To ask for your ideas for “date nights” without babysitting?

You can get murder detective kits which look good fun

Me and DH opened a bottle of wine and drew portraits of each other. That was good fun and we had a good laugh about it

Talk - I know it sounds odd but just sitting and talking when the kids are in bed with no tv or phones or other distractions is lovely

Lovely thread !

go to bed when the kids do and listen to the bbc 3 proms in bed. Makes you feel grown up.

A game you both like instead of TV. E.g Scrabble, it's nice because you can hang out, bit if chit chat, but without need to 'talk'.

Candles, nice music and a massage, cheesy but very pleasant. Again, talking optional.

One person reads to the other? Works well if one person is the more confident reader, and text is a shared interest to be discussed for a bit after.

We loved the murder mystery kits, took us two nights to complete with nibbles and a glass of wine.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09DCYBNJG/ref=sspa_mw_detail_0?ie=UTF8&psc=1&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9kZXRhaWwp13NParams

If you manage to wangle a free day while the children are at school see if you can book a day use hotel in your area. You can book some hotels from eg 9-5 for a lot less than an overnight stay and in many cases have access to the pool and other facilities as well as your room.

When you do get a babysitter send them to the cinema / bowling / skating whatever there is near you. Set a time they cannot be back before.

DO a nice meal, either a take away or cook, set the table, light candles and make sure the TV is off.

Correction: She would accept nothing more than magazines and the occasional editing of her daughter’s A-level assignments.

Escape room kit, adult Lego - spice meal subscription and phone ban
my dc are grown up - but I still like a special Saturday night in

Sea swimming is brilliant! After buying me a bikini last year, I said to my husband "let's go for a swim in the sea" - we live right by the sea.

It was only while I was packing he realized I wasn't 'joking'. For some reason he's never swam in the sea and became a little nervous. I insisted we'll keep right by the coast but that we go.

He absolutely loved it, and it's a top memory for him of last year! Imagine reaching nearly 40 and having never swam in the sea once!

This. I'd just do it, you never know they might be fine. Don't let this dictate what you can do, 7 is far too old for that

I love this thread! Just placemarking for the ideas, really...

My SO and I do this too. It's incredibly relaxing.

I used to get ds off to bed early, Friday night was best as he was tired from school, then we would prepare a nice meal with wine & then watch a film.

Haven't rtft... sorry, if suggested already:
get kids fed and to bed then, together, cook a nice meal for two, open some wine and sit in the garden to enjoy.

This has reminded me to get a cheese subscription

We either take a half day on a school day and go for lunch or we get something cool for dinner (a simply cook recipe kit, a big steak etc) and tell the kids it's an early night night (maybe they can watch a movie upstairs etc) but no coming downstairs unless there's an emergency. Not in a harsh way, more like one of us cooks while the other puts the kids to bed at 730ish and we eat at 8

And daytime lunch/afternoon sex dates. Worth sacrificing some annual leave for!

Cooking together.
A completely random movie choice of something you would NEVER normally watch-we recently did some cheesy Cary Grant 50’s stuff and loved it.
Shower together.
Bale and decorate cakes.
Slow dance in the kitchen.
Wrap up really warm and have an outdoor picnic.
Board games.
Random jigsaw ( better fun if one of you hasn’t a clue what it is)
Pedicure.
Print off a load of photos from your phone and spend time putting them in an old fashioned album.
Most importantly, no phones!

Date nights are hard when you have kids and I am pretty much in the same boat.

I've seen a few videos on social media where couples sit opposite each other and paint a portrait picture of their other half within a time frame and then reveal. It's a way to have a good laugh. We have done this but included our kids also to make it fun.

Fire pit in the garden is fun. Talking, star gazing, toasting marshmallows

Sexy scrabble (Google it)

full body massage (either just one person or each do it to eachother)

Bake off

take turns cooking eachother dinner

cook together - either a shared meal or one does main / one does dessert

Computer games - I quite like the Lego ones or something like unravelled 2 or it takes 2 is a good co-op.

We both like painting I paint flowers/plants mainly on canvas/paper and DH paints miniatures for his niche Mumsnet hobby, but we do so at either end of the dining table with a podcast on we both enjoy

We've started private dance lessons with another couple, one evening every other week in early evenings. We rotate houses and bring the kids with us. Not cheap but great fun and brings connection back. And I’d never thought I ever be doing something like this so makes me grin even writing it as it sounds very random/poncey to have a dance teacher come to our home! 💃🕺

We have a village that has 4 restaurants/pubs (tourist centre). We go there on the bus for a lunchtime. Linger over coffee and chat in a different way to being at home.

If children away, earlier bus and straight to bed.

When our DC’s were little. On a Friday night I used to wear make up and perfume, get an M&S meal deal or something nice for tea, lay the table, light a candle, put background music on, open a bottle of wine and pretend we were in a restaurant.

We were also a fan of a sneaky, cheeky day or half day off and either having a nice lunch and going to bed (if just half a day). Or having a spa day together or a nice day out in the country on our own.

You really need to work on a good bedtime and sleep routine with them. Preferably before they are at Secondary School up late and likely to be eveywhere.

Thanks @StMarieforme.
I was 61 before I became a nanna, had wanted to have the role for quite some time but had to wait until my AC “promoted” me. Ruth felt the same and loved being my DCs’ “grandmother”.
Before Ruth there was Diane, whose daughter I took through GCSE. She wouldn’t accept more than magazines and the occasional editing of her daughter’s A-level assignments.
Seriously, consider asking our age group. We’ve ‘revitalised’ marriages, brought up children, have the t-shirts, and quite a few of us are in the wings very keenly waiting for DGC. For everything else in life we can work or pay but being a DGP has to be awarded. It can be a looong wait during which time we thoroughly enjoy being with children.
Clearly you have to be sensible and not all are enthusiastic but it’s worth a thought.
As you say, @StMarieforme, babysitting circles also have their merit which, for me, bridged the time between Diane and Ruth.