To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

Well this post is eye opening!
I am one of "those" women. no I'm not after your partner/hubby/SO.

I'm not misogynistic, but I've had awful betrayals from female friends in the past. My main hobby is video gaming, and I play board games too. I'm an Engineer for work. Is it surprising that I get on so much better with guys, and that I prefer the company of like minded folk...who are guys. Find me some female friends who will tell it like it is, share my interests and will put in some effort to maintain a friendship and I'll be there. I'm yet to find a Rosetta stone of female friendship - I've found it several times in men.

I just want a friend who's not got an agenda, not competing with me, not threatened by me, and will put an equal share of effort into the friendship (call me as often as i call them for example.)

Please tell me the red flags that "I prefer male friends" gives off?
Is nerdy? yes.
Socially awkward? yes
On the pull? hell no - friendzone for a reason!
bad experiences? yes.

I'd love to know what vibe i'm giving off that makes women back away and guys come talk to me too.

Yes, that's true, I do charge my energy by being alone (or with DH and the kids). I don't need friends because all my emotional and social needs are being met by my family. I have never had one friend who actually just liked me for me, they always wanted something from me. Pushed my boundaries and used me.

Once I reached a certain age I stopped trying to please people. If people don't like me for who I am rather than what I can do for them it says more about them than me.

@KendraTheVampyrSlayer

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

I am a bit of both. I am fairly socially confident but I don’t particularly enjoy big crowds and gatherings and prefer intimate conversations.

I knew that was going to come up and I knew someone was going to say they don’t need friends because they are an introvert.

It’s a complete misconception of what introversion is. Introverts need friends too. They are not people who “hate people” or don’t need friends. They are people who charge their energy by being alone.

This sounds like it was written by someone really jaded and no partner in life. Probably sexist and abusive.

The people here who are disagreeing with you - I normally find them to be the easily jealous type and therefore will project that onto women whom have male friends only.

At the end of the day, it is not up to anybody which friends you choose to have whether male, female, non-binary etc

My DD has no female friends and one male friend. she is extremely shy and not good with small talk. there's nothing wrong with her, but she's very quiet and most of the girls she went to school with are more talkative and chatty and she's not that type.

I guess I’m a huge red flag then 😅

Totally agree, what's more, does it really matter that some women don't have female friends? Personally I don't think it does really.
Equally, does this mean that men who don't have male friends are a red flag too? I think not.

Because the opinions of MRAs are rarely based in reality. You only have to look at crime statistics to see that men are considerably more violent than women.

As per my previous post, this depends on who's 'judging' (for want of a better word).

As a woman, I feel I've always been encouraged to be strong, ambitious and independent... by both men and women (whether it's family, friends, colleagues or bosses) who possess those same qualities. Hands down, the two biggest supporters in my entire life were/are male.

Hands down, the only people who have 'sneered at' me and expected me to 'fit in and conform' have been insecure, unambitious, jealous people of BOTH sexes. Funny that...

But if those opinions are based on their own life experience, who are you to say otherwise?

This! 👏👏

Yeh cos men never say awful things about women

Yeah, there’s a part of me thinking the things being said in this thread by a lot of women are why some women would rather hang out with men more!

I’m suspicious of anyone who only has friends of either sex tbh.

I agree.

In my entire life my DH is the only person (apart from my dds) who has ever "got me". I'm weird, and quirky and socially awkward and tactless and say the wrong thing a lot of the time. I find social interactions emotionally draining. He's the only person who has ever bothered to look past the exterior and seen the real me.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

In my case it wasn’t harder, it was much, much, easier. He’s a very kind and understanding person. He doesn’t think I’m weird, he just accepts me as I am. I think I just got lucky as I’ve never felt like I could truly relax around anyone, not even family. Marriage hasn’t been an emotional rollercoaster for me (over 10 years on now).

@nomud

I agree it’s no one’s place to tell someone how many friends they should have.

I think what I find baffling (and I have said this before on here), is that it’s so much harder to form a romantic bond like a marriage than a friendship. If you have gone through the emotional rollercoaster of building a marriage why can’t you do the same thing with a friendship, which is far lower risk?

Yes this is my experience unfortunately. No qualms about targeting other women's partners and open about doing so.

Regarding women who only have their husband for a friend, I only have my husband for a friend, and have been judged for it. ‘Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket’, etc. I understand that but for some of us, even having one friend is a miracle. He’s my best friend and I’m grateful for him everyday. I think it’s likely true as PPs said that for those women who say you shouldn’t have friends once you’re married, maybe they feel ashamed of not having friends and are using that as a defence mechanism. It does make you feel like a reject. Regardless, I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to tell someone how many or how few friends they should have. We don’t know what someone has been through or what kind of struggles they have.

I know🙄

Oh FFS.

@Rollorock

And a bit defeatist too because I get the impression some people who think like this deep down don’t believe they can find and maintain a healthy friendship.

Possibly. In some cases it’s obviously denial because they are people who struggle with friendships and you can usually tell this a mile off. I have more sympathy with this as it’s a defence mechanism.

What really scares me though is this pose some people on here take that friendship is somehow an unnecessary indulgence if you have a spouse, something you should give up when you get married. There’s a sense with these sorts of that it’s an immature thing which you ought to grow out of. This is not only incredibly self harming it’s damaging for society at large.

Friendship, of whatever form it takes and with a person of any sex, is hugely life affirming and can in some cases save your life. Anyone who thinks that can be wholly replaced by having a spouse is dangerously deluded.

If you reverse the statement and met a man who only had female friends how would you view him? If it’s a red flag then the statement you’re complaining about is accurate, if not then you’re right in not liking it.

It's a fairly meaningless generalisation and not worth all this thought to be honest.