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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

316 replies

Newlifeincoming · 04/09/2024 15:47

I saw a comment recently that said “women who don’t have any friends that are women are red flags. I don’t care what anyone says.”

I find this a bit troubling and potentially judgemental.

AIBU for thinking that this perspective is unfair and doesn’t account for individual circumstances or preferences? What do you think about this kind of statement?

OP posts:
AsYouWiiiiiiiiiiiiish · 04/09/2024 15:59

I would say that in the vast majority of cases it is a huge red flag and I would expect some internalised misogyny to make its appearance rather quickly.

Original poster
Newlifeincoming · 04/09/2024 15:59

Oh sorry if I wasn’t clear. Yes I definitely agree about pick-me women and women who say they don’t like women etc or those kind of comments or get on with men better. I guess I found it a blanket statement. I’ve always had close female friends, but there were times I felt out with my girlfriends and didn’t have friends for a bit, or cut bad friends out of my life so didn’t have any female friends for a bit, and made new friends. So unless it’s clear as to what we all seem to agree here about women who boast about not having female friends for example, or that they don’t like women etc, I don’t think it’s a red flag. I also didn’t announce I didn’t have any female friends ha and deffo wanted to make new girlfriends when friendship groups dispersed for example.

OP posts:
Alwayssuspicious · 04/09/2024 15:58

Any statement that begins " all" or "everyone" or who assumes "a one size fits all" view point is ridiculous. We are all individuals.
In this case the statement is even more ridiculous because there is no context.

nomud · 04/09/2024 15:58

As an autistic female, I have found it very difficult to make female friends of my own age. I think I just don’t get some kind of social cues that are expected of me but which I am clueless to. Women whom are older than I am are more accepting of me but this isn’t something I found out until I was older myself. Men have always accepted me but it’s hard to 100% feel like it’s for me or because given the chance, they would have liked to be more than friends.

If it’s what PP poster said about judgments about all women, then yes I would guess internalised misogyny as well. It’s sadly not that uncommon.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/09/2024 15:58

I think it depends on the woman. If she has few friends male or female, she might just not have the best social skills, but be a decent person. If she has stereotypically masculine interests and all her friends are from fishing and metal detecting (so male) I would probably think she just doesn't meet a lot of like minded women.

MidwichCuckoo · 04/09/2024 15:57

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 04/09/2024 15:51

Its not nice to tar everyone with the same brush.

However I imagine this comment is more directed to the type of women who say "I just get on better with men." "Women are too bitchy" etc. Which personally I do feel is a massive red flag as they clearly have some internalised misogyny.

I wouldn't think the same thing about someone who had no female friends due to moving a long distance and simply not having been able to make friends yet.

I agree

Josette77 · 04/09/2024 15:56

I kinda agree.

If a woman tells me she has no female friends I wonder why...

LoobyDoop2 · 04/09/2024 15:55

Depends on the reason for it, doesn’t it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/09/2024 15:55

Do they have male friends or no friends?

I agree with @TheNameIsDickDarlington that women who say those sorts of things tend to have an issue that means there’s a reason they struggle to get on with other women.

Mrsttcno1 · 04/09/2024 15:54

I have to say I agree with it and it’s always proven true in my experience

Livelaughlurgy · 04/09/2024 15:53

I suppose how do you know a woman has no women friends? A woman who tells you she has now women friends is probably a red flag.

GermanBite · 04/09/2024 15:52

What kind of circumstances or preferences do you have in mind op?

I think it is a red flag when women say they only have male friends because women don't like them or because they just prefer men.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 04/09/2024 15:51

Are you married to a man whose name begins with H?

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 04/09/2024 15:51

Its not nice to tar everyone with the same brush.

However I imagine this comment is more directed to the type of women who say "I just get on better with men." "Women are too bitchy" etc. Which personally I do feel is a massive red flag as they clearly have some internalised misogyny.

I wouldn't think the same thing about someone who had no female friends due to moving a long distance and simply not having been able to make friends yet.

Newpillow · 04/09/2024 15:50

Is it just one person's opinion?

IlooklikeNigella · 04/09/2024 15:49

I mostly agree with the statement so yabu.