About boyfriend visiting a quaker house?

@PeppyAquaPoet oh so there is a huuuge back story? I did say to @Celia24 that the religion issue is a red herring and that she needs to figure out why is is so angry and whether she wants to be with him.
@Celia24 if you are the poster @PeppyAquaPoet is referring to, please break up with him, heal then start afresh. You deserve so much better. Rather than being concerned with your future kids having a faith (religion) you should focus on what type of relationships you will model for them. I suggest loving, respectful, supportive

And more than a germ of being trite bollocks tbh.

There are plenty of people who believe in god who also believe in various sorts of nonsense, unscientific positions (anti vax, climate change deniers etc...not notably absent from the Bible Belt).

That is the problem with the written word, it doesn't always have an obvious tone so we interpret it with a lot of our own bias, a lot like religion! Thank you for your concern but I am perfectly relaxed thank you.

Personally I don't want my children to believe in things without evidence because it makes them vulnerable to believing other things without evidence.

There is a famous quote, which sometimes seems to have a germ of truth.

When people choose not to believe in God, they do not thereafter believe in nothing. They then become capable of believing in anything.

You sound very angry, irritated and agitated. Please take a step back and relax a little.

What if you chose the wrong religion? Every day you're making god angrier. What if it was a test and by ignoring all evidence pointing towards there being no god, you failed? Personally I don't want my children to believe in things without evidence because it makes them vulnerable to believing other things without evidence.

Quite so. 'Pascals wager' really doesn't work!

What if you chose the wrong religion? Every day you're making god angrier. What if it was a test and by ignoring all evidence pointing towards there being no god, you failed? Personally I don't want my children to believe in things without evidence because it makes them vulnerable to believing other things without evidence.

Oh and if I'm right, I won't find there's no heaven and hell, I'll be dead! But if there is I will have no regrets. I have never seen a reason to believe in any god and find most of them to be insecure, immoral thugs and I have no interest in bowing to them. If it truly is a loving being it will judge me on my thoughts and actions, not my ability to suspend critical thinking.

Quakers aren't like other branches of Christianity. I mean they're not all identical to each other of course, but broadly they tend to be v chill, kind to a fault, socially conscious. They welcome people of other faiths and no faith at all into meeting houses. They're completely non hierarchical and the only proselytising you're likely to hear will be about environmental and social causes.

No - the question was how would someone live life differently if they were aware there was or wasn't a God. Simple response was for 99.9% of folks there would be no difference, but if I was in the other category (0.1%) I would live my life differently. I am not confused about anything.

I don't want to get drawn into a debate... but i just googled what God won't forgive, and it says shedding innocent blood, and another is murderers don't have eternal life within them. So obviously this doesn't apply to 99.9% of the population but if a murderer/terrorist believed in God and that there was an eternity after we go then he would live his life differently surely?

You sound confused. This is why you need a man someone to explain it to you so you too know who you can happily slaughter without affecting your eternal salvation.

Spiritual does not equal religion.

I don't want to get drawn into a debate... but i just googled what God won't forgive, and it says shedding innocent blood, and another is murderers don't have eternal life within them. So obviously this doesn't apply to 99.9% of the population but if a murderer/terrorist believed in God and that there was an eternity after we go then he would live his life differently surely?

for the general population going about their daily lives and watching out for each other as is normal there would be most likely no difference?

Both my parents were raised without a faith. Both became born again Christians as young adults. Just because you don't have a faith, doesn't mean any potential future children won't.

It’s not relevant at all. Most self proclaimed ‘good people’ are far from it. Sorry to say.

I didn't realise that OP was talking about Friends house! That is a building open to all, my nhs trust recently used it as a venue for a training event, with attendees from across many religions, who had no issues with being there. It's a beautiful building, with a lovely peaceful courtyard away from the crowds and noise of the area, with no overt religious symbolism.

Maybe visit it yourself before you make assumptions on the type of building it is, and the meaning of visiting it.

So he’s not fully aligned with you as an atheist; he’s not lied and he is open with you.
I don’t believe in God or any specific religion, I believe in free thinking which gives people the space to explore and grow - this improves lives rather than your ‘with me or against me’ viewpoint.
You can choose to end a relationship for any reason but he’s certainly not duped you; visiting a Quaker meeting house would be an odd deal breaker for me.
In the UK you can bring children up as non believers but they’ll be exposed to religion and different beliefs at school; they too will develop their own minds and I can’t imagine you’d cut them off for doing so?

And what I’m asking is whether, if you knew for sure that when we die we cease to exist, like animals, and that there was no supernatural entity monitoring our actions, you would live entirely differently?

Because I’m entirely confident in my judgement that religion is a human construct, but it’s not relevant particularly, as I can’t imagine I’d be living much differently were I a believer.

This is nothing to do with Quakerism

(although some interesting discussions agree if you're a thoughtful ethical creative person looking for a friendly chat/cup of tea or lunch/community please do look up your local group.

In fact many religious groups like visitors for non-religious chats, check what the vibe is then pop in!).

Sorry OP, is this the same guy you've posted about MULTIPLE times who:

• Makes nasty comments to you to humiliate you ("are you blind?", points out a female colleagues attractive features when you've made him a welcome home dinner....)

• Is flaky with plans and gaslights you on arrangements.

• You tolerate this as he's got a good job (lawyer/professor?) and he's nice to you 90% of the time.

• As you keep coming back for more of his odd behaviour and making excuses for him, he's escalating.

He's abusive and a bully - I expect he specifically engineered the comment in a way to imply you were excluded, it was "his" thing, he'll be building a new friendship group there and you're peripheral.

He's clever and spiteful and he's being nasty in a plausibly deniable way to make you look like the bad guy.

It's not a casual comment, it's not about Religion Vs Atheism, it's about whittling away at your self-esteem and making you insecure.

Whatever your beliefs are (or not) you're fine. He's manipulating you to push your buttons. That's the issue.

A poster said on one of your previous threads after a few months you find this type intriguing as they are hard-to-get, after a year you just feel they are boring, draining, and annoying.

Get rid of him. He's incredibly, incredibly bad news. The good news is you have no children.

Sorry - no not at all, I didn't mean to come across that way in the slightest - please don't misinterpret or fill in what you see as blanks. You get good and bad in believers or unbelievers.

The above is your theory though and not based on fact. You choose to say religion is a manmade concoction. All I am saying is it is one of those things that will be found out about after we cease to exist on earth. I am not arguing or debating, or even saying where i stand in the whole matter. Just stating that once we pop our clogs we will find out for sure.

Fellow atheist here. You can bring your children up in a 'no faith' environment, but you can't dictate what beliefs they will follow as they grow up. Similarly, you may start a relationship with someone who is also an atheist, but their views may change over time.

I think religious - or more accurately, spiritual - views have a valuable place in our society. I'm not talking about restrictive fundamentalism, but what I think of a rational belief.

As an atheist, I do believe in transcendence - you only have to look at the universe (as far as we can), or read the mind-boggling theories that come from rational science about the nature of reality to know there is something here that is far beyond our capacity to understand. Religious people call it 'God,' which is a kind of short-circuit as it doesn't explain anything. I just call it wonder. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who didn't have that capacity to wonder.

Atheists don't really have beliefs, or not around religious concepts. What you report him saying doesn't sound patronising or sarcastic, but don't close your mind to the transcendent. It exists in the world around you, but it doesn't need a god or any other supernatural being. It's part of the wonder that is the universe from the tiniest particle (which I don't think we've found yet) to infinity.

Agnostic here, both myself and ex were not religious so raised our now 7 yr old without a religion. She has touched on religious education at school and has now asked to go to church.

Regardless of my own beliefs I will still take her and let her choose for herself.

As the offspring of a fervent atheist I can assure you it can take on the the same fixed rigidity, intolerance and control as any devout religious observer, with weird rules and rituals and beliefs just as seemingly random and inexplicable.

I was initially brought up as officially a "Practicing Atheist," double underlined on every document. The extremeness meant it was picked up on and I faced questions everywhere from a very young age.
Actively rejecting religion was an important expected part of life and identity.

Formally excluded from school assembly, RE classes, carol singing/listening, hearing the Sally army band from many streets away, or anything connected to Christmas or Easter. School, society and parent extended this to cover snow covered post boxes, robins, snowflakes, glitter, tinsel, Xmas trees, fluffy chicks, bunnies, chocolate eggs, and a huge host of other things.
Clothing choices dictated by not appearing certain ways. Kneeling forboden. Colored light pooling on the floor through glass must not be played in...
Taught to perceive all external authority as the stupid untrustworthy sheeples from the off. My parent was the only authority in life.
The tip of the iceberg a child can be subjected to under the name of atheist..

The importance of controlling what I did or didn't believe meant the wrong look at the wrong moment or glancing at the wrong thing, could end very badly.
Then adults in school would say they could tell what I was thinking, so I developed practicing 'shielding' my mind and thoughts, appreciation of beauty of many things, and becoming mentally blank and neutral around everyone to mentally survive my fear of both 'sides.' I was just a powerless kid.

My parent was so terrified that their control of me would end if I was 'brainwashed' by religion, that they worked to 'brainwash' me in their non belief.
Ironically I ended up in the 'care' of nuns who wanted to battle 'Satan' for my soul if I had one.

No matter what I thought, believed or didn't, someone had got to me, I could not have or own my own unfucked with thoughts on anything, ever.
Control is control whatever philosophies or words are used to excuse or rationalize it.
NAAALT obviously, but atheism can be no different to any other dogmatic system of beliefs when practiced by controlling individuals.

I vaguely wonder if the OP is the sort of atheist that gets offended by being invited to a Christening ?

Kindly, it’s not up to you to decide whether your children have faith or not. It’s up to children to decide for themselves once grown. A more balanced approach is to provide a wide education on all faiths and none and allow a person to make up their own mind.

Learning about other faiths and cultures is important in a diverse society and would go a long way to more understanding and respect. Perhaps you should take a leaf out of your boyfriend’s book?

And to refer to a previous poster, you don’t need to worry about “catching religion”.

Yes, that’s Pascal’s famous wager. However, many of us don’t require the carrot and stick of religion to behave well. I know that religion is a manmade construct, concocted out of a fear of death and an urge to impose order and explain the workd before science did. I behave with consideration and care to others, volunteer and contribute to society, obey the law, try to prioritise peace and justice in my actions, care for the natural world etc etc — even though there’s no ‘eternal reward’. When we die, we just don’t exist any more. In the unlikely event of there being some form of post-death judgement, I will still have lived ethically and with care for others.

Are you saying you wouldn’t be ‘a law-abiding, caring person’ unless you thought God was watching? Don’t you think it’s possible to live well as an atheist?