To struggle with his scalp psoriasis? (attraction)

This! Psoriasis is so much more than just flakey skin! He needs to see a dermatologist before it gets worse and ends as a cocktail of related autoimmune conditions

I have this too. I keep TGel and also Capasan (at the pharmacy) in my bathroom and use then every so often for itchiness. Doesnt cure the bloody flakes tho, embarrassing 🙈

I have psoriasis, so mild at present I have no treatment (and it's a long time since I had a flare up)

Dandruff shampoos don't work and might be counterproductive.

Coal tar preparations might work - try Alphosyl shampoo, if he hasn't already, or Polytar. The Dermalex range might be worth a whirl too.

But the best course of action is to get him to see a GP for a review and see if there are any prescriptions they think would help. Betnovate is the standard first line (there is a version for scalp, so you don't have to try to rub sticky cream through your hair - but the cream is better for round the ears). And there's Dovonex, which is I think vitamin D based.

Anti-inflammatory diets are meant to help as well, as does sunlight (without burning) though of course that's a bit difficult to achieve through hair and Dead Sea salts (bathing in the Dead Sea itself might be an idea for a holiday?)

But I rather agree with those posters who think this might be the start of you seeing him in a new and less favourable way. He can't help having psoriasis, and it can be hit and miss to find ways to manage it. He's the same man, just a bit scurfier - is it the scurf or is it him that's the issue?

My ex had this. It was the best thing about him but then I definitely belong in the sporners corner!

I've had scalp psoriasis for years (20+) but have managed to clear it. I was using alphosyl shampoo as I found it better than t gel although think it's discontinued now. I also regularly used Betnovate sxalp
Solution. I just had a bad flare up (after being clear for a year) but regularly using coal tar shampoo and the betnovate it's on its way out again. Also get him to improve his diet and gut health and eating kefir and drinking kombucha

I have very severe psoriasis (I am a study at my local r&d lab)
I have a very supportive partner who has lived through the mess, the blood and the rest of it.
But he is happy to do this.
If you are not then don't.
His way of treating it is his way and you cannot force him to do something else that he doesn't want to do.
The treatments for psoriasis are not apply topical cream for 10 mins and your cured. It's a lifelong thing - it will come and go as he goes through life. He could in theory develop it in other parts of his body- do you think you could deal with that?
I'm not gonna berate you for saying you can't deal with it but it is a lifelong condition that may not ever get better. You need to consider this for the next steps.

I’m jealous. Cocoise makes my hair so greasy for days after.

Seconded. I have it and my ears bleed at work some days, it’s horrible.

I’m glad when I developed it DH didn’t leave, I felt horrible and at times suicidal when it came on my face. But if you want to end the relationship, you can for any reason. Just please don’t tell him it’s because you find his psoriasis gross.

Nothing has ever worked for my scalp psoriasis, various prescriptions via gp tried over the years. Your dp has probably already tried everything and like a lot of us has accepted that when he flares, the only thing to improve it is time. Thankfully, mine has never been really bad but if it had ‘turned a boyfriend or partners stomach’, they’d have been free to walk away- and honestly, I’d have seen it as no great loss 😂.

Cocois ointment massaged into the scalp is good initially a couple of times a week then drop it down

This works quite well for me too.

I need to restart that regime, as I am currently flaking really badly.
I do it in fits and starts.

I have it and when it flares up it's awful. Medicated lotion on prescription is the only thing that works for me.

My dermatologist prescribed me eumovate and dovobet for flare ups, steroid creams do work but it always comes back.

Well my anecdata is my Grandad was covered in psoriasis, died age 93.

Jesus OP, have a bit of awareness, you’re posting on a thread where people have been sharing their experiences of living with this awful condition and the impact it has on them and - having already said how distasteful you find it - youre now adding it turns your stomach? This thread has really upset me.

Exactly what @brimfulofpacha

You’re really failing to understand your partner’s auto immune condition. Psoriasis is not dandruff, is not eczema and many things people suggest - t gel, coal tar - just don’t shift it for lots of people.

For me the only thing that has provided some short term relief is being prescribed steroid treatments. But these become less effective over time and shouldn’t be used long term. A consultant also put me on immuno suppressants for a while - which come with other issues.

I loathe having such a visible, ugly condition and would be devastated if my partner talked about me like this. If my partner raised it as you have done I’d probably respond the same way as after years of trying various things to no effect. It’s horrible to live with.

If you can’t bear to be around him then of course you should leave, but please don’t tell him this is the reason. Believe me - people with skin conditions already suffer badly with self esteem.

