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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for expecting my partner to leave our house to me in his will?

158 replies

newmama2023 · 05/09/2024 06:25

My partner and I are buying a house together and we need to write our wills. We've both been married before and have children with our ex spouses.

In the event of his death, my partner wants his share of the house to go to his children immediately, meaning I would have to sell the house. I was thinking that if i died first, he could stay in the house until he passed away.

Am I being unreasonable for being upset?

OP posts:
Sinisterdexter · 05/09/2024 06:31

It’s nice to find a man is actually putting his dc first.
Even if he changes his will to suit you he could write a new one at any time.
If you don’t agree then don’t buy a house with him.

GuestFeatu · 05/09/2024 06:28

YABU for being upset. Discuss it like adults. Why does he want them to have it immediately? Are you much younger than him? Is he worried about it being eaten up in care costs? Could you downsize or buy them out if/when it happens? I can see his concern. If I died young I would want my DH to downsize and give my DS the money I put into our house so he could use it himself as a deposit. I wouldn't want my DS to have to wait until DH dies really. It's a slightly different situation to where a house is owned by both parents jointly, when you've got separate kids you have to consider their future after you go in a different way.

TimeIretired · 05/09/2024 06:28

I’m sure a decent solicitor can draft a will that allows this. I’m married for the second time, joint own our home and our wills stipulate leaving 50% to our respective children. However, they can’t sell until I/he leaves; be it to either to go into care or because we’ve popped our clogs! Think this is fairly standard for wills these days.

I’m editing to add - we live in a small bungalow as it is so not a case of being able to downsize further when one is dies and why should either of us? we’ve done a lot to it over the past few years and it’s our home. Each of us has put about the same amount in monetarily too.

Galoop · 05/09/2024 06:27

No YANBU, although practically speaking what if he died 20 years before you then his children would have to wait for a long time and vice versa. Can you afford to buy his share out or get your own place in the event of his death?

Skate76 · 05/09/2024 06:27

I'm sorry, I wouldn't agree to this, if something happens to my partner I wouldn't want to then find myself a new place to live. It's a deal-breaker for me, you may as well buy your own place now and be done with it 🤷‍♀️

Pomegranatecarnage · 05/09/2024 06:27

You are not being unreasonable-unless you are younger than or near in age to his kids. I’d do the same to him.

CabbagesAndCeilingWax · 05/09/2024 06:27

If you're not happy with this arrangement, do not buy a house with him. Fwiw I would not be happy.

ThomasPatrickKeatingsDegas · 05/09/2024 06:26

Not unreasonable at all. Don’t buy a house with this man unless you’re on the same page.