AIBU for expecting my partner to leave our house to me in his will?

Well I wouldn’t buy a house with somebody who wanted me to be homeless when he died, so that would be a no from me.

Yanbu. My mum met my stepdad when I was about 11 and when he moved in she ways paid for mortgage so it would be her childrens one day, since she had paid the majority of mortgage herself before meeting him. He is however to live in the house until death, that's quote a normal thing and doubly so if you're actually paying for half the house too! You should live there as long as you live/want to.

Has her £50000 been ring fenced for her and her children in the event of death/relationship break down? I certainly wouldn’t be buying with someone I wasn’t on the same page with. And as she is paying the whole deposit, I would be buying alone and saying he could live with me and pay half the bills.

Why when she dies does he get the house? If she has no children she can still leave it to siblings, or friends.

She is better off buying her own house, there is no benefit for her doing it with him, but lots of benefit him doing it with her.

I’d be more concerned about the detail of her putting in £50K and him nothing. This “share” he wants to leave to his kids, what share is that?

That said - I agree with him. When I die, my children are simply more important than my - not their father - husband. Everything goes to them. A little simpler for me as the house is mine. My will states that I’d like him to have 6 months grace before he has to vacate. He’s aware of this.

Trickier for you (or your “friend”?) as he will own something. But even so, I agree in principle with children inheriting quickly. If you die at 30, your kids could be waiting 60 years to even get a penny, never be able to use that money to support education, buy a house themselves… that’s crazy!

Easiest all round is to agree a joint insurance policy and agree that either goes to kids in lieu of the house share.

He’s not being unreasonable not wanting to tie up his kids’ inheritance and opportunities for potentially decades!

@buffyajp
But the OP hasn't specified how old the kids are, and judging by her username, they may be quite young.

I don't think you should buy this house together. You're not on the same page. This is not a minor difference of opinion. It's a deal-breaker. You'd be homeless unless he agrees you could live in house as long as you want to. His kids do not have to get their inheritance immediately. In your position I'd keep renting with this person and saving until you can afford your own house. Most men wouldn't want their partner thrown out on her ear. It means if he dies instead of being able to grieve in peace you'd find yourself homeless too. He's telling you that's how much he cares about you, listen.

Not when they are grown adults who should be bloody capable of funding their own life. Personally think the expectation of inheritance is selfish and entitled as is trying to avoid possible care home fees by finding loopholes. Inheritance is a gift not an automatic right.

I am in this situation with my partner. We originally planned that the remaining partner should have a right to remain for the rest of their lives. However, we both feel that we would want our own children to inherit sooner. We now plan to say sale within 3-5 years - still discussing actual number. We are in our early 60s.

Your friend’s partner is being sensible. Your friend should be too. A good solicitor will arrange it so even after one of you dies the surviving partner will be able to live in the property if they so wish until their deaths - at which point the executors of the will can ensure it’s passed on appropriately.

She needs legal advice and she needs to make sure to protect HER children’s interests too.

Where will you live ?
Will there be enough money to buy a flat or home?
Normally the money goes to the children after your death and you are allowed to stay in the house until you die but care costs could be tricky

There must be a precedent for this like a trust situation so that the children's half is earmarked whatever happens

Key details missing here, how old are you and your partner? How old are the kids?

I can definitely see his point of wanting to make sure his half goes to his kids, especially if they are younger.

I would be looking at getting seperate life insurance policies for you both to benefit the other partner. Then you could potentially buy the other half of the house, while the kids still inherit?

Are you each putting in 50-50 when buying it & paying mortgage?

oops...
So to protect both of you, especially if there is no intention to marry, you must both seek legal advice before entering into a mortgage agreement and also to protect your half of the property.
You can revise or make a new will which undoes all that has been agreed in principle now between the pair of you, so you must avoid those pitfalls.

Personally I would want to do the same as your DP, but with a grace period. But I don’t have a DP so maybe am not seeing how it could be.

But yeah given that you were single less than a year ago, having recently had a baby, presumably not his, just don’t buy anything with him this soon.

He's protecting his assets for his children? This is normal. Otherwise if he left it to you your kids would get it all.

Lots of examples here about the perils, pitfalls and potential aftermaths.
My word of caution is to remember that a rewill can be written at any time, so to protect both of you

I wouldn’t buy anything with him. Tell him you will buy your own investment property and rent it out and he can crack on and buy the house that he intends to leave to his by then fully capable adult children, making you homeless so that they can have a windfall. Chances are he can’t because he needs your salary and deposit to do this, oh well.

I agree. Don't buy a house with him. You will be homeless if he is insisting on an immediate sale.