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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore unclean teeth?

62 replies

TheMauveBeaker · 04/09/2024 21:34

Friend has a 15 year old son. Personal hygiene is very good other than the teeth! Though they are straight, no need for braces, they are very yellow, almost brown. I was shocked when I saw him last week, hadn’t met up with them for a while, and I was taken aback by the brown teeth.

He’s a nice lad, whole family is lovely, but his teeth look like they need attention - they honestly looked like they hadn’t been cleaned for weeks. Feel like it’s such an easy problem to fix and that someone should say something but (a) not sure I’m brave enough; and (b) not sure how to broach the subject.
DH says I should say nothing and I know that’s the easy option. However, teeth are one of my ‘things’, probably because I haven’t been blessed with very good ones!
AIBU - ignore the teeth, it’s not your child/problem
IANBU - say something (what?) it needs sorting now to prevent problems later

OP posts:
creamcheeseandlox · 04/09/2024 22:59

My 12 yr old DS has hyper mineralisation on his teeth which makes them mottled and discoloured. It's something that was there before the teeth even came through and is to do with the development of them. He would be absolutely mortified as would I if someone mentioned it. He is very self conscious about them but we can't get them whitened till he is 14+ and all his baby teeth are gone. Don't mention anything as it has nothing to do with you.

dothehokeycokey · 04/09/2024 22:50

A friend of mines son and teeth that are rotten all over.

He's nearly 21 and I'm pretty sure his mum was too busy with her other 6 kids to even notice.

She jokes about how she relied on them from a young age to do hygiene and none of the kids are. Particularly clean.

IfOnlyTheyWent · 04/09/2024 22:45

There is no reason to tell your friend her DS teeth are discoloured, (as if she doesn't know already) unless you follow up with, I have an amazing dentist and I'll pay for all his dental treatment no questions asked.

Birdingbear · 04/09/2024 22:43

You might be wrong tho! I know someone who has yellow and dark teeth but it's not cause they are dirty. I was at their dentist appointment with them and the dentist told them their teeth are very clean but they had damaged their teeth years ago and had the roots taken out. If no root then the tooth goes dark and there's nothing that can be done for that. Maybe he broke his tooth and had tonhave fillings.

tinymoon · 04/09/2024 22:42

This seems a bit simplistic and naive to me. If people could whiten their teeth so easily by brushing them why are so many people

spending thousands of pounds on professional tooth whitening, going to Turkey to get their teeth filed down etc.

Sadmamatoday · 04/09/2024 22:42

Why is it any of your business?

FuzzyDiva · 04/09/2024 22:33

Coloured teeth are not necessary unclean. They could be meticulously brushed and looked after but genetics or staining is the cause.

He will know because he can see what they look like. Don’t be cruel and make him even more self conscious than he probably already is.

XenoBitch · 04/09/2024 22:30

Wowzel · 04/09/2024 22:27

My teeth are quite yellow, dentist says they are healthy and clean though and i have never had a filling. Apparently you can see the yellow dentine in some people's teeth

This.

People see the shiny whites on TV and think that is the norm. It is not! Bright white teeth are not natural.

Wowzel · 04/09/2024 22:27

My teeth are quite yellow, dentist says they are healthy and clean though and i have never had a filling. Apparently you can see the yellow dentine in some people's teeth

kateclarke · 04/09/2024 22:23

TheMauveBeaker · 04/09/2024 22:00

Just to address a couple of replies:

  1. I wouldn’t “be cruel” @kateclarke I do know how to be tactful. As I said, my teeth aren’t the greatest and I’d hate for someone I’m fairly close to to have to go through what I have.
  2. @lightsandtunnels I’ve no intention of pulling anyone up, I just wondered whether I should say something and if so, what. Clearly you think I shouldn’t so thank you for that.
I’ll ignore it so. That seems to be the general consensus

No matter how 'tactful' you think you are being, it still hurts.

DelilahBucket · 04/09/2024 22:03

My son's adult teeth are brown. They grew like that. It's comments like yours OP that made him extremely paranoid about people saying he didn't clean his teeth. He had his front two covered to make them look whiter. He can have them whitened when he is 18.

Original poster
TheMauveBeaker · 04/09/2024 22:00

Just to address a couple of replies:

  1. I wouldn’t “be cruel” @kateclarke I do know how to be tactful. As I said, my teeth aren’t the greatest and I’d hate for someone I’m fairly close to to have to go through what I have.
  2. @lightsandtunnels I’ve no intention of pulling anyone up, I just wondered whether I should say something and if so, what. Clearly you think I shouldn’t so thank you for that.
I’ll ignore it so. That seems to be the general consensus
OP posts:
NoGwenItsABoxingDayTrifle · 04/09/2024 21:56

They must be aware but I can see for the boys sake why you'd want to say something.
My son was left with really bad staining once his braces were removed. (It transpired that he was going to the corner shop before school and downing Coca Cola and Pringles without my knowledge)
Hygienist made zero difference and he had to have composite bonding to cover the stains. This was done free of charge because he was 15.
It only lasts 5-10 years though and he had to have it done again at 21.. £200 per tooth!

JADS · 04/09/2024 21:54

When you say his teeth are brown, what do you mean? Is it a surface stain? Do the whole teeth look brown?

theeyeofdoe · 04/09/2024 21:54

my 18yos teeth are yellow and always have been. No cavities though.

ALunchbox · 04/09/2024 21:53

It can be a condition. My daughter suffers from it. She brushes her teeth religiously and has never had decayed teeth but they definitely look brown. The dentist said there is nothing that can be done aside from veneers.

boredborednot · 04/09/2024 21:53

Some people naturally have yellow teeth . I definitely would not comment…rude .

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/09/2024 21:52

I wouldn’t say anything. Do you think they haven’t noticed? There could also be a reason such as medication etc that you may not know about.

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 04/09/2024 21:51

You could say something like has he had a check up lately at the dentist ?

Mumof2namechange · 04/09/2024 21:50

If he's lived in a country where they add fluorine to the water, it darkens your teeth (while hardening and strengthening the enamel). I had a classmate at school who'd lived in Kenya where they do this (or did back then, anyway). She had healthy teeth that were brown stained

Phloopey · 04/09/2024 21:49

It's not always an easy problem to fix.

lightsandtunnels · 04/09/2024 21:49

If I pulled up every one of my friend's children over the years because of something I thought wasn't right, or didn't agree with then I'd have no friends left.
Leave the poor boy and family alone. Absolutely not your business OP.

kateclarke · 04/09/2024 21:48

Have naturally dark teeth and I can't count the amount of people who have told me that I need to clean them.
I have very good oral hygiene and strong healthy teeth.
It's so upsetting when people say this and really affects my confidence.
So just mind your own business and don't be cruel.

Alwaystiredzzz · 04/09/2024 21:48

It could be diet related and he’s not getting the right nutrients that can cause teeth to have discolouration or certain medications. It might not be because they’re not being cleaned.

thereiscustardinthejamtart · 04/09/2024 21:46

spikeandbuffy24 · 04/09/2024 21:44

@thereiscustardinthejamtart it's because there's a thing about redheads having yellow teeth (I'm a redhead so I've heard it all before)

Ah! OK.

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