To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

But you're making a massive generalisation based on the fact that you work in an office with unpleasant female colleagues. If I based my general ideas about men on my immediate colleagues, I would think it was a general male 'rule' to replace a wife of your own age with one of your postgraduate students, and to start having a second family, so you have toddlers in your mid-fifties who are around the same age as your grandchildren from your original family.

You have, by your own admission, few female friends. I have lots. None of them, nor my sisters, aunts, numerous female acquaintances, cousins, colleagues, fellow-volunteers, would engage in the kind of behaviour you describe, because they're not idiots.

I am one of "those" women. I'm autistic and get on better with men. There's a theory that autism is a hyper masculine brain.

I love my fellow women and am a feminist.

For the obtuse banging on about rape, cat-calling, etc. as some sort of gotcha (which it really isn't), no woman is going to knowingly be friends with a man who indulges in that grotesque behaviour.

You mean me. You think I'm being obtuse, which is ironic.

You misunderstood my point. People were complaining about having experiences of being bullied by women or women being spiteful. I pointed out that men cat call, harass, sexually assault and abuse women, which would be considered bullying and spiteful behaviour but they're still friends with men.

Men frequently display bullying and spiteful behaviour but aren't all tarred with the same brush. They seem to be treated as individuals rather than one homogeneous mass who all act the same.

100% agree, all men cheat is another one. The dismissal of ND women is out of order, I don't think people understand how difficult it is for a ND person to navigate the dynamics of typical female relationships so they opt out leaving them with men by default to be friends with. Theres no hierarchy or competition or comparison, men are just different - that's all. It isn't a slight against women.

I make a conscious effort to never ever talk about anyone which leads to me basically being silent at work, as all of the women in my office constantly slag each other off including people they say they're close to. For example, last week one asked another colleague how to sack her bridesmaid because she was piling on weight. I later saw a post online of them doing bridesmaid preparations together with a bottle of wine. So tbh, I think it's fair enough to observe that women bitch about each other. Also, again I never have that problem with men at work. I've seen them get worked up with each other but it's direct and objective, not about stuff like a bridesmaid putting on weight. Fwiw no I'm not massively obsessed with all these men and therefore ignoring their negative traits, I'm very in love with my husband but can't help that men are a lot nicer to be around at least in my life and where I am. I do have good female friends also, still doesn't change my view on the whole.

Out of interest if you were to answer me honestly, are you quite bitchy about other women?

@Closetheblinds " Strong, secure and confident women only for me"

And this means you have limited women friends? Blimey.....

Men are 'tarred with the same brush' all the time. Several threads on here exhibit that, perfectly. "Why can't men see the dirty dishes?". "Why do men blah blah, why are men, blah blah".
It happens all the time.
It's also notable that we have heard quite a bit from posters here who default to women who don't like women being after everybody's man. They meet two women who did that and that's every single woman who has more male than female friends. Not to mention the massive internalised misogyny of the OW being the one to blame.
I completely respect that women who have been the subject of abusive behaviour from men may not be comfortable with having male friends and this definitely happens. I don't think anybody would argue with that. That's the sort of occasion where a NAMALT comment would not be appropriate or welcome. So why do we think NAWALT is appropriate when someone talks about the women in their life who treated them badly? Why do we think it is appropriate to dismiss ND posters who feel more comfortable conversing with men? If somebody said they found it hard to talk to men because of ND, I bet there would be a lot more understanding.

Sounds like confirmation bias to me. I'm assuming that you talk about other people so assume all women do.

Internalised misogyny is the belief in negative stereotypes about women which you're doing by saying all women talk about others and are therefore bitchy. To call a woman a bitch is mysoginist, never mind smear all women with the same flaws. I find it unbelievable that you've never encountered a man that has talked about other people. Some of the biggest gossips I know are men.

No, I haven't. But it's your prerogative to keep repeating that whilst making the same point nobody actually misunderstood.

I'm not repeating myself again. You've misunderstood what I've said and that's your prerogative.

Men are 'tarred with the same brush' all the time. Several threads on here exhibit that, perfectly. "Why can't men see the dirty dishes?". "Why do men blah blah, why are men, blah blah".
It happens all the time.
It's also notable that we have heard quite a bit from posters here who default to women who don't like women being after everybody's man. They meet two women who did that and that's every single woman who has more male than female friends. Not to mention the massive internalised misogyny of the OW being the one to blame.
I completely respect that women who have been the subject of abusive behaviour from men may not be comfortable with having male friends and this definitely happens. I don't think anybody would argue with that. That's the sort of occasion where a NAMALT comment would not be appropriate or welcome. So why do we think NAWALT is appropriate when someone talks about the women in their life who treated them badly? Why do we think it is appropriate to dismiss ND posters who feel more comfortable conversing with men? If somebody said they found it hard to talk to men because of ND, I bet there would be a lot more understanding.

