To tell friend that I won’t do this and why?

Plus she thinks that using a state 6th form looks better on an UCAS form given the move to be more diverse in unis when it comes to kids backgrounds.

She sounds awful.

I agree that private school parents shouldn't be able to 'game the system' but what about those who are having to be pulled out of private schools because of the rise in VAT or those whose private schools may have to close down? I'm not saying they should necessarily get into this particularly prestigious 6th form but should previously privately educated children be blocked from attending any state 6th forms when that may be their only option to continue their education? Also I thought that it was now law that all children have to continue some form of education or training until the age of 18. If their parents can no longer afford private then how can they be legally excluded? I realise that the OP's friend does not fit into this scenario but there will be others who do. I have no skin in this game by the way, mine were state all the way a very long time ago.

There are an awful lot of currently privately educated children who will be moving to state schools once VAT kicks in. You can’t force parents who can’t afford the VAT to keep their kids in private for 6th form. If they can’t/won’t pay any longer, they will need - and are completely entitled to, a state school place.

she thinks that using a state 6th form looks better on an UCAS form given the move to be more diverse in unis when it comes to kids backgrounds.

@Itllfalloff Universities have grown wise to this and also check to see where the student has sat GCSEs. They know that a lot of parents try to game the system, so she is deluded to think she can get away with it.

Personally I think the decision is very unfair. Just because a parent can afford some
private education doesn’t mean their child should have to have private schooling all the way through.

But clearly you are not the right person to help . I would tell her your view so she doesn’t ask again or bore you with this issue but be prepared to lose her as a friend as you have such different takes on education.

@tulippa I absolutely think that any talented and able child should be admitted on merit and that children from disadvantaged backgrounds should have as many opportunities as possible.

If a child meets the academic criteria for admission, then those who meet the distance criteria should have priority. Everyone wants to give their child the best chance of success, but I don’t think it’s reasonable of the friend to pick the parts she wants, after rejecting them for years.

Yes, I agree with this tbh.

Absolutely fine to restrict it by postcode but to intentionally and specifically exclude private school pupils feels grossly unfair.

Not all children at private schools come from wealthy parents. There are plenty of kids who only get into private school because their parents seriously scrape by, maybe because their kids can't cope in state school with larger classes.

Maybe the family was well-off but aren't any more. Maybe another child in the family has just started secondary school and the fees are now out of reach.

And how about kids who were in private schools because of bursaries/scholarships - are they going to make exceptions for them?

Unless they do a financial assessment, they have no idea whether a family can continue to afford to send children to private 6th form, or whether the private education is causing financial hardship.

It's be like saying to someone who has BUPA healthcare that they're not allowed to use the NHS any more.

Just for reference, I couldn't afford private school for my DC no matter how much I scrimped and saved. And bless their hearts, they'd never get a scholarship. So I'm not defending my own choices here. I just find the nasty attitudes towards families who privately educate pretty appalling - they're not all champagne-quaffing wealthy snobs who deserve all the ills in the world, as seems to be constantly implied.

As for whether to own up, just come clean. If she gets involved in the campaign then she might ask again for help, or the subject may come up repeatedly. It could be awkward to have to come clean later - just say from the start that you're OK with their decision and leave it at that. No need to get into the details of why, just move the subject swiftly on.

Definitely be upfront with her or she’ll just keep asking if you’ve got 5 minutes to give her a hand with something.

Karma for putting her kids in private school. Just smile and say nothing opinionated.

I'd probably make an excuse and take the cowards way out!! 🍮

I would be upfront, you sound like you are full of useful information for this kind of campaign and if you are vague about reasons for not being fully involved she'll be popping around to 'pick your brains' just wanting some quick advice, or can you just put me in touch with this contact. You'll be forever pushing back.

Tell the truth.

In England we have Reception and years 1-6 in primary, then years 7-13 at secondary. Y12 and 13 are A Level. Pretty simple.

However, back in the day, the numbering used to start from scratch at secondary school, so 1st form to 5th form, followed by '6th Form', which was divided into 2 years - Lower 6th and Upper 6th. For some reason, Y12 and Y13 are still often referred to by the old names.

I would fudge it tbh and maybe even say you are doing some free work in your spare time for some other cause you are passionate about (save the bees whatever, make something up). Or if you tell the truth just say that you don’t think the schools’s decision is unreasonable in the circumstances. Make it about the wider context of the community rather than her and her kids.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable refusing to help on a campaign you don’t support. Absolutely tell her why though.

But that’s really poor of the college to exclude children. The parents presumably pay taxes and haven’t used the state provision for 8 years. They should be able to access the free college too.

Yes I gather that's common but calling two years of school "sixth form" is very weird to those of us not used to that system. It intuitively sounds like one year.

Just sticking up for PP who was confused!

I had lower 6th and upper 6th when I was at school doing my A levels.

Tell her it's not something up you want to be involved in since your child is at the school

In fairness to anyone not from England, NI or Wales (?), it's really weird! Sixth form sounds like one year, it's strange that that's not what it means.

@Pipecleanerrevival 's response is good, I was going to say similar, just say you don't have an issue with the policy rather than outright stating you support it.

And you want to stay friends with someone as grasping as this?!

I have have friends who sent their kids to private school - with predictable results - and we agree to disagree. They'd never dream of involving me in such a scheme.