I’ve been plagued with flaky scalp - nobody could come to a consensus on the cause but I was treated for eczema and psoriasis at various times - for more than half my life and I’ve found MooGoo shampoo, conditioner and (to start with) scalp cream brilliant. Cleared up for the first time in at least 35 years and my hair is in good condition too. It’s made using milk products so no good if that’s an allergen for him though.

H&S is the wrong kind of shampoo for psoriasis. He needs actual coal tar shampoo like T Gel, or I found the Dead Sea range very effective. I grew out of scalp psoriasis around 30 and tried many things!

He shouldn't use dandruff shampoo Cocois ointment massaged into the scalp is good initially a couple of times a week then drop it down, my daughter was so bad it went into ear canal and caused infections she was in hospital now we do a treatment once a month.

I have it , but mines under control at the minute . Anything I ever got from doctor never worked. I changed shampoo to alfa parf semi di lino dandruff shampoo , it changed my life I know it won't work for everyone but I've been using it the last few years and it's still working . Head and shoulders won't help

You are taking absolute bollocks! Please give me your sources where you've found the information that my life span could be cut short by 15-20 years? It is simply not true!

Yup. Uncontrolled autoimmune disease/inflammation often results in premature death due to cardiovascular events. Or the hugely increased risk of some forms of cancer, such as myleoma. In fairness, the risk of having other cancers is increased pretty much equally due to the medications themselves, but they don't tend to have dropping dead of cardiomyopathy in the list. There is liver failure, though. Or infection.

My father dropped dead age 55 as a result. It's one of the main reasons why many AI diseases are treated aggressively as soon as they get referred to consultants - it's not the things people see that are the worry, it's the dying nearer 60 than 80 that's the concern.

Even if he doesn't want to see the dr, I'd start with dropping the head and shoulders if it's clearly not working - I'm allergic to it, it makes my psoriasis a million times worse!

Whenever someone posts about psoriasis I am tempted to post what has helped me. But, because it seems that those posters usually have a worse case of it than I do, I feel they might have already tried this.

In case there is anyone who suffers from a mild case of psoriasis, I will recommend fish oil supplements. I used to have over twenty spots on my legs, (I stopped counting when I reached 20, and that was only the first leg). My cousin, a fellow sufferer, recommended fish oil supplements. I have been taking them for over three years now and my spots are few and far between, I don’t know where my ointment is as I never bother to use it.

OP, it might not help your partner, but I just wanted to put it out there for anyone reading the thread.

Agreed.

OP, you're allowed to end a relationship for any reason you choose. He is perfectly entitled not to go through the hassle of medical appointments and treatments if he isn't bothered too much by his psoriasis himself, but you are also allowed to leave him if this is a deal-breaker.

As someone who has suffered from psoriasis (although not on my scalp) in the past, I would just add that for a lot of people it's not as simple as 'just doing something about it' or 'getting it treated' - psoriasis can be really hard to treat and manage and some people get zero results even from prescription treatments, let alone anything you can buy over the counter. The number of people who confidently told me to 'Try Aveeno', 'Try Cerave', 'Try coal tar soap',. 'Ask the doctor for Betnovate' etc when I had psoriasis was really infuriating - because I'd invariably already tried and had invariably seen no improvement whatsoever. (FWIW, my own body psoriasis eventually disappeared largely of its own accord... but that was after two years of failed treatments.)

So if he's tried available treatments and got nowhere, he has probably reached the point of just having to live with it and isn't keen to repeat a process that has previously no effect whatsoever. Sometimes, the best someone can hope for is to make peace with it, and being reminded it's unsightly isn't helpful and can just be embarrassing or confidence-knocking.

None of this means that you would be unreasonable to end the relationship if you simply cannot find him attractive, though - you can't force yourself not to be bothered by it. It's not his fault ... but it's also not yours.

As PPs have said, it sounds like you've got the ick, and I'm wondering if, if it wasn't the scalp issue, it would be something else that bothered you.

My husband has it and yeah you occasionally have to dust it off their shirt if it’s noticeable. I know it’s not nice for him so I try not to make a big deal. What has helped him is the steroid cream they prescribe for it when it gets bad. But also, funnily enough freshly bended celery juice every morning before you eat or drink anything works wonders. I know it sounds a bit crazy but the ‘medical medium’ on instagram suggested it as one of the many things that helps with autoimmune diseases and it actually works. If he’s vigilant and does it every day, it’s practically gone. Worth a try!