Telling a 11 year old to be home at 7

Here I am remembering the late 90s and thinking about how much more grateful i should have been for my 9pm curfew 😂

The teen years are going to be a new challenge for me! Everything seems to have changed. We used to go home, have tea together and then go out so perhaps that's the difference?

You let your 11 year old have a phone? 😮

/s

@homesweethome u know that children need independent play to develop and thrive?? Hours of freedom in their own neighborhood was totally normal until recently with the rise of traffic and sedentary screen based childhood

Children need to be able to run about after school and relax . Kids having a football game or knocking for a mate and roller skating about on a cul de sac on a summer evening is literally what children

I work in the area of online harm and children are far more at risk online

Given that some kids her age have just beat an old innocent man to death, I’d be having her in at 7.

I never roamed the streets when I was younger, must be boring as hell!

I can't believe an 11-y.o. is questioning your orders.

He's still up?! A bit late for a 12 year old no? 🤣🤣

But why not? If all you personally know, is growing up in a less safe area, and your child is growing up in a less safe area, how would you know any different?

Ive read this thread to my 12 year old to show him.i am not the strictest parent as he claims 😂

It has actually cheered me up reading it as o worry constantly that my children don't spend enough time playing outdoors and it has made me realise my bar for that is very high. I find it depressing if they come home and don't go out after school

I think it’s bizarre people just let their kids out on their own at those young ages! No wonder there’s so many issues 🤣

If you read another post I have already added you will see they have a great social life full of sports and clubs. They are out of the house from 7:30am until gone 6pm most evenings. They then come home to shower and eat and do homework. It’s only school nights they are now allowed out not every night. weekends and holidays are completely different.

The friends group they are in also have the same rules. I can think of 15 names off the top of my head who also have the same rules.

Yes I know that not all parks are the same and not all 11 year olds are the same but to say in general terms that an 11 year old unsupervised in a park is unbelievable can't be a genuine statement.

But all parks are not the same, and all 11 year olds are not the same.

It's fascinating how on this thread the majority assume that everyone lives in the same type of (safe) area as them, or that there is some universal level of maturity for all children of the same age.

The simple answer @FreshStart2025 is that you do whatever you're comfortable with, your DC probably won't like it, but you're the parent.

Personally at 11 mine would not have been allowed out until 7 straight from school, but they would have been allowed to come home, get homework and dinner done, and go back out. A moot point for me personally as mine had sports every night, but you get my point.

Unbelievable? What age would you say 7pm (on a light night) would be believable and acceptable?

@busted on a sunny evening in a safe area would you not rather see kids kicking a ball about a park than think of them all indoors in front of the TV?

My local park is a family area ....I wish I saw more kids there on sunny evenings. I know the majority are slumped indoors gaming

Depends where.

Out round our street with the other kids, as long as dd was in for 9 at that age, I wasn't bothered. She's usually home by 4, does all her hw if she has any, by about 430, then her time is her own. Especially as we're not home until about 6 anyway.

Further afield, no. When she was in yr 7 she wanted to go to hang out near the supermarket on a Friday, around 6. It was December, a 20 minutes walk away and dark, so i vetoed That. There are a few parks I'd want her to avoid too.

8@CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease yep this is so true it's hard for some to imagine. I also suspect more boys than girls would head to a park just because of football as a past time

An 11 year old shouldn't be wandering about outside in the evening. Fine to be out if they are doing something specific e.g. friends house. At that age (and a bit older, too) you need to know where they are and who they are with, in order to keep them safe.

I think this is really sad. Memories of her childhood not being allowed out. Is it due to where you live? Does she have friends over? Go to theirs?

My 11 year old is in and out all evening after school, he has a tracker on his phone so I can always see where he is. once the clocks change he will no doubt hibernate for the winter until next spring. I like it like this, I think it's good to be in the fresh air and over winter it's just nice to relax in the house without keeping tabs on him.

I think this is very true, I live in a small town, it's a "new" town which was built around keeping pedestrians safe meaning there's lots of green space and the estates are very well set up for kids playing out and it's very common for them to be out and about from 7 or 8.

Yes that's probably true. I live in a very safe area and street. The kids are always out on their bikes and in and out of each others houses. Very normal to quickly have dinner and then out to play again when the nights are lights.

There has been a big attitude shift with some parents though. I really can't understand as some posters are saying they find an 11 year old in a park unsupervised unbelievable. 11 isn't a baby.

I think it depends where you live and how safe the area is. My 12 year old is generally in by 8 on a school night but has been known to play in the garden with his friend from across the road till 9 on a nice night. He then tends to fall asleep very quickly after a quick snack, teeth brush and wash. My nearly 8 year old only came in from playing at 6.15 pm.

I am quite shocked that 14 year olds are banned from going out on school nights. It's not the done thing in my area at all. It seems super strict to me but that's because it's doesn't happen around my area.

My 11 year old just started secondary school and wouldn't be allowed out at 7pm by herself yet. I live in a city and it's not safe - after around 6 the parks fill up with vaping teenagers and she's not ready to navigate all that. I'm in Scotland so most of the school year it's long dark by 7 anyway.

You know your kid and your neighbourhood best and of course you're in charge so if you're comfortable with it that sounds fine to me!

My Dd is allowed to stay out until 7pm term time & 8.30pm in the holidays. We’re very lucky in the set up of our cul de sac though.

Could you do homework/tea earlier then let her stay out a bit later? I absolutely love my DD being out and I think it’s a big memory to take to adulthood. Plus. She’s not picked the iPad up since the going out started.

Edited to add my DD is 8. Edited again to say this will change as it nears winter! There’s a strict rule that they all stay together too.

Bye 👋