Parents of children who hate reading

Most children learn to read by sounding out and building up words, and this is how schools teach reading. However a small number of children don't find this easy or logical. My son couldn't do this, and had a harder time learning to read. He still can't 'build' words and he's 21! Maybe you read first and then he copies? Or play a game with the words on pieces of paper - can he find the words to put the sentence in order as you read it? Keep on with the reading experiences that he does enjoy x

I remember my son's teacher saying exactly this. She said read cereal boxes, The Beano, anything! He's an adult now that loves reading.

OP - I get your pain -there is not a thing I did not try, extra lessons , rewards, tears you name it I tried it. Dyslexia testing filters etc etc
Japanese comic books at around 10yrs were the first time I saw him voluntarily read a book but not often!
Blue filter glasses also helped( I was deeply cynical)

We have just done GCSES - predicted 3 and 4 in English Lang and Lit achieved an 8 and 9. I could have murdered him - response from him - i could read but I could not be bothered and I knew it drove you mad but you never yelled at me, so I tried even harder not to read infront of you!

Do not give up yet OP - most DCS get it!

Mine stopped reading school books quite early on, they are boring. They chose their own books to read instead and the teachers said that was fine.

My daughter was nowhere near reading at the start of year 1 - in fact it didn't really click for her until the end of year 2. But now, at the start of year 4 she's testing a grade ahead. I remember getting a few "teach your kid to read" books but she was so resistant that it made things worse, so I gave up and took all pressure off, and just kept reading to her lots. Two things helped her - having a friend a few months older who was further ahead in reading read to her from a picture book really motivated her to want to do it herself. Then, finding books she wanted to read. Try the Dogman books by Dav Pilkey. They're comic books, but so what? They're much more interesting than a reading scheme book! I would read at bedtime, then when she inevitably wanted me to keep going I would offer that she could do a page or two herself. It's so easy to say don't worry and compare to other kids, and so hard to implement! But just know there's plenty of time.

Ask if the teacher would give him 2 books in his bag and then he can choose which one he wants to read, giving him back a little bit of control and a bit of a choice.

Also if a sticker chart works for him then I'd just do that honestly.

I wouldn't be too strict about it as it coukd make him retract even further. Just try anything you can to help him that doesn't feel like 'boring school work'. Take him shopping and get him to read out your shopping list etc etc. With my 6 yo now I keep the subtitles on and he reads along to the news and allsorts. I find boys harder than girls to pick it up, you just need to find something that does interest him but then use that to say "if you read the 3 pages of your school book then we can sit and read 'whatever' together"
My eldest loved the Max Power magazine and would read it cover to cover from around 5/6, much more than any school book.

I really agree with this. It has to be driven by genuine pleasure in stories and reading.

I had a reluctant/lazy reader at Reception, Y1 and Y2. I never stopped reading to him, every opportunity. And I never ever forced him to read. When he did deign to read a few sentences I hugely praised him. The thing that really helped him though was a reading buddy at school. I guess this could be any adult prepared to sit regularly with a kid and listen to them read. It's harder to kick back against a grown up who isn't your mum or dad. Maybe another relative, a paid-teen, a cousin, a neighbour? Or, perhaps your school have a scheme like ours did. My little boy is upstairs right now kicking off because his dad is trying to stop him from reading and go the f**k to sleep...

This works pretty well - get him to read books he already knows, whether it's books you've read or audiobooks. It really helps give confidence.

I think because he’s so young you may need to use a reward system even if you don’t want to. Have you tried taking him to choose his own book?

reading can be done in many forms not just sat with a book follow five minute mum she had good ideas don’t punish if they don’t like it find a different approach,

My daughter wasn't keen to read. Turned out she's dyslexic and has an issue focusing her eyes too. Was a complete surprise to me, she'd passed her eye test and also passed her year 1 phonics screening (which was done late due to lockdowns).

Read with him. Find somewhere cosy and create a relaxed atmosphere then snuggle up together to do his reading. He reads a sentence, you read a sentence. You talk about the pictures. You might discuss what you think might happen next. Then he reads a whole page in his book or whatever comes naturally, with your encouragement. Then you reciprocate. When you read, point your finger to the words you are reading so he can follow along. Don’t make it onerous.

I hated the Biff and Chip series, there is a reading scheme called songbird phonics which is much better, the phonics sounds make so much more sense. He might like those better, I would definitely recommend The Songbird Phonics books.

I’m an English Lit uni lecturer and also have 5 DC. I absolutely detest school reading books. They are the most tedious, soul destroying things imaginable. What I recommend is not forcing any child to read them because they’re shit, find books they do enjoy and read those instead.

I also have a 5 yo who has just gone into year 1 and he loves reading because we read good books! More Michael Rosen, less Biff, Chip and Kipper I say!

I have been going into schools and helping with reading for many years and have 2 happy readers myself. Every child is different, and so long as they have a good reading experience I do whatever they want. For kids who aren't fluid readers we each read a page in turn, and if a child is reluctant, I will read to them and maybe ask questions. Kids with adhd like to talk about the book more than read, but it is all good reading comprehension.
The teacher could give you good advice, I am sure, but generally they should have a good time, to encourage them in the future. Even audiobooks (loads free on youtube) are great.

We had this with my daughter, tried bribery, rewards, everything, spoke to teachers for ideas. She was eventually diagnosed with dyslexia in year 3, once we moved school. Just something to consider. Good luck.

I used to pop a sweet in my daughters mouth after each line when she was sat on my lap. 🙈 Only like a chocolate button, that helped a lot.

Is he up to dare with his eye examinations too? Sometimes it can be they can't see as well, so that can make a big difference. I know a friends son really got on well with his reading when he got his new specs.

I used to pop a sweet in my daughters mouth after each line when she was sat on my lap. 🙈 Only like a chocolate button, that helped a lot.

Is he up to dare with his eye examinations too? Sometimes it can be they can't see as well, so that can make a big difference. I know a friends son really got on well with his reading when he got his new specs.

We forced our son when he was this age and it has led to a lifetime hatred of reading.

With our daughter we tried a different approach and read when and how much she wanted to, despite the school being all narky about it and threatening detention and marking her down.

School push it for data purposes only, but a love of reading comes from enjoyment and that can’t be nurtured through punishment and being forced.

Son is now 17 and won’t read a thing, daughter (13) has 3 or 4 books on the go at once!

It's very hard. DW and I have been voracious readers in the past, we both read a lot today and have literally thousands of books. Our DC read very little and we've been tearing our hair out. They just don't engage and with the reading scheme meaning they have to read each day in Primary school I think that to them, reading is seen as a chore. We've bought so many books for them and about 5% of them get read, the majority are started and the discarded in a weekend.