To tell friend that I won’t do this and why?

I was going to say I bet she's heard that Universities are prioritising non private school kids these days and has realised her mistake.

Tough.

I would tell her you’re too busy, but I agree that it’s wrong for a state school to discriminate against children based on choices their parents made. State schools should serve all children in their local area who wants a place. Distance criteria would be much more fair.

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld it's frankly weird that we still say sixth form. Just a throwback.

Every single child in the local area should be able to attend in principle. But it's totally fine for them to prioritise state kids. Else they could just flood the school leaving equally deserving kids disadvantaged. Private schools openly prioritise the privileged as their entire raison detre, so for someone to use private and then be disgusted at not being prioritised in the state system sounds ridiculous. Like try to have your cake and eat it.
Definitely just say you've got too many other projects on. Morally it's batty she should try and set up such a campaign.

Someone at work privately educated thier children un to 6th form then sent them state for 6th form.... (a selective one based on gcse results... one of the top in london) so that they and I quote "had a better chance of getting into a good uni as came.from a state school"

Therefore I think YANBU

I was quite shocked that thinking existed! Me and my rose tinted glasses! Felts bad for the comparatively "poor" child who didn't get a place because of that

I wouldn't tell her that you are morally opposed to private schools. I would absolutely, however, tell her that you support the state sixth form's decision, so won't be getting involved in her campaign.

@Phloopey totally lost me! in scotland we have primary 1 - 7 then secondary 1 - 6. my grandaughter went to a school which had form one to form 13. she is now at a school where it is L1 - L7 and form 1 - 6

DD went to a selective state secondary school. It was full of kids who'd been to private primary and whose parents had effectively bought them a place at the state school. Private primaries can coach for entrance exams, state schools can't.

This school's policy may be to avoid something like this and give talented children from disadvantaged backgrounds more opportunities. I don't see anything wrong with that.

It's not a 6th year, it's year 12 & 13. The name is a throwback to when the system was in "forms" with each form taking 2 years. They went through lower first, upper first, lower second etc all the way up.

When I went to senior school, the very youngest year group were the UIIIs (upper threes)

Awkward.

'I'm sorry I can't. I just don't have the time or bandwidth to do that right now'

& hope she doesn't press it!!

I’d just be direct. ‘Hi friend, I hear your frustration about this - but I feel differently about educational access. While I fully support all the choices you and your family have made, I can’t in all good conscience put my professional time behind this campaign.’

Don’t get drawn into an emotional debate about it. Just calmly say no thanks without digging into the details.

separately - as the mother of a clutch of children in the private sector - I am perpetually horrified by the outraged pearl clutching of other private school parents about access. We are paying literally hundreds of thousands of pounds other people don’t have for what we feel is an advantage for our. Children. It’s ok for them not to be at the very front of the queue for Every. Single. Thing.

hell. I’ll join your counter campaign. Your friend sounds excruciatingly un self aware.

I'm confused by your exaggerated confusion!

I would try a very clear "No sorry, I can't" first.

You may well end up talking about the reasons but it's worth a punt at getting your decision across without. You can always give more away later. Don't risk upsetting her/causing a rift unless you have to.

With any luck she will pick up on you not wanting to talk about why, and take you at your word. The more you say, the more pear shaped it can go.

Tell her you are too busy to get involved in this but suggest that she needs to speak to her local MP.

I don't suppose the local parent group will care much about her campaign anyway

@Itllfalloff in scotland unis pick the varied kids from postcodes. not sure if i have said that correcty/ if the are looking for diversity then they go via postcode thinking affluent parents wont live there and send their kids to local schools.

Yes A-levels are two year courses.

@Itllfalloff sending their kids to state for 2 years so sixth form takes 2 years????

Much too long winded and pompous.

This one is better:

Sorry Genevieve, I’m OK with the new policy so won’t be joining the campaign. Hope school is going well for Crispin and Leonora x”

@Itllfalloff I am not au fait with the english system but do the private schools not run their own 6th year like the ones in scotland??

I'd definitely not do it if she is doing it out of self interest. and yes it sounds as though the "contentious issues" reason would work for you.

I'd be honest with her but my friends and I have those types of relationships.

I think for me it would come down to how much I value our friendship. If you're worried it'll ruin it if you say something then I'd fudge it, if not I'd be honest.