Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to know how to manage my evenings with DD?

159 replies

BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 18:42

I'm a single mum to an almost 5 year old DD who is just starting reception. I work full time as a teacher and don't have any family for childcare. She has been in preschool at my school for a year now.

Our routine currently is that DD is in after school club until 5.15- she has 'tea' there, which is something like cheesy pasta or a sausage roll. I pick her up and we get home about 5.45. I then give her a snack plate of a cheese or ham sandwich with lots of veg and fruit, something like cucumber, tomato, peppers and blueberries, and a yoghurt. She has this while watching TV 😳 and i use the time to decompress a bit from work but also to do things like laundry and housework . Then at about 6.45 we start the bedtime routine. I usually try to have her sleep by 7.45-8, since she has to be up at 6.45 in the morning. I then have my own dinner after she is in bed usually and i get my own work done then as well .

This has worked well for us this year but i am conscious that she will start to have reading and things to do in the evenings . Plus I am feeling guilty that i don't cook dinner (although she does get a hot lunch at school and also has the substantial 'tea' after school , so I'm not sure if she would eat another fullmeal).

The problem is that I can't work out how to change the evening routine. I.can't leave work any earlier and i don't really want to be putting DD to bed much later . How do people manage to get homework and dinner into the evenings ? Some sample timetables would be really helpful please ! Thanks in advance .

OP posts:
Starlingexpress · 04/09/2024 20:11

When mine were small I cooked 2 dishes on a Sunday-variations of curry, bolognaise, casseroles-enough of each for 2 nights. Frozen and then defrosted for 4 nights quick dinners with fresh pasta or ready cooked rice. Was nice to sit at the table with them for that little bit of time and actually allowed me to switch off from work mode!

Shinyandnew1 · 04/09/2024 20:09

Less TV time for reading book and more school uniform. Do laundry at the weekend. If there’s homework, do that at the weekend as well.

FuzzyDiva · 04/09/2024 20:07

I agree that you need more uniform and since you are both out of the house all day, surely the housework is minimal? Homework for Reception is 15 mins of reading per day here and I wouldn’t recommend it at bedtime because she will tired, so it will be harder for her. It really needs to come out of her 60 min to time/your decompression time.

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 04/09/2024 20:07

Araminta1003 · 04/09/2024 20:06

Also, more than homework I just find the most important thing with DC these days, especially girls, is talking to them before bed about their day (if they want to). So much comes out and it is a lifesaver if they still talk to you and keep you in the loop when they are teens.

This is so true. My DD is now 11, she often climbs in my bed and then starts sharing all
sorts of stuff, drama from school, worries, life stuff. It's lovely.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 20:07

PrincessOfPreschool · 04/09/2024 20:04

How many loads of laundry do you do a week for 2 of you? Maybe reduce to washing things which are actually dirty! Eg. Bedding and towels don't need to be done more than once a week. School jumpers etc only if they're dirty. The picky thing requiring daily washing is underwear and socks!

Thanks - I think when she was in pre-reception I had to keep washing things as they were actually dirty with food, paint etc. Bearing that in mind, I have bought lots of uniform for her for reception! So hopefully the washing will be less

OP posts:
Araminta1003 · 04/09/2024 20:06

Also, more than homework I just find the most important thing with DC these days, especially girls, is talking to them before bed about their day (if they want to). So much comes out and it is a lifesaver if they still talk to you and keep you in the loop when they are teens.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 20:05

Bristolnewcomer · 04/09/2024 20:01

This sounds relentless for you, how many hours a week are you actually working?

My mum worked similar hours and for anything more substantial than reading homework just told my teacher that I could only complete it if it was given over a weekend (at primary) which was honestly fine.

I probably work 50-55 hours a week I think

OP posts:
Oxide61 · 04/09/2024 20:05

FiveGoMadInDorset · 04/09/2024 18:51

Make her reading to you as part of your bed time routine, she reads to you, you read to her

This was going to be my suggestion too.

Her meals sound balanced and timely - no need to change that if it works for you both.

Can you afford a cleaner to take some of the load off you?

PrincessOfPreschool · 04/09/2024 20:04

How many loads of laundry do you do a week for 2 of you? Maybe reduce to washing things which are actually dirty! Eg. Bedding and towels don't need to be done more than once a week. School jumpers etc only if they're dirty. The picky thing requiring daily washing is underwear and socks!

Apolloneuro · 04/09/2024 20:04

I’d try to get home earlier a couple of days (yes this means you doing more work later.) Your routine sounds great but children are exhausted when they start school. I’d have her in bed by 6:30 and then you shower/eat work.

At the last school I worked in, the older children listened to the little ones read, at afterschool club.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 20:03

Araminta1003 · 04/09/2024 20:02

Instead of TV change it to educational apps like Hit the Button/Squeebles, Phonics games, Spelling Shed, Mathletics etc on an iPad? There is loads of stuff. Also audiobooks/rhymes/songs.
Do the 10 minute daily reading by her in the morning, if at all possible.

Precook some lentil/pulses/soup type dishes so warm and hearty for the autumn term?

Thanks, but I'm not sure about this idea. I think she needs a bit of downtime.

Sadly she is allergic to lentils and pulses (they are part of the legume family)

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGivenToday · 04/09/2024 20:03

Agree with others. 5 shirts/ 5 skirts etc and wash at the weekend, get your washer going on Friday when you have your earlier finish. Everything goes in the wash basket until then.

A cheap robot hoover (I have a EUFY, he cost just over £100 two years ago) he's been a life saver. Send him trundling around whilst your upstairs doing bedtime routine.

schoolsoutforever · 04/09/2024 20:03

You are doing an amazing job! Teaching full time (I am a teacher too) and looking after your daughter on your own must be a huge challenge. It sounds like you have it nailed. I really, really would not worry about a bit of TV. Someone upthread mentioned omelettes - best thing ever for children, so quick and easy. As others have said, reception is usually just a bit of reading so should fit in fine.

Araminta1003 · 04/09/2024 20:02

Instead of TV change it to educational apps like Hit the Button/Squeebles, Phonics games, Spelling Shed, Mathletics etc on an iPad? There is loads of stuff. Also audiobooks/rhymes/songs.
Do the 10 minute daily reading by her in the morning, if at all possible.

Precook some lentil/pulses/soup type dishes so warm and hearty for the autumn term?

viques · 04/09/2024 20:01

One thing I found really useful when working was the “delay programme “ button on my washing machine. I could sort and load the machine in the morning, put the timer to come on in the early evening, when all I had to do was remove it from the machine. Sometimes I did it the other way, load it last thing at night to come on early in the morning so the cycle was finished by the time I woke up .

Bristolnewcomer · 04/09/2024 20:01

This sounds relentless for you, how many hours a week are you actually working?

My mum worked similar hours and for anything more substantial than reading homework just told my teacher that I could only complete it if it was given over a weekend (at primary) which was honestly fine.

Rory17384949 · 04/09/2024 20:00

You won't need to do more than 15 minutes reading in reception so I would just start the bedtime routine a bit earlier to fit it in then

wonkymonkey · 04/09/2024 19:55

We do all homework in the morning after breakfast but mine are early birds! Also put the odd load of washing on in the evening for a delayed wash to finish first thing. If doing delayed washing might help then you could shorten the TV time to 30 mins if there’s too much to fit in first thing.

I also put all uniform out and pack bags the night before. Partly because I’m hopeless in the morning, partly to allow the early bird kids enough time to do homework with my input if needed (they’re older than yours but still primary). Hope that adds a few ideas.

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 19:53

Hankunamatata · 04/09/2024 19:42

I'd do homework as soon as you get home until 6.15 then food and a bit of tv. 7.15 upstairs brush teeth and wash and into bed for a story. If your doing baths I would stop and leave until weekend or do quick shower

This actually looks quite manageable - I will try this too. Thanks @Hankunamatata !

OP posts:
Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 19:46

Thanks to everyone for the rally supportive comments and suggestions. To those suggesting omelettes, unfortunately DD doesn't eat eggs (used to be allergic and now doesn't like them) and is allergic to legumes, so that rules out lots of useful quick but hot teas like beans on toast, omelette, egg muffins etc :(

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 04/09/2024 19:43

1 hour of tv is fine

Hankunamatata · 04/09/2024 19:42

I'd do homework as soon as you get home until 6.15 then food and a bit of tv. 7.15 upstairs brush teeth and wash and into bed for a story. If your doing baths I would stop and leave until weekend or do quick shower

Original poster
BarbaraVineFan · 04/09/2024 19:42

Dontopenthetrapdoor · 04/09/2024 18:59

I am a single mother to a 6 year old and our routine is pretty much the same as yours. I don't cook for my daughter on school nights as she has a cooked meal at school so she usually has a picky plate for tea. I often don't have a cooked meal either and join her for a sandwich. We don't do any homework except for her reading book which takes about 5 minutes once a week. I have just banned TV as it wasn't benefitting her and was causing arguments before bed. After a few days of whining she has accepted it and has embraced playing, drawing etc while I do housework and chat to her. Once she is in bed I catch up on work and chill out before I go to bed about 9.45ish.

This sounds like a great routine! I am not sure I am ready to ban TV just yet, as DD isn't fantastic at playing by herself when she's tired, but I'll have this as an aspiration for the future!

OP posts:
Hunkydory99 · 04/09/2024 19:36

We had and still have a very similar routine. We keep all homework to weekends and tried to do resding at bedtime. Occasionally if we had time we’d read on waking up/at breakfast time

immchuckbass · 04/09/2024 19:31

We had homework from reception, nothing major but had to sit down and complete together.. regarding reading.. yes a few times a week is good but also after a few months when they start to pick it up.. get her to read to you on the way home from school, over a weekend etc.. it seems like a lot now but I promise as they grow and learn more.. they are more independent with their learning.
oh also, sometimes if we had a busy week, I’d talk to her about her homework over dinner so I’d ask about phonics etc.. she wouldn’t even realise but I knew I was encouraging it at home too