Not to know how to manage my evenings with DD?

You sound like a very caring and lovely mum. In fact I think in some ways you are putting pressure and increased expectation on yourself. I had to learn to give myself ‘permission’ to cut corners, lower standards etc.

things that helped (and still help) me:
most household jobs can be done in 5-10 minute bursts. Such as change a bed, hoover and straighten a room, stick a wash on, hang a wash up, sweep and wash a floor, clean sink and loo.. You get the idea. So rather than look critically at all that need doing in the house I do 2-3 tasks a day and focus on that achievement.

I do maybe 5 loads of laundry a week, more than one load a day if I’m home and can get it dry outside.

in terms of meals, on a bad week I find it overwhelming to do a big shop and decide what we might want to eat in 4 or 5 days! (At other times I’m motivated and can do batch cooking). On a bad week I might go to the co op or Tesco express a couple of times. In your position if you want to give dd more hot foods other suggestions might be soup (decent cartons), part baked bread, frozen jacket potatoes with suitable topping. Crumpets/bagels/toasties. Or even cold main and a hot rice pudding or custard pot or similar.

I'd make bed more like 7. Then you get more of an evening.

What time do you have to leave in the mornings? We always do our reading and homework over breakfast (but we live near school and don't have to leave til 8.45 so appreciate we're lucky here)

We read in the morning before school

My 5 year old is too tired in the evening and mutinous, he's more than happy to do it after breakfast though and it's part of our routine

Homework is done at weekends and if there is not enough t time it doesn't get done. The school system is just not set up for working mums

When I was a single parent we would get home by 5:30, I'd start the dinner and do reading and spellings while it was cooking. Eat together, clean up kitchen while she had tv time, both had a bath/shower and both in PJs by 7sh. She would go to bed then and I would then have my evening x

Also a teacher and single parent!
My daughter is 10 now and I've found that later bedtimes help fit it all in....not much help for you currently though....
Some things that helped me when my daughter was a bit younger were:

30 mins reading at bedtime; 10 minutes reading from her and then 20 minutes reading from me
Batch cook 3 meals at the weekend and reheat. I'd freeze whatever wasn't used
Plenty of spare uniform so I only washed clothes at the weekend
Getting all our work/school stuff, clothes etc... ready the night before

I can't stress how much that last point helped me! Knowing everything was ready to go at 7am when we left the house made the mornings so much easier.

To be honest, I think your routine is absolutely fine. You may need to adjust it as time goes on but just focus on the day to day. I know how hard teaching is especially when you have your own child(ren).

I too worked long hours while DC were young. I actually found leaving work on time and taking work home with me easier. I decompressed on the way home, spend the evening with kids and would work for a couple of hours when they were in bed. I was more productive after a few hours "off" work in between.

How are your weekends? I know this is not quite what you asked for but here are some things I did on weekends which took the pressure off and gave me back some time for other things during the week:

Batch cook on Sat or Sun morning. Not only will you have a nice meal for yourself but no pots or pans to clean during the week.
Put her in front of the TV for an hour those mornings while you cook. Have the washer and dryer on the go during this time too. I got great satisfaction out of doing a few jobs at the same time!

Make up a load of sandwiches for her and freeze them. Take them out in the morning along with your own meal and stick in the toaster when you get in.

I only washed DC's hair on the weekend.

They have a quick bath every evening and I do my skincare in the bathroom while they bath. Always felt nice doing that one self care thing for myself every day.

I second getting plenty of spare uniform items. I put together 5x piles for each of us on Sundays so we have our clothes ready to go each day. I love being about to just grab a whole outfit quickly each morning rather than rooting through drawers!

Other ideas if you can:
Invest in a robo vacuum.
Use the dryer instead of faffing around with clothes airer.
Treat yourself to a cleaner even once a month.

50/55 hours is an awful lot, in there anyway you could cut it it down slightly?

I wouldn’t worry too much about her having a hot meal, just as long as it’s balanced.

