Refugees "visiting home"

It seems lots of ukrainian wives on this tread

Not making a value judgement either way but just wanting to gauge opinions-

“Would I return to a war torn country to visit my husband, sons, brothers, mother, etc. Absolutely…”

would you take your four year old daughter with you?

A more valid observation might be that the war has affected all income groups.

You do know that there is an actual war involving actual missiles killing actual people in Ukraine, don't you? And that the absolute minimum number of civilian casualties is 11,520 killed, 23,640 wounded (and thousands missing), with 120,000 Ukrainian soldiers killed, martial law and massive displacement due to such intense physical destruction. And that's not to mention the horrific trauma and psychological damage undoubtedly unleashed by such widespread loss.

What would you do if this happened in your country?

Here's another link

If you dont want to click I'll explain

Lviv. Should be "safe". Tell this poor man that. Lost his whole family thanks to russian savages

x.com/kyivpost/status/1831268190405484595?s=46&t=En7uHsBtveeyWz6jMQkU-A

Agree!

Bombs don’t discriminate, his apparent wealth makes him no less unsafe or less worthy of help.

Yeah I’m sure this wealthy guy left his gorgeous much nicer fancy massive house in Ukraine, his fancy toys, luxury life, fancy great job and home country where he was very comfortable and well off with his loved ones and friends around to move to shitty weather cost of living crisis foreign country to live in a tiny uk house crowded with a bunch of stranger room mates who make sad faces and offer charity, and be surrounded by neighbours like you to judge his situation, because he wanted to/his will

I’m sure he just dreamed to downgrade his lifestyle, not like he had no choice

I think it’s reasonable for OP to ask any question she wants without the “omg you are so stooooopid” responses. We really are shit as a country at having normal conversations.

Of course she’s allowed to visit, and sounds like is doing so at great risk to herself

I guess if god forbids uk is ever attacked and there’s war, all the rich/wealthy/educated/middle class mumsnetters on here and their families will have to stay back and get torn into pieces by bombs because refugees can only be poor

are you saying Ukrainians cannot be wealthy/educated/business owners or are you saying that if you are educated/wealthy you should be left to die or are you saying if you are educated/wealthy bombs will be nice you and avoid you and only discriminate against the poor?

The real messed up part of it is that Ukrainians seem to be the only nationality who do not get watched like hawks and severely penalized for doing this. Although this is guess is down to the technicality of ‘potato-potato-ing’ the refugee status as someone else said

Anyway, fully support her going back to visit if she can. Hope she stays safe. Hope she does’t get any comeback from it.

i genuinely think that if you’ve (generally not OP specifically) not been in this position you have absolutely no right to criticize

what about all those dead Ukrainian women, children and elderly we hear in the news about everyday? If they chose to stay in Ukraine and not run and become refugees must not be that bad right!

Her choosing to risk her life and health/body to see family what could be the last time does not change the fact that is it extremely unsafe to live there

For the record - I have 2 adult guests - both working since the start of the 3rd week they arrived here.

One 16 year old guest who despite only starting to learn English when he arrived here in March 2022 has just passed his GCSEs well enough to be allowed to go on to do A Levels - because he worked his guts out to learn English and get the results he needed.

I do not think they are a drain on society at all - if anything they're quite frankly an example a lot of people in this country could do with following they also make the best cakes ever

We were very lucky I know lots of people who have not been so happy with the way things have turned out....

Surely there is a vast difference between going to Kiev to visit Vs trying to live, work and study in a worn torn country? I'm sure the opportunity for people to work and actually live is 10% of what it was in Ukraine. When I last looked at hotel reviews on tripadvisor for Kiev, all the reviews of the big hotels were of people mentioning little electricity or power being available for a few hours. That doesn't sound like a place refugees can go home to and pick up where they last left of yet!

Why? I am foreign and so many times I met other foreigners here who trash a lot of things about this country, sometimes it is the first thing they start talking about when I tell them where I am from. Frankly I think it's disgusting.

I also believe the thing about fake driving licences, in my country people can even get fake uni degrees 😂

And from talking to ukrainian/eastern euro friends, all their family and friends living in Europe, can’t wait to leave. A few of them already went back permanently, they couldn’t stand to be away from home/family

She could be killed visiting them

shes risking her life to see her family what could be the last time she ever sees them, and people still judge, unbelievable

I have a Ukranian friend who went home to see the dentist! Which sadly says something about the state of NHS denistry in the UK. There are lots of places round the world I would visit for a short trip but not consider safe to raise a family.

My goodness, you like to stereotype don't you !

My Ukrainian guest is lovely, hardworking and a beautiful person. Sorry you haven't had the same experience. Bear in mind there are 'naughty boys' of all nationalities in Universities up and down the country.

Btw - how do you 'stop' an adult going anywhere ? Presume if your son is at University then he is over 18 ?

What about those who never left Ukraine? There are people who stayed in Ukraine, in places that have been/ are being destroyed right now, they refused to leave, wives refusing to leave their husbands, people refusing to leave elderly parents/grandparents etc, all those who refused to run when Russia came and died/lost loved ones

does that mean it’s safe because they didn’t leave

if you guys were offered all expenses paid for free luxury trip to Ukraine/you were offered a lot of money to live there for 1 year, I doubt any of you would agree

And my friend talks to family and her aunt who refused to live in Poland and went back to be with her sons everyday, they now live in a ‘safer’ Kyiv, it’s absolutely not safe and the things that she tells is happening everyday in their city, are terrifying, so scary, they haven’t slept really in god knows how long, don’t know how they can live there, i wouldn’t be able to, brave people

That’s interesting. I read the other day that Germany was considering revoking residency permits of asylum seekers who holiday in their country of origin.
Ukranians were to be excluded, and I wondered why, but it’s possibly due to their status.

Why is it tiring and draining for you, are you a refugee?
I do think it’s quite a complex issue, but it’s sort of understandable if people ask questions and there’s no need to shut them down.
I can imagine why someone would want to go and see their family.
From what I‘ve heard, some areas in Ukraine are relatively calm, but not safe as such, as you never know where/ when Russia will attack next.

I would risk it too, it could be the last time she ever sees them. I don’t know how I’d be able my loved ones. It’s a short quick visit not the same as living there

And there are people who stayed in places that have been destroyed, they refused to leave these places when they had the chance, and died, that mean they are safe?

my friends Ukrainian aunt who was safe in Poland moved back to ukraine forever, she said I don’t care, I’m taking that risk, I’m not leaving my sons and grandsons, I can’t be without them

and kiev/other parts of Ukraine is already full of refugees from other places in Ukraine that have been destroyed, there’s just no space to house them all

she’s obviously taking that risk to see family which could be very last time, and looking at updates on situation there

She might never see her family again, they could be torn to pieces tomorrow, very easy to judge when it’s not your loved ones

The war in Ukraine is dynamic. She presumably is keeping a close eye on information about the status of the various areas of the country and travel guidance, and taking an informed risk. That's VERY different to being safe for her to move back to, even assuming that she has a home or town to move back to.