Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How not to let the school mums get to me

57 replies

IHateSchoolRuns · 05/09/2024 11:10

my child started a new school 2 years ago later than everyone else so everyone already knew each other. I always got a weird feeling from them but put it down to being paranoid. I won’t give all the details here but over time people have hinted and one told me outright people thing my child is weird and they talk about her. She’s a summer born so maybe is a little immature compared to the rest so I have it no notice but I’m finding the parents attitude quite bitchy. It seems like they have nothing better to do than talk about an 8 year old kid! We never had these issues in other settings just seems to be this school where they are quite judging. I don’t know how to handle. Spoken to
school who said she does come across “young” in many ways but will catch up at one point. Academically very bright. I just feel this school the kids are quite grown up whereas we still meet old friends from old school and they are very much like her - all giggly and laughing all the time. She gets looks from the new school when she does skipping into school for example! I feel really sad, I feel like talking to the mums but then worry they will think I’m “weird” too. I just hate the atmosphere.

OP posts:
48Hourss · 05/09/2024 11:27

Skip into school with her, fuck the judgey ones.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/09/2024 11:25

These school mums aren't anything to you. Drop your child off and don't give them another thought.

Snowpaw · 05/09/2024 11:25

I'd just focus on doing all you can to improve / enjoy your life outside of school. Focus on the friendships you already have, do nice things together with your child, find a hobby, fill your life essentially with the good stuff so that you gain perspective on how little the opinion of other school mums really matters.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 05/09/2024 11:25

Worry less (not at all) about what the other mums think, its not relevant to you or your child unless its leading to bullying of her in school.

There is no need for you to be friends with the mums. Perhaps over time you’ll get chatting to one of the nicer ones but don’t prioritise it.

DaisyChain505 · 05/09/2024 11:23

You only see/have to deal with these parents because their children happen to go to the same school as your child. It is a tiny fraction of your day.

They are not your family, they are not friends, they don’t mean anything to you and your life.

You are at school to drop your child off and pick them up. What’s important is that you have a good line of communication with textures so you can do what’s best for you child.

Other parents who you happen to pass by in the playground are insignificant to your life.

Ardrahan · 05/09/2024 11:20

I think you’re mixing up two issues here. Firstly, is your daughter suffering socially because she’s young for her age? My DS, because he started school in a different country was a year younger than most of his classmates where we live now, and it did show, sometimes. We just went with it and kept an eye on friendships. He will grow up in his own time. Can she not still socialise with friends from her own school?

Secondly, your relationships with other school parents. Why is this important? Is this about her social life or yours?

IHateSchoolRuns · 05/09/2024 11:13

It makes me feel really small and like I want to hide away when I see the other mums. I wish they would tell me outright what their issue is. We had a playdate with one over summer and the little boy said “they are all so weird mummy! You were right!”. This was younger brother of my daughters friend.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread