About boyfriend visiting a quaker house?

You sound slightly nuts op

Why not?
xhikdren learn about the meaning of Christmas and Easter at school, they do the nativity play in infants every Christmas. RE is compulsory in most U.K. schools.

I don’t consider myself religious but do want my daughter to have the option to explore all religions and make her own decision. I’ve never put my views onto her, simply because being religious isn’t a bad thing, being an atheists isn’t bad either… BUT it should be a child’s choice and in order to have informed choice they should be allowed to explore….

My DD went to church at Christmas time and does RE at school…. For a few years now she’s expressed that she doesn’t believe in God and that was a conclusion she made by herself.

I think when you have children with someone you have to compromise and allow some of their beliefs to be part of your child’s life…. Your children can be bought up in a faith while still not being forced to take on that faith…. As long as at every step the child is allowed to say ‘I don’t want to go anymore’…. Then I don’t see the issue.

What does annoy me though is when certain religions knock your door or come up to you while you’re walking round town trying to ‘recruit’ you into their cult… annoys the hell out of me! I respect their belief and I just want my beliefs or lack there of to be respected too!

You say he'd usually go to a cafe or pub.

You know that the big Quaker Meeting House on Euston Road (right opposite the station) contains a cafe? (and non-religious bookshop, and the rest of the building is run as a conference centre). Loads of people go there to eat, or attend events, without having anything to do with Quakerism at all....

Surely you wouldn’t want to raise your children as atheist? You’d raise them to have awareness of different faiths and make their own minds up?

I always felt it was far safer and healthier to raise my kids to know about all the main religions and experience going to their various places of worship while kids - otherwise you risk them becoming one of those obnoxious folks who find god at university and make it their life’s work to preach to all their family and friends. Kids love to rebel against their parents.

anyway you have no reason to be pissed off at him, it’s a non issue. He probably just meant he didn’t invite you as didn’t think you’d be interested. I hardly think one trip to a religious building means he’s a convert

Talk to him not to us....

I’m an atheist and I’m not anti religion. I don’t give it a thought to be honest

I’d say you’re more agnostic, then? I’ve always seen atheists as ‘anti’ religion (hence I could also have made the ‘severe’ comment), whereas agnostics don’t know, and sometimes aren’t interested either.

Children will decide for themselves. As you are obviously obsessive about the subject, I think that it would better not to have children than have them and make their life hell.
What would you do if your nine year old decided there was a God? What will you do about children receiving religious education?
What will you do when schools celebrate religious festivities?

If I was that young man, I'd escape from your controlling ways immediately.

Ok. He made a snarky comment.

Does it have friends or is it on its own?

Have a chat in a quiet moment and see what else he has to say. Maybe it was misjudged or there was something else behind it.

If he's getting religion the best people to talk to are your local Quakers. As a rule they're friendly and accepting folk who tend not to use thumbscrews on others. At least, not on the first visit. 😂

But it is a Christian denomination based on George Fox disagreeing with the way Cof E was conducted. Individuals might not be but the faith is based on belief in a Christian God

@Celia24 It sounds to me that you're rather over-frightened at the idea of anyone close to you having a faith. Are you a particularly fervent atheist? I'm picturing a conversation where you stated your position strongly, he replied with 'Well, I'm not THAT opposed to religion!'

Anyway, Quakers aren't aligned with any particular religion. Along with the commonplace vague 'C of E for weddings and funerals' it's pretty non-threatening.

So it would be your way or the highway. Don’t you understand that children are the joint responsibility of their parents, God help the father of your children if he doesn’t agree with everything you think is the right way to raise them!

I think the main point here is I wouldn't want future children to have a faith.

It isn’t your decision, though.

Sure, you can try and control what information your future children have access to, and try to prevent them from learning about anything you don’t approve of. But when they are older whether they choose to follow a faith and, if so, which one, is entirely their own choice.

As a parent it is your job to nourish, nurture and educate, so that as adults your children are informed, independent, critical thinkers who feel empowered to live their lives however they choose.

I have. I was commenting on op’s comment of “I wouldn’t want future children to have faith.”
Kids don’t follow a straight route of what parents want as I mentioned in my response.

I know - i was responding to a comment that Quakers are Christians. Not all of them are, whether attenders or members.

You've don't seem to have read the OPs posts beyond the first, @Agathamarple

If I was him I’d run a mile.

You can actively raise your children to not have faith and they may find one and decide they want religion in their lives. What happens then? I think if you have such rigid views and such a closed mind you will end up having a lot of disappointment in your future.
I know people who grew up in religious households and have zero faith. I know people that grew up in zero faith households that converted to a religion.
I know people that grew up in faith households that moved away from that faith for years and then went back to it.
my point is that faith is a very personal thing and to be too rigid isn’t always the best route.
Just because he has some spiritual beliefs and visited a Quaker house doesn’t mean you will have to raise your children in that or any other faith. They’ll be exposed to religion outside of the home and will make their own minds up.

Being an atheist is actually an act of faith. Its saying there is definitely no god, as opposed to someone who says there definitely is a god. Neither is provable. Life is hard. So whatever it takes to get through, including religions based on the principle of do no harm, is OK with me.

Seems a bit excessive to insist on what he must believe in. If you do make it a dealbreaker, sounds like a lucky escape for him.

The worst kinds of behaviour are usually intolerance and lack of kindness. I'm more interested in a partner's values, behaviours and moral compass, than their stated religion.

Btw Children will grow up and make their own decisions on what to believe in...unless you join a cult.

Do you know anything about the Quaker faith?

It's the least 'pushy' faith there is

This

Was it The Meeting house opposite Euston Station which is a lovely old building with two outside cafes and delicious wholefoods, it's very interesting to look around and sit in the peaceful courtyards,

I’m a Quaker too, and the actual Meeting House has very little to do with the faith. Quakers would meet in markets and each other’s homes in the early days.

Then leave him alone and find yourself an atheist. You sound a bit controlling.