Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore unclean teeth?

62 replies

TheMauveBeaker · 04/09/2024 21:34

Friend has a 15 year old son. Personal hygiene is very good other than the teeth! Though they are straight, no need for braces, they are very yellow, almost brown. I was shocked when I saw him last week, hadn’t met up with them for a while, and I was taken aback by the brown teeth.

He’s a nice lad, whole family is lovely, but his teeth look like they need attention - they honestly looked like they hadn’t been cleaned for weeks. Feel like it’s such an easy problem to fix and that someone should say something but (a) not sure I’m brave enough; and (b) not sure how to broach the subject.
DH says I should say nothing and I know that’s the easy option. However, teeth are one of my ‘things’, probably because I haven’t been blessed with very good ones!
AIBU - ignore the teeth, it’s not your child/problem
IANBU - say something (what?) it needs sorting now to prevent problems later

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Rubyupbeat · 05/09/2024 09:37

Unless your friends are some kind of special needs or visually impaired who need support, then , no, don't say anything.
They can see the same as you, the boy may have some kind of condition? My friends daughter had brownish, spotted teeth, due to having measles as a baby. She was so consious of the them and ended up having veneers at 20. If people had kept informing her of this, she would have no confidence at all.

rainbowbee · 05/09/2024 09:27

A little off topic but my teeth looked dark in a photograph beside two friends and it bothered me. They aren't in real life. The two friends have had veneers, one following an accident and the other following damage from adult braces. I think sometimes we forget what natural clean healthy teeth look like.

Imalongtimepostingmum · 05/09/2024 09:05

Ignore please.

My ASD 14yr old has horrific teeth. Baby teeth that haven't come out, so he has a second set in lots of places. Lots of yellow plaque.

But if you'd had to be his parent trying to get him even into a dentist waiting room, and then chasing him out onto the road screaming and being sick, you would have given up on dentists for him too. (same for doctors, it's the smell).

So whilst we've spent £6000 on private braces for DD, DS looks like a child who isn't taken care of. He very much is. But every single thing is a battle!!

onwardsup4 · 05/09/2024 08:59

IfOnlyTheyWent · 04/09/2024 22:45

There is no reason to tell your friend her DS teeth are discoloured, (as if she doesn't know already) unless you follow up with, I have an amazing dentist and I'll pay for all his dental treatment no questions asked.

This! She can see as well as you can I assume, absolutely no point in saying anything.

Fleur240 · 05/09/2024 08:54

Hi I @TheMauveBeaker Is he asthmatic by any chance? Inhalers can cause staining

blahblahblah24 · 05/09/2024 08:07

Mind your own business

PolePrince55 · 05/09/2024 07:59

EBearhug · 05/09/2024 01:16

My teeth got stained after using Corsodyl mouth wash. Went back to normal after I stopped using it.

Edited

Save for my hubby, they went orange

PolePrince55 · 05/09/2024 07:58

You will embarrass him and hurt his mum.
If you say anything be prepared for burnt bridges.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/09/2024 07:55

Good Lord, I can't believe anyone thinks it's the OPs business!!

Oblomov24 · 05/09/2024 06:54

WTF is the Ginger thing? Angry

I'd mention it, ask about her ds and the dentist.

mummy2oneandtwo · 05/09/2024 06:01

Wow - how rude.

Myself and my son have fluorosis which causes yellow staining on our teeth. Our teeth are clean and well looked after but it's something I've always been self conscious of because of people like you.

Whitening them is difficult due to the nature of the stains but I was going to try a couple of years ago as new (expensive) treatments are available, but changed my mind when son came home from school upset after another child had commented on his teeth. Until he's old enough to have whitening treatment I've decided to leave mine so he knows we're the same.

Mind your own business and realise it's nothing to do with oral hygiene Hmm

Spiderwmn · 05/09/2024 06:01

My neighbours son was like this for a year or so - coated furry teeth but I know absolutely my neighbour would have spoken to her son about it and therefore he was choosing not to brush his teeth. Don’t say anything.
Son cleans his teeth now.

ArcticBells · 05/09/2024 05:59

I think you should mind your own business!

NiftyKoala · 05/09/2024 05:48

I understand. I have a young relative like this. I say nothing because clearly the parent and child know and I would embarrass the child. Say nothing.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 05/09/2024 05:34

Does he smoke/drink? Know someone whose teeth I’ve never noticed because they’re ok- saw them out running and they spoke to me and I noticed their teeth were disgusting! Brown, just 🤢. They get up at 4am to run (they do ultra marathons so train). No shower, don’t brush teeth.
Saw them again in the evening and back to normal. No idea until then that smoking and red wine were that bad!

timetodecide2345 · 05/09/2024 05:31

You shouldn't say anything because you haven't a clue :

  1. About teeth and what leads to discolouration. You are making a set of assumptions based on little knowledge.
  1. It's not your place to comment. You are not his mother. If you were my friend commenting on my daughter's teeth I would tell you to back off.
Original poster
TheMauveBeaker · 05/09/2024 05:21

Final post from me.

Lots of people have said I’m cruel or unkind, I’m neither. Asking whether I should say anything isn’t cruel or unkind.
Lots of people have pointed out that this is none of my business. This is why I asked whether I should say anything.
I won’t be saying anything. I’ll wait and see if my friend mentions it as she is very open about everything (via SM and in person).

OP posts:
TransformerZ · 05/09/2024 01:26

It could be medicine staining them.
Just his natural stone.
Really unfair to say he's unclean.

EBearhug · 05/09/2024 01:16

My teeth got stained after using Corsodyl mouth wash. Went back to normal after I stopped using it.

Jk987 · 05/09/2024 00:09

Does he have bad breath? That would be worse than the staining! If not then I'd presume he does clean his teeth and he's got staining due to coffee etc.

Galadriell · 05/09/2024 00:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

😂😂😂

Jellybeanz456 · 04/09/2024 23:15

Because everyone is so used to seeing gleaming white fake teeth these days they forget what natural teeth look like!!!

And100 · 04/09/2024 23:10

I definitely would not comment. Teeth aren't meant to be bright white - there are so many products and procedures that people use to get them whiter. But in reality, people have different shades.

Even if he does have a problem, it would be very rude for you to point out I think.

KreedKafer · 04/09/2024 23:08

Absolutely do not say anything. It’s not as if your friend can’t see her son’s teeth with her own eyes. If he has a condition that discolours his teeth, she will be aware of that and doesn’t need you pointing out that it looks bad. If he simply doesn’t brush his teeth, she will be aware of that too and will have done what she can to try and make him do it, but it’s not like she could actually force him. You mentioning it would accomplish nothing, other than implying that you think you’re a more capable parent than her.

Stirmish · 04/09/2024 23:00

Maybe he smokes