Walking to school alone - advice please

Mumsnet is particularly ridiculous when it comes to children's independence and risk taking.

Things that are completely normal in western Europe are deemed child abuse by far too many posters and we wonder why we have so many issues with kids having a lack of resilience and independence life skills when they hit their late teens.

This country is far too overprotective and does not allow children to develop viral skills because parents have lost their minds and don't know how to risk management.

Mumsnet is ridiculous sometimes. It's 2 streets away! (5 mins). I'd be fine with that. My dd started walking to school at 9 with a friend, it's about an 8 minute walk. She is 10 and goes alone now(friend moved up to high school). If it was a long way that'd be different but 2 streets away is fine at that age.

School policies don’t supersede parental choice.

We are mainland Europe. Most children walk or take the bus alone as soon as they start school at 6 years. I would say 90% do.
Ds might, but I will have to drive him to and from bus stop as we don’t live close to the bus route. In fact school encourages it

Secondary school starts at 10, and everyone definitely takes the bus to the next large town alone then (it’s about 20mins drive)

So I wouldn’t have a problem with a 9 year old walking 5 mins

Our school allows 7 year olds to leave the premises alone to meet a parent parked up around the corner about 400m away on a daily basis with parental permission. There's been three or four in DSs class since Yr2. The teacher has no way of knowing the parent is actually there (I've seen kids hanging about waiting for a late parent before)

So frankly I don't know what the fuck you are on about. Clearly it's legally allowed and social services haven't had a shit fit about it either.

I would leave a 9 year old at home for a short period whilst I nipped out during the day. Not late in the evening or for a prolonged period but a short period absolutely yes. It's part of normal childhood development of independence. And no social services won't do anything despite suggestions here, because it's not neglect if it's managed, the child is responsible enough and fine with the arrangement. It's about risk management - if you have considered the risks and the child has a plan if there is an issue then it's fine.

I think it's bonkers that people think this is a problem tbh.

It's really not appalling. This country is ridiculous in terms of helicopter parents mollycoddling their children and stifling their autonomy.

Don't listen to all the 'not a chance' idiots.

She's year 5. My school allowance kids to walk from the summer of yr4 with parental permission.

It is a necessary part of transition to high school to encourage your kids to start walking by themselves. It is a healthy part of the process of independence. School will not say no for this reason.

It is not healthy to be overprotective and driven them everywhere as teens.

OP, you know how sensible she is and you know the area. You say it's not far and it's 5 minutes.

Kids across Europe start walking to school alone from age 6. It's the UK that's out of step not the other way round.

At 9 she's old enough.Mine walked to school at this age, I assume we're taking about a y5 child? If ds won't walk with her could she set off ahead of him so he can keep an eye on her?

I think it sounds fine. You could put an air tag in her bag so you can track where she is.

Perfectly fine, assuming she's reasonably sensible. Where I live most walk from 1st grade, at 7 years old (some will still be 6 at the start of the year). My DS will be walking alone next year when he's 7, and there's a good chance he'll have to let himself out on time and lock up, depending on how DD's school hours fit with his (I mean, hopefully they'll both be leaving around the same time but its pretty unlikely, at least very unlikely to be the same time every day)

Our school allows it from year 5.

Phone wise, they hand it into the office and pick up at home. I would drop them an email and ask

Yes I would. It's a good age to do these things and totally normal at our school for kids to walk alone from that age. At that age I was getting the bus to middle school two mikes away.

I think before and after school care is a big ask of a 15yo. I’d be fed up.

If changing hours is not an option, is there a breakfast club offering at her school that you could drop her to yourself @chickensarnie ?

Have you asked if the school will allow her a phone if she hands it in at reception and picks it up at the end of the day? Our school allowed year 5 children to walk to and from school alone from Easter and kids could take a phone as long as they were handed in at reception.

I do sympathise with your older child, its probably not cool to have his little sister with him and image matters to lots of 15 year olds.

I hope that you find a solution.

Nope. Not at 9 !

@clary Society has changed quite significantly since we were kids ffs! 🤦‍♀️
Also, my next door neighbour got a visit from a social worker when she left her 8yr old son alone in the house for 3 hours once a week so that's clearly not acceptable and considered neglect.

I left my DC alone for a short while in the house starting from about age 8/9 - as long as they were OK with it. I'm clearly slack - no wait, I was prepping them for some bigger independence. I don't think a 9yo is very likely to get swooped on by a predator as she walks to school with everyone else who is walking to school. It's a really safe way to get a bit of independence and learn some resilience, in a small and low-key way at first.

DD walked to school with a friend at the end of year 4. DD and DS2 both walked to and from school without a parent by year 5 - DS1 was year 6 bc he wasn;t keen before then.

It's fine @chickensarnie as most people say.

@HauntedbyMagpies I walked to and from school with my sister (2 years older) from age 5. Blimey it's a wonder I am still alive.

I genuinely cannot believe the amount of people saying it's fine to let a nine year old girl walk to school alone! Just because they think it makes them a 'cool' mum or it saves them a job...

If you wouldn't leave the child alone in the house then why the flippity FUCK would you leave them alone outdoors?!?!?!

This is unbelievable. So neglect is considered 'trendy' then in Scotland? How trendy is it to have your child knocked over by a fast car or abducted?

Nope not fine to let her go by herself - your 15 year old can carry on walking her to school.

My god that's appalling 😧

I have a 9yr old in year 5 - Hellllllll no! Not a chance. Aside from the safety aspect, she'd be a prime target for a predator and less able to defend herself than an older child. I know I'll get mocked for saying that but is it not accurate? It's not the 80s anymore, society has changed, the population has increased and with that, so has the number of predators.... And the number of cars on the roads.

Not here. No schools in England would let a 7 year old walk in alone or with a 9 year old.

Why would she be off to high school this time next year? You don’t start high school until age 11 so it would be 2 years at least, possibly 3 if DD has only just turned 9 this month!