To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

Red flags are personal things-it would certainly be a red flag for me!

It's not very nice,but I have often found that there is a reason why some people don't have friends

Yes, absolutely. I have severe ADHD and I find myself intimidated by female friendships because I really want them and I overanalyse them and I’m bad at them. It’s not that I am competitive with women or a ‘pick me’ or whatever other shit people are talking about, I would love a really close female friendship but that desire makes me hold back as I’m frightened of coming on too strong so I never get much closer than acquaintances. It makes me so sad.

Men’s friendships are easier because I don’t care as much. Although now I’m married I don’t bother with them any more either really.

I’m not a red flag, I’m just messed up. Maybe that’s a red flag though.

Reading these responses really upsets me.

Agreed, as a woman who had a very late adhd diagnosis, I typically struggle to make and maintain friendships with women, couldn’t understand why, felt judged a lot and was subject to a lot of bullshit like this.

Post diagnosis, I’ve found a group of equally ND women who are among my greatest allies.

I firmly think these judgements are rooted in barely disguised misogyny.

Quite honestly this board is a really good example of all of those negative traits.

That's very brave of you to say because you're on MN so must be all those things.

Whereas I've been bullied by men and find them to be just as spiteful and backbiting as women are purported to be. It seems as though generalising falls apart under scrutiny.

When you just don't care what other people think of you it can be empowering.

I agree.

It’s a bit of a personal red flag for me - I am a woman’s woman / girls girl - always have been. Am not hugely stereotypically ‘girly’ and I’m married to a great man. I have zero issues with men - I just generally prefer the camaraderie / humour / safety / emotional relationality of women. I love my female friends.

If I meet women who announce they don’t have female friends because of a problem with women then I’m on my guard.

obviously if someone doesn’t have female friends here YET because they’ve recently arrived int he country / escaped from a difficult relationship its very different.

if someone goes through friends / ditches people quickly and doesn’t have long standing friends despite a stable living situation - then I think it’s worth being a bit wary regardless of their sex or gender

Surely it depends on how many friends they have. I mean, if you have 200 friends and they are all men, that's a bit off. But if you only have three friends and they are men, then that's not as strange. It likely just means you've only connected with those three people and they just happen to be men.

I have more male friends than female. I work in a male dominated industry and I have a male dominated hobby.

I do have female friends though and some very close ones. But a lot of women I don’t have much in common with as I’m not girly in any respect. I have more in common with guys I suppose which is why I probably have more male friends as I meet more males.

My best friend is also male.

I don't really have friends due to social anxiety and working unsociable hrs in a male dominated industry.
I'm awaiting an assessment for ADHD autism and agree I find male relationships easier.
They say what they mean and mostly get over things quicker so as far as colleagues go I would find men easier than women.
I know some men who gossip yet for the most part don't judge like the women I know.

It's okay if you don't have friends, but it doesn't seem okay if a woman has only male friends or if a man has only female friends. If I came across someone like that, I'd unfortunately assume she might have some flaw in her character because the probability is she wouldn't be my friend either, and I wonder why.

I’m also autistic and find I naturally make friends more easily with men. A lot of the sharing and emotional intimacy with women is challenging for me. But I do have women friends, some very close ones. I’m happily married and don’t fancy any of my male friends, nor do I have any reason to believe they are attracted to me but I do just find it easier to make friends with men. I don’t go around announcing that, but if that makes me a ‘red flag’ I don’t really care.

This is so trye and I think school kids would so often benefit from hearing it. You won't always find your tribe at school/ in your home town and that's fine.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that though. I certainly have no such opinion.

I think that when women only have male friends because they think "men are easier/less bitchy/less drama" etc it's based on misogynistic ideas about women as the very idea that you couldn't be friends with an entire sex is a red flag that the person sees all women as the same. (Except them of course)

Quite honestly this board is a really good example of all of those negative traits. The number of posters (who are predominantly female) who rush to post their narrow-minded judgements about other women (predominantly) every time there is one of those 'unpopular opinions' cesspit threads. A recent one was about what is and isn't 'posh' and it's never lighthearted, it's usually rancid before being deleted.

I don't crave company of women, even my friends (I have two that I would do most things for and that's enough), I wouldn't ever socialise in a group of women (or men/women). Men certainly have their idiosyncrasies but I don't find spite to be one of them. I have one good male friend.

We're all different. I don't care how many women would 'red flag' me (when did that ever become a verb?) or would look askance at me. When you just don't care what other people think of you it can be empowering.

That's pretty sexist...there are plenty of women doing "masculine" things. Not all women are meeting up to apply make up and go clothes shopping

Oh you are so self confident that you understand totally ?

Yeah - that's called making assumptions and you don't even notice you doing it

And that tend to be associated for me with people who make a lot of assumptions, including those about gender ...

I have social anxiety and really struggle to make friends, so I find any kind of judgement around friendships problematic to be honest. You have absolutely no idea what someone may be going through that might make it difficult to make friends with certain people or with anyone at all. Isn’t it enough that I have to live with a mental illness that makes me constantly isolated and lonely without people making out that it makes me a bad person too? In my opinion people who make this type of comment should be grateful they don’t have any social issues and stop bullying those who do.

I don't have many friends, full-stop. It is a red flag that I'm quite boring.

My friends are mostly male. I’ve been very happily married for 17 years. Can you explain why I’m a red flag please?

I once mentioned that I previously had a lot of male friends and found that I naturally gelled a bit easier with men (as part of a discussion).

I got accused of being a 'pick me' girl and flirting, and being against women and a red flag. I also said something similar on Mumsnet and everyone completely piled on.

I've since found out I have probable autism, and have also learned that female autistic brains have more in common with male neurotypical brains, and the style of communication for autistic females is more similar to neurotypical males on average than it is to neurotypical females.

So the barrier to communication with other women is real, and the difference I've felt all my life is not something I've necessarily invented.

I'd say, stop being judgemental and don't assume you know everything about everyone.

But if you were in a friendship which you distanced yourself, surely they're not women who don't have female friends. They had you.

Its a blanket statement, you could easily extrapolate either way. It doesn’t say ‘no female friends but lots of male friends’. As it stands, the statement would include women who struggle to maintain any friendships and it is that which I take issue with.

I think it’s more of a red flag for women to talk about “ friendship groups”

It so high school- ish and cliquey.

No, I know exactly the type of woman who makes sweeping statements about having no female friends and only getting on with men.
The fact these women say it to other women tells me all I need to know about them.
Tedious indeed.