Husband won’t use the bloody phone

Good for you.

It's just a phone. Stop being ridiculous.

...and before we had phones, it was telegrams, and before that carrier pigeon. So what? The technology has moved on, and I think that online is a better way to do it, not least because you have a written record of the exchange.

Another phone dodger here

I cant mind the last time I made a call other then to the GP or dentist ( we dont have online bookings here ) , I certainly dont make social calls. Might ring DH to ask him to get something out the freezer. Absolutely hate ringing strangers and all my incoming calls show me whos calling before I answer - if indeed I do

Yes my phone anxiety has increased over the years, the less I need to use one the harder to actually do so it becomes

As a PP , not being able to understand the person on the other end is a huge factor. I have perfect hearing but apparently I have auditory dyslexia - APD - only just diagnosed aged 60

Might sound a silly question but is he concerned about his hearing?

Before the internet you wouldn't generally heard of people with 'phone anxiety' because there wasn't the same ability to share information, so you didn't hear people talking about it. Additionally, if you as scathing in real life about things people struggle with, I'd guess no-one tells you.

Prior to the internet, I found making phone calls really stressful but had to suck it up and feel stressed. Now I have alternatives which I am much more comfortable with.

I hate the phone as well. I really have to psych myself up for it, and will always look to see if there's an online option first.

I do accept though, that sometimes a phone call is just the most simple option. I can't really work out what it is that I hate about the phone though...

My mum is the total opposite though. She'll pick up the phone as the first port of call.

Agree. I genuinely do not know anyone with’phone anxiety’…never heard of it apart from on MN ! Maybe if children were encouraged to converse ,rather than text etc, it would avoid this anxiety !

I'd refuse to the phone stuff for him in future. It's absolutely ridiculous to be terrified of using a phone, it's how we used to have to communicate before we had smartphones and the internet.

He's a grown man, not being able to use a phone is absurd.

Worst thing is being on a call queue and having to listen to spiel about doing things online. Phoning is my absolute last resort, I wouldn't be phoning if I could do what I needed to online.

That's a big if. Either everything is automated, and you have to repeat everything several times because the system doesn't understand you, or they take hours to answer, or both.

Yeah I'm like your husband. Doing admin online is so much easier. It's not really to do with any anxiety (I don't like speaking on the phone but it doesn't scare me), I just find online quicker and more reliable. Half the time admin phone calls end in a mess when you mishear them or they mishear you; or you need some details you'd forgotten, but can't quickly find them because you're on the phone; or you just get passed from pillar to post, all with endless hold music. ("It'll only take 5 minutes" is rarely actually true of an admin phone call.)

If I have any choice in the matter at all, I won't use the phone.

FFS - before the internet the number of people with too much 'anxiety' to use the phone was so vanishingly low it was a non-issue. That's because there was no alternative and it was just an accepted part of daily life. It's still an essential life skill, so maybe people need to work out how to learn it. Teach the kids too maybe.
Hopefully in an emergency these people would cope with dialling 999 and speaking to the emergency services, if not we're screwed.

I get huge anxiety about using the phone. I will do it but I hate it and will avoid it if at all possible.

In my experience when you do get through to companies 99% of the time you're met with a pre recorded message saying to go online. And if you don't you have to go through a million menus before you actually speak to a human!

I hate making phone calls too. If it is to a small business and a simple thing such as booking an appointment at the hairdressers, booking for dinner,...that's fine. But for something more complex and a big company, it is definitely not 5 minutes! You will undoubtely get transferred to different departments, have to explain several times the same thing and too often you get cut off. Apart from that, you won't have proof of anything they tell you, which can be problematic if they give you the wrong information, and that happens sometimes. I also have bad memory so prefer everything in writing. I am sure the car insurance company have a customer support email and you can ask any questions by email/chat

I'm the opposite - I'd rather call someone than mess about online - I find FAQ's and chatbots rarely have the answer to my questions but a lot of companies make it really difficult to phone them without trying online first. I also find 'Why not go to our website' messages at the beginning of calls irritating - if I could find an answer online, I wouldn't be phoning!

I'm absolutely with him. I do not suffer from anxiety at all, but I just find the written word so much clearer, easier and more elegant. A polite, well-written email or letter is way more effective than a garbled phone conversation.

I’m exactly the same as him !

I’d pay more for most things just to avoid phoning.
for some people it’s a real mental block having to speak on the phone

It took me a long time to understand why I hate phone calls, which I'd had problems with for decades, basically ever since teenage years. I also struggled with social events. I've always been fine with "in person" things, i.e. going to a desk or counter to speak to people, and also on a 1-2-1 basis in a social setting.

I finally twigged the problem was with my hearing! It's not faintness of sound, it's the clarity of sound. When you add in background noise (i.e. a noisy party) or a bad phone line, or maybe a strong accent or muffling speech, and I find it impossible to understand, meaning constantly asking them to repeat what they've said, or just giving up. I realised it was mostly embarrassment about being unable to hear and understand what people were saying. I was much better when I was looking at a person so could augment what I could hear with their lip movements which really helped.

I went straight to one of the modern hearing aids with blue tooth and now use my mobile for all calls, so that it comes straight into my hearing aids, which makes it louder and clearer (and removes background noise at my end). Still doesn't solve the problem of strong accents, poor line quality and background noise at the other end, but it helps. And more importantly, I'm no longer embarrassed about my hearing issue as I now can blame the noise at their end or the noisy line!

Perhaps the OP's OH should have his hearing tested as it may be similar if he's fine in other aspects of communication, but just doesn't like phone calls.

I hate making phone calls (business or personal), but usually I'm ok receiving them (altho sometimes I don't know how/when to end them if it's a personal call). So I will avoid making calls as much as possible. As a matter of fact yesterday I had an appointment that I made online weeks ago that I needed to reschedule. Instead of calling, I spent over 30 mins yesterday trying to reschedule it online. I couldn't figure out how to do it so I gave up. Today I pushed back my apprehension and forced myself to call and cancel - took about 10 mins total. I don't know why I'm like this, but I've been this way for many years.

Yes, all of this.
I think it's a subset of social anxiety, not starting a conversation/worrying about making a fool of myself.
Basically if you're not directly related to me I am never going to call you unless it's an emergency or there's no other option (and even sometimes then, sorry Mum!)

Wow 😮
😁
WHY feel anxious about using a phone?

I was like this when younger, but found the more I pushed myself to do it, the better it got. Was always fine with face to face. I think it’s because most of communication (I think I read something like 90%?) comes from body language, if you have someone standing in front of you, you can communicate or read someone by small gestures, looks, body position etc, with a phonecall you don’t have any of that, you just have a voice so intentions can easily be misinterpreted.

Agree, it can be a huge faff (30+ mins on hold, terrible hold music, getting 'accidentally' cut off right after connecting) when ringing any big company... it also means having no written confirmation of whatever they agree - I've had Vodafone directly state they've definitely cancelled a contract 3 times and keep on billing:(