Maybe try and spend more time with her during the weeknights and leave more of the housework for the weekend?

I agree that an hour of tv is maybe a bit too much, maybe limit it one episode as soon as you get in and that’s it?

We did the reading in bed

Do the homework at weekends? Don't they normally get a week to do it?

I suggest cooking earlier and eating together, then do your other jobs when you would have been cooking later on. Not that there's anything wrong with what you're doing but it might be nice to eat together? Reading can be done straight after eating. Maybe do a slightly later slightly shorter bedtime routine (I find it takes much less time if they are more tired!). Homework is usually once a week in reception so leave till the weekend

We have a similar schedule and a now Y1 kid plus a little one. What works for us is food at late play and a snack (eg cheese on toast, veg) if hungry when they get home. Often we tidy together - 10 minutes with music of their choice on which works really well. Bed time is quite drawn out as it’s really the only time we get to hang out, so we’re in bed for around 7:15 and then she reads, I read and we chat until 8. Chucking washing on a timer in the morning is the ideal too!

You high level object presumably(?) is some quality time with your DD so that first hour is therefore where you need to make the mark. (If not ignore the below 😅)

I think you need to tackle 3 things

1. defer your own wind down (take it 8-9 / 8.30-9.30
2. sort out food and aim to eat together (just learn to eat dinner early - think of it as intermittent fasting 😅)
3. work out how to maximise efficiencies

on point 1 i defer my decompression until 8/8.30 and take an hour to do sweet FA. I also use that first hour back to “set up” chores and cross off small ones

2 for food think combo of:
-batch cooking / leftovers and freezing
-slow cooker type meals either from fridge or freezer (I pre make a bag or raw bits and freeze it - then I can grab and dump it in of a morning)
-quick meals (scrambled egg on toast etc)

Eg if you have cottage pie portions and put them in the fridge Monday AM.. you get home 5 mins in microwave and you can sit together to talk about your day and eat at the table. She can then do arts and crafts or whatever and you bring in the laundry and fold it.

3
if we are in the living room - I give it a tidy while playing.
if in dining room - I’ll bring in a basket of laundry and sort it or pop off to put some laundry on as short cycle so it done by 8 and I can quickly hang before chilling out.
kitchen - I get Dd to help unload / load and stick it on if needed.

When it’s bedtime i often take Dds laundry up to her room and we put it away (or I do) while she continues to wind down and do bedtime (it’s a small job but rocks it off the list) I may also grab her laundry to bring down with me.

I’d aim for improvement not perfection it might be you settle on 30min tv 30mins eating and chatting as that works best

I think she’s coming up to the age where you can encourage her to play now by herself more, instead of the hour of tv. Or she can help you a bit on some days (putting away washing, dusting, that kind of thing?)

you could start tapering the tv down by ten minutes each month maybe.

she’ll be bored and whingy at first but has to go through that stage to learn how to entertain herself and get creative. Boredom is good :)

youre amazing by the way - you sound like a great mum x

Just something that popped into my head, could your daughter do some of the household tasks with you?

I don’t have kids yet so will prepare to be laughed at however, there is a great Instagram I follow SamKelly_World who claims her children have always helped with chores from a young age without being even asked. Maybe something to try. Could start small, like fixing some of her own snacks, get some children’s knives for her so she can learn to cut safely.., or putting away her own uniform and getting clean one ready for next day. At some point she’ll be able to wash her own face etc. if it’s not bath night? Or have a shower herself as it’s a bit safer to do alone. Maybe not now but it’s fascinating what they can do early on all by themselves.

Also, one of my favourite memories as a kid was helping my parents do things like gardening and cooking, TV I don’t remember but I remember the chats and learning, building of confidence in these small moments.
I used to nanny and one child used to shower himself, get into pj’s and as a reward he was allowed TV, he was a bit older for his age though.

