School not letting my child from the school

The school is being ridiculous. My children used to take the bus home alone at that age.

It is good for children to have manageable amounts of responsibility and independence and that walk certainly sounds safe and easy.

unless we challenge these ridiculous blanket rules, nothing will change and this generation will grow up anxious and scared of their own shadows. You can’t avoid all risks, just risk assess to minimise them and it’s clear to me that allowing this child to walk home is perfectly reasonable.

This. If we can't allow a 9 year old to walk home 300m, among hordes of parents & children also heading home, we seriously have a major problem handling risks in a measured way.

Children growing up thinking everything is a huge risk and that no level of risk can be managed and tolerated is why we have children suffering badly with anxiety.

Most schools around here including the one I currently work at allow children to go home alone from the start of year 5 with parental permission. This often includes bus journeys for a lot of our students.

At my school this is written into our safeguarding policy.

One local school actually allows it in the last term of year 4.

The school COULD involve social services if they can show that the child is in danger but I doubt it would reach the threshold for them to become even slightly interested.

Cardi learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/schools/dropping-off-and-picking-up-before-and-after-school

Hopefully this will reassure you we aren't making it up 😂

What are they going to do if she just walks out of the school gate when all the other children are leaving? She’ll be home by the time anyone notices.

Well how do we know the parents saying that the school can keep her and charge for ASC are telling the truth?

You don't.

But I can assure you that what we are typing is fact - in fact if you look we are both saying almost identical things at the same time - because you have to be able to memorise and quote these things to be able to correctly act.

How do I know that’s true?
I'm not saying it’s not. I’m a teacher (secondary) and my parents were primary teachers. What I’m saying is ‘because I’m an expert’ online means nothing.

The cut off is safeguarding.

A 4yo wouldn't have road sense, unlikely be able to say where they lived etc.

A 10yo who lives 300m away isn't the same risk.

And legal powers to detain aren't that simple. We can hold but only if you are reporting to SS and or police. They make the decision then. Schools don't.

So if the school are detaining this child they must then call the authorities and report them as not collected.

It’s just the school’s policy 🤷‍♀️ different schools have different policies about who can/can’t walk home, just like they have policies about numerous other things. Parents can’t overrule other policies can they, uniform, times of the school day etc etc?

It's time for the stand off. Warn your daughter you won't be collecting her one evening. See what the school do.

Call them 15 minutes after the end of school. Say you're worried as your daughter isn't yet home. Ask if she left on time. When they tell you she's in ASC waiting to be collected, remind them you've given written permission for her to walk home. And you expect her home in the next 15 minutes. Record the call. Rinse and repeat.

The police and children's services will laugh the school off. Particularly as you can evidence your concern about your child not coming home.

Do not give in. Do not go to the school and collect.

The ASC leader will probably end up walking them home.

Rinse and repeat daily until they get the hint to just let her leave at the end of the school day.

I say this as a senior primary school leader with 20+ years experience. It's a ridiculous (non) policy.

I still wouldn’t have the power to detain. I would need to call police and social services to intervene. I couldn’t just hold the child in school.

The school here aren’t reporting the OP to police and social care. They are illegally detaining the child.

Quite. So when you wrote you “have no legal power to detain students” you didn’t mean all of them. Where is the cut off? Does it matter if there’s no adult at home, for eg (as OP has still not confirmed this - in fact, I trying to she’s made me completely convinced there isn’t since she said she had mentioned meetings he can’t get out of when in fact she initially said he finished work at about end of school time)?

The bottom line is that the school is saying that your year 5 child must have an adult with parental authority to collect her until April, when the evenings are lighter. Most people would expect year 7 children to be able to travel independently, barring additional need.

You have made it clear to them that you disapprove of their stance: they have made it clear that they disapprove of yours. Since your child has two more years at school and it’s seven months until April, is it worth creating conflict for your family to prove the point that you regard their stance to be ridiculous.

Several options:
Make arrangements for DH to take five minutes out of his working day.
Ask another parent to meet her at the school gate and watch her home
Send her to ASC
Research other schools that have different arrangements and see if they have a place in year 5.
Write to the head, the chair of governors, the local councillor and your MP.

I think the latter might cause more long term problems.

