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Original poster

Savings for children differences

35 replies

Bedheadready · 04/09/2024 10:46

my husband and I have 1 child and another on the way. From he was 1 week old we set up a junior ISA that we pay into from our joint account every month and he should have approx £30k when he’s 18. I intend to do the same with the new baby when it’s born.

husband has 2 children from a previous relationship. The relationship with his ex gf is very strained as is the relationship with the children. They have no ISA or savings set up for them by us. I am just afraid it will cause more resentment when they are 18 and don’t get what my children will. Differences are already noticed by pure virtue of me earning a significant salary that will continue to rise over the next number of years.

aibu to think we should open something for them too or is it just life.

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 04/09/2024 11:04

You say your kids m9ney comes from the 'joint account' but he can't afford to put money aside for his kids? Does this realistically mean that you largely fund the joint account?

If the joint account is 50/50 then I would split the kids savings between all 4 - and you can add to yours (2) separately.
If the joint account is mainly funded by you then I'd probably for the sake of appearances shift the savings to your own account and the savings come purely from you When the kids get them.

The reality is that blended family's do result in children getting treated different as they have non-shared parent/families. (If you could reasonably afford and want to put something aside for his kids there is of course nothing stopping you.)

LlynTegid · 04/09/2024 11:03

Bedheadready · 04/09/2024 11:00

the relationship is very very strained as in they don’t even communicate so I’d say this is a no goer unfortunately

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Or just open an ISA himself if your DH does not have one. Money can be transferred when they are adults I assume.

LlynTegid · 04/09/2024 11:02

Worthwhile assuming they are not 17 to open a junior ISA (or your DH to do this). I think ISA allowances might be reduced in future tax years, so anything this year if possible.

Original poster
Bedheadready · 04/09/2024 11:00

AngharadM · 04/09/2024 10:51

Your husband should think about it, then contribute from his salary and invite his ex to.also add of she wishes to give her children the same type of advantage as yours.

I bet you're the one who instigated the savings for your children?

the relationship is very very strained as in they don’t even communicate so I’d say this is a no goer unfortunately

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedheadready · 04/09/2024 11:00

DeedlessIndeed · 04/09/2024 10:54

Surely he would just have to adjust the amount currently saved to split it equally across all children?

He decided to have more children, surely he realised that money to spend or save would therefore reduce for each one.

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He never thought about saving until I set up the junior isa for our first baby. He couldn’t afford to pay the same amount for them all

OP posts:
DeedlessIndeed · 04/09/2024 10:54

Bedheadready · 04/09/2024 10:52

Yes. I am a lot more financially minded than my husband. Could he afford to put some away each month for his children? No is the realistic answer.

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Surely he would just have to adjust the amount currently saved to split it equally across all children?

He decided to have more children, surely he realised that money to spend or save would therefore reduce for each one.

Original poster
Bedheadready · 04/09/2024 10:52

AngharadM · 04/09/2024 10:51

Your husband should think about it, then contribute from his salary and invite his ex to.also add of she wishes to give her children the same type of advantage as yours.

I bet you're the one who instigated the savings for your children?

Yes. I am a lot more financially minded than my husband. Could he afford to put some away each month for his children? No is the realistic answer.

OP posts:
DeedlessIndeed · 04/09/2024 10:51

I think your husband should save equal amounts of money for each of his children.

If you contribute more to your child's ISA than DH ex's does then that is her perogative.

This can be explained to respective children at 18 if needed, that Dad saved equally for all DC.

AngharadM · 04/09/2024 10:51

Your husband should think about it, then contribute from his salary and invite his ex to.also add of she wishes to give her children the same type of advantage as yours.

I bet you're the one who instigated the savings for your children?

angellinaballerina7 · 04/09/2024 10:50

He should be giving/putting aside for his children with ex partner the same as he puts aside for yours - it should have been started from when you opened the ISA for your first child. It won’t be as much money, which is unfortunate but just part of life I guess - he isn’t going to be able to magic up £30k in time for each child being 18 I imagine, but there should be something there.

Your salary etc really shouldn’t have anything to do with it, though if you wanted to contribute then I’m sure it would be welcome.