Buy enough clothes so you only need to do the school clothes on the weekend. That'll give you the extra 15 mins you need to read with her, do homework on the weekends.

You only need to do a max 15mins with her and I would do this just before the bedtime routine.

The hour of TV is fine as it’s not like she’s glued to it all day.

I always had my DD read as part of her bedtime routine/homework and then I would read afterwards for her bedtime story.

Hopefully as she gets older, her bedtime routine will take less time.

I found audiobooks really useful as my DD wouldn’t sleep either.

She had a little lamp by her bed and could follow the words/look at the pictures in the book whilst the audiobook read the story.
This meant I didn’t have to stay with her as long and I used this time to do the housework etc.

I would get her to read a couple of pages, then I would finish it off and then I’d put an audiobook on.

We do a massive meal prep on a Sunday and generally do slow cooker bags ( so in the morning we can throw it all on and it’s cooked when we get home).

my 2 DD go to breakfast club and I tend to do an hour of work before the class arrive. I reduce my lunch break and do marking etc (or eat whilst I do!). It means I can leave at 4ish most days which really helps.

we’re home, have a dinner together and they have a half hour play whilst I do my bits. We do homework or reading. Bath, story, bed by 8.

It’s busy but works for us!

you're doing a great job. Took us ages to get into a rhythm and routine that works for us. It’s also forever changing due to after school activities 😂

Fellow teacher/single parent here so I feel your pain. Do you drive to and from school could she do reading in car? I honestly only manage because I dropped to part time less planning/marking and do housework, shopping etc on days off plus batch cook so there's dinners ready to heat up on work days. You could do small portions of things like bolognese, lasagne, cottage pie?
I know part time isn't affordable to all but I wouldn't manage otherwise worth considering if your daughter will want to do an activity after school too I am out 4 nights a week at various clubs, swimming lessons these have increased as my child has got older

I would say don’t do bath every night, it’s not necessary at that age unless she’s been painting/ outdoors a lot. You could always do a quick wash instead?

Snack meals are fine, also pasta and veg only take a few minutes. Or gnocchi, takes 3 minutes for example, if you wanted more hot meal ideas.

Read at bedtime, other homework over weekend or on the Friday you leave early. Or could you do homework on the commute, this would work if using public transport. If she ends up going to classes after school, swimming for example could you do work stuff then?

Also, a teacher friend of mine goes in early instead of staying late, would this work, then your daughter could do a breakfast club instead?

Is she going to your school? Sorry not read the full thread. Mine did and I read with them in the morning in my classroom before the breakfast club started. That worked as they were fresh.

Your routine sounds completely fine. Cut yourself some slack. I don’t get home til 6:15 – ain’t no way I’m doing homework then! My twins read to me for their bedtime routine. Other homework is for weekends.

Dont feel bad about the cooking at 5yrs old. She can have a cooked meal on Fridays and weekends. My twins only had a snacky dinner at that age too, as they ate a hot lunch and in after school club. Now they are almost 7 cooking a meal after school at 6ish feels like less of a big slog. It’s always something simple.

You’re doing absolutely fine.

I also put my laundry on overnight so it's ready to be hung in the morning. Enough uniform to only need to do once or twice a week. Get a cleaner.

I take my hat to you as a single Mum and FT teacher and you're doing a great job! Don't worry until it happens, most usually reading or some simple tasks. I know as a teacher we have our own work to do at night and easier said I know but try to prioritise and find ways to minimise it. Xx

Ours had homework every night in reception. It was pretty full on. A sheet of handwriting practice and then they had to practice their reading

We also work FT. Kids in ASC until 6pm.

We have a later bedtime. They did their handwriting practice at after school club. If they didn't, they did as soon as they came in whilst I prepared dinner or during breakfast.

Reading practice we did when she was in bed. We changed the bedtime routine to 7pm upstairs and read to us for 5-10 minutes. We read to them. Lights off 7.30pm. The nights they have baths and showers we would be slightly later and we would read together.