I don’t know what’s happened to me. I feel like I am just existing.
I have a loving family, great DH, decent well paid job, no financial or health concerns and I am so so deeply unhappy. I feel so selfish feeling this way as I literally have nothing to be unhappy about.
I used to be fun. I used to love to laugh. Constantly arranging fun activities for everyone who wanted to come along. I was always the one who hosted the parties. I lived for trips away and socialising. I look at pictures of the ‘old me’ and I look so happy and full of life. I want to be that person again.
Nothing gives me joy. I am about to go away on a lovely holiday. I got my suitcase out of the loft and sobbed because I felt nothing. No excitement, no joy……….nothing. It felt like a chore. The old me would have loved every second of packing, outfit planning, looking forward to activities that we’d do whilst there.
I feel empty. I just float along, faking smiles. Nothing and I mean nothing makes me feel……happy, excited fun.
Am I alone here? Is it my age? (42 and no peri symptoms yet) Is this a phase? I really want to just shake my head and snap out of this rut!