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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do you live where you live?

172 replies

LetsRockityRock · 05/09/2024 07:22

l often wonder how people end up where they live (flat, house, country manor, city centre, rural, next to a motorway, abroad, tourist hot spot, beautiful village, run down town).

I live in a small town outside of a big city. I am from the city, met my DH who is from this small town. House prices were lower here so we got more for our money, and now I prefer small town life to city life. I couldn’t move as have DH family on the doorstep and my family not far away. My town is growing though so I pine for less traffic and more rural views.

OP posts:
LetsRockityRock · 05/09/2024 09:13

Ringpeace · 05/09/2024 08:40

Rural Cumbria.

Had a lot of equity built up in our property in London, where we'd lived for many years. Cashed in while we were still young enough to make the most of it. We wanted a slower pace of life.

Red squirrels in the garden, a view of the lake district fells from the front windows. Total silence (apart from owls) at night. Both work from home in our own offices. Kids at a superb local secondary. World-class walking straight out of the front door (or short bus ride).

Still can't quite believe it.

This sounds so lovely. Do you think families need to be very close, and able to rely on one another for company, to live rurally? More so than living in a city I mean

OP posts:
DrRiverSong · 05/09/2024 09:09

SallyWD · 05/09/2024 08:30

I'm a southerner living in Leeds because DH got an amazing job offer here. I knew nothing about Leeds, imagined it was grim up north.
I absolutely love it and never want to leave!
We live in a lovely suburb in the north, close to parks, the Dales etc.

Ooo. I’m from north Leeds originally. There are some lovely spots up there!

LetsRockityRock · 05/09/2024 09:08

bornleafy · 05/09/2024 07:35

I moved here because I love the place. It was a conscious decision, I planned my life, job, everything around it when I was in my 20's (I found a job in the area so that I could be here).

Made a lot of sacrifices to get here really but I knew it was where I wanted to be.

I met my DH here and now we live together.

It's a much better quality of life than where I grew up, the people I meet are more interesting, and there is more going on.

I struggle to relate to people who just stay in the town they grew up in and don't go and explore places that might suit them better. (Most of my family are like that and live within 5 miles of where they were born).

This is so interesting. Is it London?
I never in a million years expected to live so close to where I grew up. Then children came along and proximity to family became everything!

OP posts:
username59582 · 05/09/2024 09:06

I live here in the same town I grew up. It's where both our parents still live but the biggest reason we stayed is house prices.

It's definitely not a 'nice' place but it does feel like home as I grew up here. It is also near a major city and airport which is also great.

We did view places even 30/45 minutes away and could not justify the increase/feel like it felt worth it. Our mortgage means I could afford to go part time/afford childcare etc. So I see it as worthwhile. I am not sure if we would have ever got on the ladder if we had moved to another area. It definitely would have compromised our lifestyle in a different way.

motheroreily · 05/09/2024 09:04

I was working in London and met my ex husband.
We moved here because it was affordable and 40 mins to London on the train.
We divorced. I stayed here so my child could still see their dad regularly.
It's ok here but won't stay forever.

Chocolateismylovelife · 05/09/2024 08:58

I grew up in London zone 2 in housing association flat- I would have loved do have stayed more central but prices of property pushed me out to zone 6.
Now- I would love to be more rural but am staying for the sake of my children to have more options/opportunities.

dayslikethese1 · 05/09/2024 08:56

I moved to the nearest city to my university town once I graduated to try and find work. Once I'd qualified in my chosen field and gotten experience I moved to a different city for my first "proper job" along with DP (persuaded him it was a good idea) and we like it here. After renting for yrs we finally managed to buy a house with a small garden in a cheaper part of the city and we're also near countryside. We're on a main bus route (don't drive) and have everything we need here.

yeesh · 05/09/2024 08:55

I live in a terraced house in a seaside town next to the city I grew up in. We sold our house in the city and bought here so we would have a very small mortgage. We love being close to the beaches and live next to a country park which was fab when our son was small. My family are about 10 minutes away, his live all over the place.

Autumnorganising · 05/09/2024 08:51

Both DH and I are from oop north. We moved down south for work (Dh) and university (me). Love where we live and I don’t think we will ever move again. The small town we live in has decent facilities and is only a short rail journey to the local city. The countryside and sea are within a 10 minute drive.

Unfortunately, our kids ( and our friend’s kids) have all moved away from the area as there isn’t any affordable housing around here. Expensive retirement villages are popping up all over the place, but there’s nothing for a first time buyer.

doyoulikemyyams · 05/09/2024 08:47

Ah @Ardrahan I used to love that book as a kid!

I teach natural horsemanship and the place I worked ran NH holidays, so I was doing a mix of assisting on clinics and day to day wrangling. Hard work but lots of fun!

ViciousCurrentBun · 05/09/2024 08:47

DH is from very near London and I’m from the rural South coast. We both moved to study, him to Cambridge and me to Birmingham. We met as ended up working at the same University. We relocated much further North for permanent jobs. We ended up living in a ex mining/mill area between the two Universities we got jobs in and have lived here for 26 years. I retired and he is about to take severance and early retirement. We will move one more time in a couple of years. Probably about 30 minutes from where we live. By doing so the housing is a little cheaper and much better we want to move to buy somewhere with an acre or two.

