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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is he an idiot or should I not be annoyed?

36 replies

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:03

I was watching Jeremy Clarkson farm TV programme with my partner when a lamb who Jeremy had rescued and took home passed away.

It showed the lamb but I didn't see it as I covered my face with my blanket as didn't want to see. (They showed one earlier in the same episode but it was my first time watching it so I didn't know they'd do that and saw the first lambs body.)

My boyfriend tried to wrestle the blanket off me so I'd have to look. I love animals and he knows that would have upset me. He carried on trying to drag the blanket from me. I said he was an idiot and got really annoyed.

We watched the rest of it an I've just come upstairs.

Am I overeacting? We were walking once and he said look a sheep when I looked over the sheep was dead in the field. I was annoyed then and told him never to do it again, he obvs hasn't listened.

OP posts:
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offyoujollywelltrot · 05/09/2024 23:09

He sounds like a fucking tool. Dump him.

EmeraldDreams73 · 05/09/2024 21:04

It's actually got nothing to do with what you were or weren't watching. The issue here is that trying to physically force you to experience anything, when you've clearly told him not to and he has form for this kind of thing anyway, is a massive red flag. He's enjoying watching you be upset and belittling you. Whether it's usual to find that content particularly upsetting is irrelevant! He's a prick.

Been there myself (the relationship became more and more emotionally abusive) - I hate horror films and being chased/scared, and my ex h used to love scaring me (jumping out at me in the dark after watching something I found scary, for example). Also chasing me/the kids with spiders when he knew we hated them. No amount of increasingly upset reaction made any difference. In itself it could be explained away as a joke once, but the fact that he knows it's causing you genuine distress speaks volumes about him.

pikkumyy77 · 05/09/2024 21:03

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:48

Thank you.

I've just said that to him but he's ignored it and carried on playing his video game.

We have a cat who I love very much and few times I've not been able to find her in the garden and ran around the house trying to find her, becoming more and more upset. He's just sat there watching TV. Not helped me.

Like I've said he's an idiot. Mr Nice Guy to everyone else.

Show quote history

He’s not “an idiot” he is an abusive piece of shit. Stop putting up with this. It can only get worse. If your lover can’t bring himself tovtreat you kindly and attentively at the start do you think he ever will? He is telling you by word and deed that he doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t care what you like or love or don’t like—he will physically force you to do what he wants. This man is abusive.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/09/2024 20:58

Dotto · 05/09/2024 20:54

No he's not an idiot - he's uncaring, spiteful, cruel, neglectful and horrible.

Edited

A little from column A, a little from column B.

Dotto · 05/09/2024 20:54

No he's not an idiot - he's uncaring, spiteful, cruel, neglectful and horrible.

theduchessofspork · 05/09/2024 20:51

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:48

Thank you.

I've just said that to him but he's ignored it and carried on playing his video game.

We have a cat who I love very much and few times I've not been able to find her in the garden and ran around the house trying to find her, becoming more and more upset. He's just sat there watching TV. Not helped me.

Like I've said he's an idiot. Mr Nice Guy to everyone else.

Show quote history

Dead lambs apart, it is clear you two aren’t suited, so do yourself a favour and call time on it.

Abitofalark · 05/09/2024 20:51

He's an immature idiot. I would ignore those earnestly enquiring about your eating habits or telling you off for not wanting to look at a dead animal on a farming programme.

Howdyboob · 05/09/2024 20:51

YABU for allowing that clown on your tv. I'd rather look at a blank screen.

BellesAndGraces · 05/09/2024 20:50

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:38

I have done and turned my face away. He's then tried to turn my face back to the TV.

I've just had a go at him. But he's said I need to toughen up.

Idiot.

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You absolutely do need to toughen up and dump his cruel arse.

Original poster
Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:48

SunshineAutumn · 05/09/2024 20:44

This what someone who loves you does!

Your BF is an insensitive wanker!

Why would he want you to be upset??

Ignore the posters who are asking if you're vegetarian or saying you overreacted.

Someone who loves you should want to protect you.

Show quote history

Thank you.

I've just said that to him but he's ignored it and carried on playing his video game.

We have a cat who I love very much and few times I've not been able to find her in the garden and ran around the house trying to find her, becoming more and more upset. He's just sat there watching TV. Not helped me.

Like I've said he's an idiot. Mr Nice Guy to everyone else.