Could you not ask another parent to collect your child - and drop them on the way - if you are so close many must walk past your house...

Contact the Child Law Advice Line, this could constitute unlawful detention.

I presume this all really started after Dunblane and Hungerford. Schools until then were generally open, and kids to run away walk off site without adults. They look like mini prisons these days.

Again, not everywhere. We are in suburban Glasgow. The only way into the school building is to be buzzed in through the front door, but anyone can get into the playground. There is a 3 foot fence and that's it. It definitely doesn't look like a prison.

@DelilahRay

Good. If you want to be a sheep and refuse to think for yourself that's your problem, don't expect everyone else to be such a good girl and comply.

I presume this all really started after Dunblane and Hungerford. Schools until then were generally open, and kids to run away walk off site without adults. They look like mini prisons these days.

30 years ago, I knew a woman who sent her 4 yr old , yes, 4 yr old, on his own and refused to pick up saying he should walk.
School insisted he was dropped off and collected, and she ended up meeting him and then let him run off to the park while she went home. He went to school on his own still, though. School reported to SS who were not interested.

This isn't the case at all.

It is reasonable to make a case by case judgement with the support of the school based on actual risk. The school know where the kids live. They know their maturity levels. They can say no for welfare issues if there is an existing concern.

The point is not every child reaches the same point of maturity at the same time. The school can do this sensibly with this in mind.

Because there is no set age, then its down to discussion with the school. Which seems much more sensible.

Its reasonable for school to say no to one child who lives across the big road but yes to the one who lives on the same street. There isn't unfairness in this. There is sensible risk assessing.

Dies she? How do we know? Anyone can say anything online (and I haven’t looked whether she says it’s ok or not - irrelevant as believing qualifications on an internet platform is bonkers).

Cardi because I work in this same area and know what she's saying is true!

Cardi a school can use safeguarding as a reason not to allow a child of 4 to leave alone.
Children above the age of 8yo are deemed to have road sense and developed a sense of judgement of car speed etc.
the schools opinion is she shouldn't be walking home alone - but there isn't a safeguarding reason why it's not safe. (That's been highlighted or agreed by SS)

There is no justification within the remit a school has to refuse an NT child of 10yo to walk 300m along a pavement unaccompanied when it's stated a parent is at home.

If they feel the child is going home alone and is at risk they can do a MASH referral.

But again it's unlikely to yield any concerns because lots of people leave 10yo home alone for 30 minutes or do while they run an errand.

It's not about whether we think the parent is or isn't making a sensible decision. Safeguarding and neglect claims cannot be made on personal boundaries.

The same way as an unclean house doesn't signify neglect of that's the parents standards. But a child not having clean underwear would be neglect if they weren't provided with any daily.

I assume they are refusing because their policy (or non policy as you say they dont have one is because if they change their rules for one they have to then consider changing for other requests.

So you only live 300m from school - which I do agree makes every sense for your child to be allowed to walk home from school. But the next parent that asks may live 400m from school, the next 500m, then 600m and then little Johnny who lives just around the corner from the child who lives 700m away wants to walk home alone.

The school have to draw the line somewhere so probably a blanket ban is just easier.

Do you have a driveway? Offer another parent a parking space in return for walking her home.

DS was allowed to walk home at the end of last year (yr4).

Our children have been allowed to meet parents at the gate (teacher can't see that far) or in their cars on the next street over since yr3.

This is absoluetely fine for the area. All the other parents know this (and know the kids meeting parents well enough).

They have put out a note before saying that they don't have a particular age that children can leave the school premises, and will judge it on a case by case, but it always needs parental permission. There are a couple of kids in DS's class who probably won't be safe to walk home by the end of yr6 and this policy gives room to make it later for some children.

There is always room for them to report safeguarding concerns around this policy though. Again on a case by case basis.

There is no 'legal age' thing, nor is there a 'safeguarding age'. There is a judgment call. This is the way it should be done. There is no magical point at which it becomes 'safe'.

Kids could be walking to school by themselves - how do the teachers know who is dropping at the gate and who is walking to school by themselves.

We've gone mad as a country over this. Glad DS's school has a policy which isn't brain dead and doesn't allow for thinking about this based on a realistic risk rather than an imagined one.