To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

Completely agree @Thepeopleversuswork These are often the same people who will complain they don’t have any friends when they need some help due to their partner dying, leaving or mistreating them.

I guess each to their own but I think it’s pretty sad.

And a bit defeatist too because I get the impression some people who think like this deep down don’t believe they can find and maintain a healthy friendship.

I’ve said it before on this thread and elsewhere but I would far prefer people to only have male friends than not have friends at all.

I find the trend towards stubborn pride in not having friends other than your husband and family really disturbing. There are people who for various reasons struggle with friendships for whom I have sympathy.

But people who say they have their husband and that’s all they need really worry me. It’s utterly bizarre that people could not only be comfortable with this but actually advertise it.

If you prefer the company of blokes to chat with about football or gaming or whatever knock yourself out. Female friendships aren’t mandatory. I happen to think they are life enhancing but I can see they don’t work for everyone. I couldn’t care less who people hang out with, what sex they are and what they chat about as long as they have people outside the family who have their backs.

But convincing yourself that the healthy way to live involves shutting our everyone other than your spouse, children and siblings is really dysfunctional. We are not meant to live like this and for most people this leads to an isolated and unsatisfying life.

I am of the opinion that it depends on whether-

They struggle to make any friends, isolated, vulenrable, have no friends - they arent a red flag

They have views as stated by others that they are superior to being friends with other women, or will only be friends with men - I don't like this and I think these people have underlying issues, and they do tend to resolve through age and being healthier and happier. I know friends who have talked about being this way in the past and how insecure they were as a result of bullying and so isolised male friendships. I think we all learn sometimes that some of the men were never simply to be 'our friend' and want to get the goods.

Wow, 200 friends is a lot.

“However I imagine this comment is more directed to the type of women who say "I just get on better with men." "Women are too bitchy" etc. Which personally I do feel is a massive red flag as they clearly have some internalised misogyny”. Working in an office with bitching, moaning, backstabbing, two faced women can do that to you. 😂 I’ve gotten on better with men in that environment. Thankfully I’m out of it now and it was a very long time ago.

I work with someone who doesn’t shun women at all, but she’s really into her footie and rugby, she plays it, goes to matches. None of her friends do so she will naturally just speak to men about it, I personally can’t stand sport. A few of us occasionally go to the cinema together, but I find it difficult to have a conversation with her as it’s always bloody sport related, some of the other girls play tennis, go running etc. She’s lovely and definitely not a red flag.

I’ve always had mostly female friends outside of work, there have been male friends (nothing romantic).

I have lots of female friends now as at my my age many are divorced and their kids are grown up so lots of time to play sport/socialise etc and not actively seeking exclusive coupledom.
I have one ‘friend’ who is hard work. She has no other female friends and periodically decides to ghost me. I just get on with my life and don’t get into any drama. She is 69, but has a superiority complex and thinks she is irresistible to men, but is is obsessively on dating sites and looking for ‘the one’ and is quite dismissive of other women. Her only other interests are constantly decorating her home and going her garden -solitary activities.
I feel sorry for her and see her from time to time but think she would have a far more fulfilled life if she spent more time nurturing female friendships that seeking the elusive man who will complete her life.

99% of my close friends are male. I'm absolutely not a "pick me" girl. I'm happily married, and all but one of my male friends are married or in long term relationships. I have limited contact with their partners and they're all happy for me to be friends with their husbands. I'm not a threat.

I have a "typically" male hobby and interests, so naturally, I mainly socialise with men. I've always been the same - in school, uni, and in my first job I was the only woman on a team of 23 men. It was just the way it was. I certainly don't profess to be "one of the lads". I can't stand sport of any kind and I don't drink. I'm not "laddy". It has just fallen that way. (not saying all men are drunk football hooligans either 😂).

I do have a couple of close female friends, who are fantastic. If someone is nice to me and we get on well, then I'm happy to be friends with them. I don't care if they're male or female. If you're a woman in a male-dominated environment, why wouldn't you be friends with some of your acquaintances?