OP posts:
SunshineAutumn · 05/09/2024 20:44

DeCaray · 05/09/2024 20:09

My husband is the opposite, if he spots anything that he knows I would find upsetting, he will distract or shield me from it.

This what someone who loves you does!

Your BF is an insensitive wanker!

Why would he want you to be upset??

Ignore the posters who are asking if you're vegetarian or saying you overreacted.

Someone who loves you should want to protect you.

ArabellaFishwife · 05/09/2024 20:44

I'm trying to imagine why he would do that, and nope, I got nothing.

FWIW, if there's an opportunity, DH will warn me if a programme shows something he thinks might upset me, so that I can decide whether or not to give it a swerve. I literally cannot imagine him forcing me to look at something I didn't want to see. And if he did, he'd be in for a smack in the chops.

Gogogo12345 · 05/09/2024 20:43

Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:38

Sorry he's the idiot not you.

Are u replying to yourself?

79pinkballoons · 05/09/2024 20:42

He's a twat. Get rid of him. My DH changes the channel if he thinks something that would upset me is on (adverts for animal charities etc.)

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/09/2024 20:41

But he's said I need to toughen up.

I agree. Get really tough on shitty boyfriends. Physically forcing you to face something is assault. I wouldn't call the police but I would point that out to him. Arsehole.

And100 · 05/09/2024 20:40

Hmmm some bad vibes from him I think.

You don't want to see hurt/dead animals. He tries to force you. Totally weird. It's a red flag that he isn't impacted by seeing hurt animals and actively wants you to look at them.

I'd get rid. Do you want him doing this to your future kids?

He's a piece of shit.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/09/2024 20:39

StormingNorman · 05/09/2024 20:10

Are you vegan? If you are, he was being unreasonable.

If you consume animal products in your diet, clothing etc then YABU.

Yes I'm sure him pulling the blanket off was a vegetarian protest. FFS that's a stretch.

He's just being a boundary-crossing wanker and yes, he is the unreasonable one.

Original poster
Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:38

Sorry he's the idiot not you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:38

RoseAndRose · 05/09/2024 20:36

Just shut your eyes; there's no need to make a big performance out of it

Not cover with a blanket or your arm, as that just draws attention. Just close your eyelids.

I have done and turned my face away. He's then tried to turn my face back to the TV.

I've just had a go at him. But he's said I need to toughen up.

Idiot.

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 05/09/2024 20:36

Just shut your eyes; there's no need to make a big performance out of it

Not cover with a blanket or your arm, as that just draws attention. Just close your eyelids.

Original poster
Stickytoffeepudding6 · 05/09/2024 20:32

Sorry. To clarify this is the first time I've ever seen the show so I didn't know what to expect. He had it on whilst I was cooking tea and then I started watching it with him. The episode I saw first was just him planting things and pond going wrong.

Then I stayed to watch the next episode which had the lambs in. Had I know this I wouldn't have watched it. I wasn't engaging my brain before hand to think a farming show would show dead animals.

I'm not vegan as I eat chicken and turkey. That's it. I don't have anything from cows, sheep and pigs.

I have vegan chocolate and eat veggie food. But as I say I eat chicken and turkey.

I'm really peeved off. I've shut my eyes to things like that before from other shows an he's tried to pull my arms off my eyes.

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 05/09/2024 20:29

thursdaymurderclub · 05/09/2024 20:12

are you seriously that sensative that you couldn't bare to see a lifeless animal? you were watching a 'farming' programme.. a programme about farms and farms animals!

i assume the animal wasn't mutilated, bloody or rotten? it was simply lifeless?

Yes i think you were over reacting! and your bf/ was just messing about with you, probably also amazed at the fact you are watching a farming show and hiding your eyes from a lifeless lamb?

Just curious are you vegetarian?

It's totally irrelevant whether the OP is vegetarian, or sensitive. What kind of man tries to physically force his partner to watch something in order to upset her? A total and utter arsehole, that's what kind. 'Just messing about' Hmm. It's the kind of behaviour you expect from bullies at school, not adult partners.

OP - if he's done it before, it's deliberate, it's not that he 'hadn't listened'. He finds it entertaining to upset you.

MiniCooperLover · 05/09/2024 20:28

He doesn't get to decide what you find upsetting and don't!

nutbrownhare15 · 05/09/2024 20:22

Does he usually treat your emotions as a joke? I'd see this as a red flag

Katemax82 · 05/09/2024 20:15

He sounds like a cunt