Loads of my family live overseas and my sisters remain where we grew up. I was the ambitious one. It’s very pretty where I grew up but was crap for career development. People have moved there now because they can WFH due to covid. Quite a bit of hatred for Londoners locally buying up property. It was always a place for second homes which was bad enough.

Starlight197 · 05/09/2024 08:45

Large Village/small town in the home counties. Outstanding schools, thriving high street, countryside and forest down the road and can get into London in 40 mins.

Antiopa12 · 05/09/2024 08:42

I live in the same London borough I was born in. Grew up in a tenement, then a council flat before leaving for Uni. Came back for work and bought house close to the Grammar school I attended.

Ardrahan · 05/09/2024 08:40

doyoulikemyyams · 05/09/2024 08:35

I had been on the road, living in lots of different countries for almost 10 years. I came here (not UK) for a 3-week rest after a job on a cattle ranch in the US, got chatting to a woman on the beach and she invited me to a gig that night. I met more lovely people there, and we all got on so well I decided to stick around a little longer.

She's now my best friend in the world and I've been here almost 8 years.

What job did you do on the ranch? I ask because I came across an old copy of My Friend Flicka the other day, and have been immersed in the world of Wyoming ranching…

Ringpeace · 05/09/2024 08:40

Rural Cumbria.

Had a lot of equity built up in our property in London, where we'd lived for many years. Cashed in while we were still young enough to make the most of it. We wanted a slower pace of life.

Red squirrels in the garden, a view of the lake district fells from the front windows. Total silence (apart from owls) at night. Both work from home in our own offices. Kids at a superb local secondary. World-class walking straight out of the front door (or short bus ride).

Still can't quite believe it.

JohnCravensNewsround · 05/09/2024 08:38

East sussex v small town
Picked for
Beautiful place
Community
Pubs/restaurant
Good comp school and primary
Few miles from coast
Train station to the big smoke

Imisscoffee2021 · 05/09/2024 08:36

Where is this? Sounds spot on!

Startingagainandagain · 05/09/2024 08:36

I live in a small, pretty SE seaside town.

I was born in another small seaside town and then lived in London for 25 years.

I wanted to go back to live by the sea for a quieter, healthier life. Lots of countryside nearby as well. Everyone is much friendlier and more relaxed than in London.

Can still get to centre of London by train (1.30 hours).

doyoulikemyyams · 05/09/2024 08:35

I had been on the road, living in lots of different countries for almost 10 years. I came here (not UK) for a 3-week rest after a job on a cattle ranch in the US, got chatting to a woman on the beach and she invited me to a gig that night. I met more lovely people there, and we all got on so well I decided to stick around a little longer.

She's now my best friend in the world and I've been here almost 8 years.

LoobyDoop2 · 05/09/2024 08:35

This city- because I came here for university, liked it, and built a life here. I feel rooted.

This area- because it’s the nicest one, it’s green and attractive, there’s plenty to do, it feels safe, and it’s easy to get around.

This house- because it has a decent sized garden, it’s sheltered from big roads so quiet and safe for our cat, and it’s big enough for us but still within our budget.

MavisPennies · 05/09/2024 08:34

Uni
A different uni
Thought it would be fun to move to London
Husbands job
Wanted to be back in UK & couldn't quite imagine living anywhere other than London
Near the place we were staying when we were looking for a flat after travelling

SallyWD · 05/09/2024 08:30

I'm a southerner living in Leeds because DH got an amazing job offer here. I knew nothing about Leeds, imagined it was grim up north.
I absolutely love it and never want to leave!
We live in a lovely suburb in the north, close to parks, the Dales etc.

Feist · 05/09/2024 08:29

I grew up here. I love my city. I live in a leafy part of the outskirts where there are lots of nice places to walk, the schools are excellent and all the good stuff about city living is within easy reach. Also close to the motorways and an airport.

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 05/09/2024 08:27

Firm I was working for at the time re-located from London to a nearby town.

This was the best place we could afford on our budget.

Liked it so much we never moved away again.

Werehalfwaythere · 05/09/2024 08:23

bornleafy · 05/09/2024 07:35

I moved here because I love the place. It was a conscious decision, I planned my life, job, everything around it when I was in my 20's (I found a job in the area so that I could be here).

Made a lot of sacrifices to get here really but I knew it was where I wanted to be.

I met my DH here and now we live together.

It's a much better quality of life than where I grew up, the people I meet are more interesting, and there is more going on.

I struggle to relate to people who just stay in the town they grew up in and don't go and explore places that might suit them better. (Most of my family are like that and live within 5 miles of where they were born).

We've stayed where our families are - for our families. I'm very close to my mum and would never choose a different town over her. Luckily where we live is nice, safe with good schools.

My family make up a big part of my lifestyle and I'd feel lonely somewhere else, however nicer I thought it was.

When my parents pass away, we may rethink.