School not letting my child from the school

I’m not sure it is - it depends on the school.

Yanbu

In fact at dd2’s primary it would have been encouraged in year 5 to have that level of independence.

I thought you said the school have no policy on it?

My eldest was walked home every day from primary school, because he had a younger brother. He's somehow managed to cope now he's in secondary school and walks.

Complying with school policy isn't being a "sheep" for goodness sake. It's simply managing to comply with the policies that you know you were agreeing to when you accepted the school place. Whether through choosing the school or being allocated it.

If you don't like the policy, challenge it through the appropriate process. Challenge it with legal threats if you're happy that the school is being illegal. But there's no need to cause constant difficulties for the school and your child by refusing to pick her up or arrange a suitable alternative in the meantime.

I live in Scotland. I dont think this is a thing here 🫤

After Primary 1 in our school the teachers just walk them to the playground and they all go off home. Most little ones know if their adult isn’t there they should go back to their teacher to wait but there is absolutely nothing to stop them just walking out of the gate.

I’m surprised to read that it is so different in England.

You're quite right, OP.

If your child doesn't mind the afterschool club then you could simply ensure you have a paper trail proving that you did not consent to the school putting her into the afterschool club, that you asked them to release her to walk home, and that you are refusing to pay for the club. Let them take you to court to try to make you pay for a service which you can prove you didn't agree to.

It's more tricky if she wants to be at home rather than the ASC. I like @Takoneko's suggestion of raising the insurance issue to the club, and making sure that the club itself knows you have no intention of paying for a service you refused. Might work.

Sorry didn't mean to add **

Absolute madness.

The OP is entirely reasonable. So many of you are sheep. You are the definition of a nanny state.

OP

1. That insurance aspect of the after school club
2. Challenge the ht on handing your child over to afc without your permission
3. Discuss that nspcc link someone helpfully provided (which refers to age 8 being a reasonable age to walk unaccompanied)
4. Escalate to the board of governors

Best of luck. How incredibly frustrating.**

If the school have concerns about a particular parent's abilities or judgement they should be raising this with the authorities and let them make the decision on what is best for the child outside of school hours and school grounds.

So do English schools 'allow' children to walk to school independently but just not home again? The whole thing is crazy. It's outside school hours and it's a parents decision.

Is there any evidence at all that this level of school over reach in the name of safeguarding has any better outcomes than in all the countries that do let parents make their own decision though?
Or do we instead find that stifling a child's natural growth to independence leading to unhappy anxious teenagers?

If the school is concerned, they should contact social services to take the case over.
It just isn't school's role to override parental decision in this question.

But what if the parents are not making their decision based on the best interests of their child? You seem to think that all parents act sensible and with their child in mind.

Well no as they have no involvement in those things, they do with picking up the child given it’s on their premises.

I can see your point but destroying the relationship with the school for 6 months is in my opinion not worth it. My child would also have been mortified and asked me to drop it. I have had to dial into many meetings on my phone via team app, headphones in and collect kids. It’s just life as a working parent. I’m sure that between you, your DH and other child, that usually one of you is around. If the child can go to Afterschool if not then I’d just do that. It’s still a decent arrangement.

Schools aren't held responsible for things that happen outside school hours and outside schools grounds.

My children's old primary school allow children to make their own way home from year 5 if a form is filled out by the parent.

Seems crazy to me as you live so close.

Is there a parent that can 'collect' your child for you, so they can be released from the school?

I can't believe anyone thinks the OP is unreasonable. Walking independently to and from school is something we transitioned to with my DS's readiness (and ours). I'd have been astounded if his school thought they could override us.
Do people also let schools tell you when you can transition to leaving children unattended at home, or start popping up to the corner store, or play out with friends?

How did u pick her up last year?
I wouldn't want to be the 9 yrs old girl whose parents "forgot yo pick her up again" .

YABU

It's school safeguarding policy, not a legal matter. Just pick her up ffs

OP may not be able to do that and why should she have to if it is perfectly safe for her child to walk home by themselves.

Just go and get her if it’s 300yds and someone is at home . If your wfh and finish at the same time then you need to manage meetings so that they don’t clash. A large proportion of our colleagues have between 3-4 as a late lunch break so we can nip out and do the school run. It would take you no more than 10 mins.

So it's not safe for my pre-pubescent summer-born 11yo child to walk out of his secondary school alone.
And it's not safe for little female me to walk down the road to get him either.
And I can't pick him up directly outside the school because it gridlocks with traffic for 15 mins at school end.

Does DH need to give up his job or should I just send DS to boarding school to keep us all safe? What a pickle to be in! 🙀

DS did safely walk 300m home from y5, let himself in and I returned with older sibling within about 5 mins. I told school, pointed out where we live and how little time he was alone and all was hunkydory because the school was sensible enough to realise that this was sensible and a normal part of developing independence.

The school OP is dealing with is acting beyond their jurisdiction. If they think that OP is negligent then they need to go through the appropriate safeguarding protocols. But they won't because it's not a safeguarding concern, and agencies like social services will laugh such timewasting off.

I don't know whether they would let certain children out without a parent being there if the parent asked for that though. I doubt any one did. Regardless, if the policy was based on any legality or rule set outside the school it would be the same age limit everywhere.

So, DC has just started year 5, which means presumably, given you’re in Kent, school has been in session for approx ONE WEEK. During this time, you’ve had several conversations with the head, called the police, and submitted a complaint to the trust. Because prior to this DC was in ASC.

You haven’t really given anyone a fair chance to respond in an appropriate and considered manner, the whole tone of your post is extremely combative and not child-focussed, and you’ve given no consideration to any of the other pressures the school may have to consider during the first week of term. Not to mention the fact they’ve already said it’ll be fine from April.

Have you even thought about the impact on your DC - whether they’re ready to walk home alone or not, you insisting on school shoving them into ASC because you’ve got a bee in your bonnet about questioning policy is going to make them feel unloved and unwanted.

Pull your head in, give the school / trust time to respond appropriately, and suck it up til you can come to a resolution.