12%. With partnership id imaging this is even less. I’m in no way after more than this. So both morally and legally I don’t think he’s doing enough at the moment.

To be honest the last thing I want is ti be drawn into a lengthy dispute about arrears. I just want him to step up and provide what he should be providing going forward. I’m not an unreasonable person at all. Just far too trusting and a little emotionally weak to query something I should have queried a few years ago.
Im not out to get the guy, I would want nothing more that for him to work a job he likes, see the kids a balanced amount and treat them like a dad should. Sadly the drinking issue and I honestly feel some deep rooted stuff makes this something he isn’t capable of and he pushes people away with his behaviour. I just want a peaceful life- at the end of the day, if he’s was happy, it would be so much easier coparent with him but sadly he still has a revengeful streak when it comes to me and doesn’t want the same thing.
Im actually really looking forward to when my youngest is 18 and leaves school as I will have a clean break financially from him.

I’m not an unreasonable person. What he chooses to do is his choice.
In fact last year he told me he hated his job and wanted to quit. I honestly think if someone is that miserable then they should absolutely do something about it.
Dint get me wrong, I know it would impact me but he has the freedom to do whatever the hell he wants. If he want to retire early that’s his prerogative, as long as he is fair then so be it, again, no different to if we were together still and he wanted to make a big life decision- the kids would go without some things.
The thing is right now that isn’t the case. And in fact, my youngest is going without a lot. I have just spent £60 on new school bits and as a result were eating budget meals all week and I had to have a chat with him yesterday about not putting the heating on until it gets much colder.
I’m sorry but the child of someone in 130k shouldn’t be living like this.

My ongoing plan will be that I will be qualified next year and as a result my income will offer financial security I have never had before through a salary.
I also do plan on downsizing. But I will continue to put my children first and they will always have a home with me until they find their own way in the world. Until then I will make this work and will ensure there is enough space for them to stay here.

I have every right to work towards a career that will continue to financially support me in the future.
I left full time work to commence study as I was very savvy, did my research and made a decision which I still think was right. A decision I have worked extremely hard for three years towards and held off on until my kids were older, as I prioritised them and their needs over my own wants. I have a better income as a student now than I did working, and part of that commitment is the knowledge that I will be paying student finance back in the future.
As a low paid/skilled full time worker 2 years ago, earning 15k, I am now working towards a professional qualification which means I will be able to continue living in my home for years to come. And the money is better.
I can’t imagine there would be many places I could have worked which would have taken me on for more than £24k. I don’t think it can be argued that my choice was a well considered and educated one and definitely the right one for me and my family.

And the calculator based on what his salary to be 4 years ago (what he claimed then) is giving a figure of £1075pm.

Ok so I understand where this figure has come from.
but it’s not as simple as that though.
I'm not a high earner so I simply wouldn’t be fair to cast that same figure into me. As a student my income from student finance, an nhs bursery and 10hrs a week part time that I also have to do along my full time (37.5 hour a week placements) course to support my family is 24k.
If I run that through a calculator, based on the same conditions he has- 1 child, 1 overnighter a week, my contribution is £240 a month.
I can tell you now I support my child/children with a lot more than this.
I do in fact meet this amount and more. So that actually makes it blindingly obvious that it’s even more unfair to me.
Even so- it doesn’t go far. Cost of living rising has hit me hard- hence the need for me to work alongside studying and raising our kids to make ends meet.

A little story from my past- just for perspective of the kind of person he is…
Years ago when my kids were younger, he would go out 3- 4 times a week. Always places to drink/get drunk. I was a stay at home mum to three young kids. He controlled all the money- I had nothing coming in except child benefit. He demanded he did the food shopping as he ‘was better at it’ and gave me no extra money for day to day spending. He had a pay rise which sent him over the threshold and I lost the cb- the only money I had access to freely.
He was then earning 55k and I worked out that disposable income after all outgoings wasn’t a small amount. I was told he wouldn’t put any money in my account for spending, taking the kids out etc as those things were joint decisions and he didn’t need to give me an ‘allowance’ as if I wanted money I could ask him in the mornings and he would give me cash. I had no freedom to make decisions, take my kids out, and I relied heavily on my mum to take us out which she always did and never saw us go without. I know I could have asked but you have no idea how demoralising it is to have to beg for money like this. I was basically a slave in ‘his home’.
There were several times that in desperation I would go through his pockets after he’s come home drunk in the hopes I would find cash just so that I could buy formula milk and nappies that we needed. Yes the kids had clothes they needed (that he’s bought, or I had ‘requested money for’) but I was walking around in ripped jeans and bras that didn’t fit me.
there was also the time we went on holiday and he hit the roof as he ‘had’ to buy me conditioner as I’d forgot ti pack mine and I therefore wasn’t responsible and was wasting him money.
But at the same time he was happy to moan when I didn’t want to drink alcohol (when I was responsible for the kids) and only wanted cheap drinks as it means I was ‘boring’.

I’m not receiving £1100 though.

So a quick update. I’ve put on my big girl pants and applied for cms.
I have also been in contact with my solicitor for some advice going forward- from what I believe based on a statement he made a while back (re a panic he had during covid about what to do if the worst happened) he is on well over 130k.
a simple calculation for the past 4 years shows he’s underpaid by around 10k. That’s not a small amount and tbh is only what I have built up in debt just providing everything I can to make sure my kids have everything they need. I know back payment isn’t always provided, but terms of our separation agreement state the if he breaches the contract I can take him to civil court. He’s breached it for the past 9 years by not providing his p60 for child maintenance to be reassessed. Meanwhile I have done everything right- managed to secure a mortgage in my own name releasing equity for him, despite him reducing my payments in the initial days with relentless intimidation.
I know many people will scoff at this figure and I am well aware that I am lucky to be receiving anything. I honestly think it’s shocking how some fathers work the system and find workarounds to purposefully screw their kids over.
It all around simply isn’t fair I know, and some people won’t understand my motive here for demanding the minimum from him, which I a vast difference to what he’s been paying until now, but my kids still had every right to receive what they deserve, no less than they would have had if we had stayed together.
From an am I worried about poking the bear perspective, not really, he has form for being an aggressor and may well be pissed but it’s time for force him to play fair- he won’t like it but I’m sick of playing a game I don’t want to be in. I also aware that he could try to divert his income- but he is a professional role as a partner in a large firm and is an officer of the court. As someone who has a duty to report money laundering suspicions/tax evasion, and as someone who cannot afford to lose his career for this I would be surprised if he would try to pull this trick. But time will tell. I have no intention of telling him I have applied for cms. But I feel I have a lot in my hand to make him aware that I know he’s been undercutting the kids for years.