I find it more of a red flag if a woman is judging another woman for who they're mates with.

I think this is very true, it is in my experience.

It's women that help other women though when they really need it.
Men don't.

Sounds like confirmation bias to me. I'm assuming that you talk about other people so assume all women do.

Internalised misogyny is the belief in negative stereotypes about women which you're doing by saying all women talk about others and are therefore bitchy. To call a woman a bitch is mysoginist, never mind smear all women with the same flaws. I find it unbelievable that you've never encountered a man that has talked about other people. Some of the biggest gossips I know are men.

I much prefer male compact than female.
I do have several circles of female friends whom I love very much.
However, I prefer male company.. I'm married so it's not too flirt or for attention, just cause it's less hassle

In my experience, they don't make good friends.
I befriended a girl with no friends and she royally shit on me.
She had no idea how to be a friend!
So In future, I will not entertain a friend in any female that had no friends, no training 👊

Good for you for having boundaries and going where you found good company. So many people would have tried to make the bullies like them. I actually think women do talk about each other way more than they'd admit to also, even the 'nice' ones so the bitchy observation is correct not necessarily an internalised misogyny thing.

One of my neighbours makes me chuckle.
She'll go out of her way to talk to a man, any man.
Always, looks away when a woman is out on the street.

If I socialise with people and have coffees and nice chats, are they friends or acquaintances? But for me, this completely fills any desire for anything more with other people outside of my husband and DC. I used to have more time and had friends generally though in younger days! I am in the trenches right now working, DC is a toddler, visiting family on weekends, housework, running errands - I’m pretty busy like many other people. But I always make time for MN.

Nobody here can speak to anybody else's lived experience so I don't know where the defensiveness and 'get off my board!' is coming from, it's ridiculous.

We have our individual reasons for friendships. If there is a negative experience from engaging with a group of women (or men), it might well colour somebody's propensity (or lack of it) for engaging again.

Birds of a feather and all that, leave people to make the friendships they do without judging them or their reasoning. Again, it's women - not all women - but certainly some women overthink other people's actions and choices but to what end? Perhaps men (not all but some) are not very deep, or they just don't care?

Live and let live is such an underrated principle.

I am a walking red flag. I am also high functioning autistic. I grew up with brothers and I also did a hobby that traditionally attracts males, so my social time outside of school was also with boys and men.

Girls bullied and excluded me at school for being ‘different’. So rather than trying to fit in or figure them out, it was easier to hang out with the boys.

Today I have female friends and I am in a stable monogamous relationship. I still struggle to relax and be my authentic self in female company.

Sorry, what on earth? This is like telling a child "so what if you got scratched by a cat, don't you know there are dogs out there who bite people? Now go and pick up that cat to prove that you're not a horrible cat-hater!".

Trauma is trauma, and your lack of empathy here is shocking.

Thanks.

I never would've believed it either. 21yo me would've argued with my current self till the cows came home.

I don't think the poster is saying worse, just that women are impactive in their own way when it comes to such heinous crimes. I work in the justice system and I have focused solely on women's abuse of men in the past and the poster has a really valid point, one I never would have believed without seeing it for myself time and time again.

Why would you say that?

Women aren't worse. This isn't about blaming one sex. My whole point is that the blame game achieves nothing and both sexes should work together against the violent minority of both sexes.

But yes men commit 98% of sex crimes whilst women commit the majority of child abuse (usually the mother) and according to most studies commit similar/maybe slightly higher levels of DV.

Neither sex is perfect so rather than this endless merry go round of blaming that feminists seem to love we should actually accept that we need to work together as members of the same society.

🤣

It is all hilarious. Surely none of this is that deep. Just everyone be friends with who you want 🤷

And 98% of ALL sex crimes are committed by men. But apparently, women are still worse?

Is she with very feminine partner or more masculine? The dynamic can be different in intimate relationships, maybe she got along with men more because she herself has more masculine traits and can relate to straight men?