For the obtuse banging on about rape, cat-calling, etc. as some sort of gotcha (which it really isn't), no woman is going to knowingly be friends with a man who indulges in that grotesque behaviour.

You mean me. You think I'm being obtuse, which is ironic.

You misunderstood my point. People were complaining about having experiences of being bullied by women or women being spiteful. I pointed out that men cat call, harass, sexually assault and abuse women, which would be considered bullying and spiteful behaviour but they're still friends with men.

Men frequently display bullying and spiteful behaviour but aren't all tarred with the same brush. They seem to be treated as individuals rather than one homogeneous mass who all act the same.

You seem to have taken over this thread Overbearingndn. I didn't misunderstand your point, it was simple enough. I was making a different point to the one you were making, and I don't necessarily agree with your views. My male friends are not spiteful and don't rape or cat-call and my female friends are not spiteful. I don't assume that people are too stupid to have friendships, of either sex, where these are factors.

We could of course put NAMALT and add NAWALT either but I'm not going to. Men and women can be spiteful. I made a point about the MM thread which is a festering example of female spite. I'm not going to go looking for a thread full of male bile but you feel free.

I completely agree with this. The current thread about MM and trademark failure is full of women gleefully rubbing their thighs at the hoped-for downfall of a woman that they don't even know. There is something very wrong with that.

I'm no fan of the royal family at all but those nasty threads are allowed to stand forever.

For the obtuse banging on about rape, cat-calling, etc. as some sort of gotcha (which it really isn't), no woman is going to knowingly be friends with a man who indulges in that grotesque behaviour. Likewise, many women will not want to associate with the type of woman on the MM threads here. I definitely wouldn't.

There are marked differences in friendships and women (or men) are allowed to find and associate with the people they accord with, and they're free to do that without censure from anyone else.

I think it’s because people act on their own personal experience of friendships with men and women rather than statistics. And most people have some friends of both sexes as they get older.

I would not see myself as having much in common with a poster like @Donsyb for example. And sadly these kinds of judgemental attitudes towards other women are common. You only have to read the threads on this board about women like Meghan Markle to see that dynamic in action. No thanks.

You believe the sexes have different brains? Not that you've a woman and therefore think like a woman, but have a masculine brain.

I am one of "those" women. I'm autistic and get on better with men. There's a theory that autism is a hyper masculine brain.

I love my fellow women and am a feminist.

I've been discussing this kind of thing across two threads.

On the one hand, I preferred playing with boys when I was a girl and still have difficulty knowing how to interact with other women. On the other hand, the fact that I preferred playing with boys when I was a girl led me into danger: my mother warned me about strange men; unfortunately, she didn't warn me about our neighbours' sons.

When I was a little girl, I thought that we were all part of one big happy gang à la Enid Blyton. In fact, the older boys were grooming us. I was "part of the gang"; another girl was the gang leader's "girlfriend".

I was 7; she was 8. The "gang leader" was at secondary school.

ETA Until I wrote this comment, I'd quite forgotten about the other girl having the "status" of "girlfriend". That was 57 years ago.

I'm sorry you live in a place akin to Stepford where all the women have only a handful of dull interests. It must be very difficult.

I'm wondering how many of the women who prefer men because they're so much more straightforward forward and less spiteful have been cat called or harassed, sexually assaulted or experienced domestic abuse. Survivors of abuse will tell you precisely how spiteful and bullying their abuser was

Maybe I should also have said I find it hard to relate to women that talk fashion and makeup then rather than I find it hard to relate to women. Alas the vast majority of women I tend to encounter fall in this category though. I’m well aware that I’m a woman and that there are many others that don’t conform to the fashion and makeup stereotype. They are like rocking horse shit around here though, hence I tend to end up with mostly male friends.

There are many other factors as well of course, like most of the school mums are younger than me so are at different life stages. They’ll politely say hello back in passing but won’t “talk” to me. There’s only 1 mum that does have a prolonged conversation with me and she’s a similar age to me and similarly been put in the “hello in passing” box by the others so I’m wondering if subconsiously we have gelled more due to that.