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Refugees "visiting home"

412 replies

Notanotherkendoll · 04/09/2024 09:03

I'm not sure how I feel after this conversation with a friend so would like to hear other opinions.
My friend took in a Ukrainian refugee back in 2022, she was a 18/19 year old teenager. She didn't stay for long before getting employment/started studying and was able to move out but they have remained in touch and my friend sort of views herself as the girls "uk mum".
Anyway friend is once again beside herself as she has gone back to Kyiv for a few days. This isn't the city she is from but sadly the city she was from was under siege for sometime and is now mostly destroyed. She is going to visit her family who all moved to Kyiv, as the only girl her family pushed her to flee when the war started but her mum stayed put.

This has me thinking, surely if it is safe enough for her to return home to visit, it's safe enough for her to move back? I thought the whole point of being a refugee was that your own country wasn't safe, if you are going back to visit how can that be the case?

AIBU to think it's incompatible with the very nature of being a refugee to be able to visit home?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:30

EI12 · 04/09/2024 18:26

Thank you for putting this point across. I too had rose-tinted spectacles before my brother married a Bulgarian woman (they are divorced now). She came here illegally prior to 2004 and overstayed her student visa (language school). She then married my brother and moved in with him. Unbeknown to him, she registered her mum, dad and sister for GP purposes and from that moment on they started flying into UK for treatment, staying with them. As time went on, she brought them over and they are now in a council-paid care home, mum and dad (and sister in a council flat). None of them paid a penny into the system, all of them defrauded it. The family have multiple properties in Sunny Beach area which she rents out, but she does not declare it when claiming benefits (they are divorced now). My twerp of a brother refused to dob her in with the properties when they were going through the courts for maintenance and child contact. She now fakes a neurological condition, claims benefits and they now make her pee into a bottle for tests (she fakes the condition but does not take the drugs they prescribe). When I challenged her and asked if it is fair her freeloading family is leeching off the UK (it was 7 years ago), she looked at me and said - we are all equal EU members now, if you want to send YOUR parents to a care home in Bulgaria, nothing stops you. It is a lie, first of all, because Bulgarian state care homes won't accept foreigners, and secondly, no Brit would ever want to go there - the standards are too low.

Unlike the wonderful British criminals hiding out in Spain! https://murciatoday.com/six_down_seven_to_go_uk_most_wanted_criminals_still_hiding_out_in_spain_2012430-a.html
Eh you do know UK is no longer in the EU....and 'the standards are too low' - from a country where over 3.12 million people used a food bank in the past year!

<span style='color:#780948'>ARCHIVED</span> - Six down, seven to go: UK most wanted criminals still hiding out in Spain

https://murciatoday.com/six_down_seven_to_go_uk_most_wanted_criminals_still_hiding_out_in_spain_2012430-a.html

Igotjelly · 04/09/2024 18:30

The long running Ukraine thread has frequently been targeted by Russian disinformation, can’t see why this one would be any different. It’s a known tactic in the hybrid war being waged against the West to promote Russian talking points.

EI12 · 04/09/2024 18:26

lolit · 04/09/2024 15:49

Why? I am foreign and so many times I met other foreigners here who trash a lot of things about this country, sometimes it is the first thing they start talking about when I tell them where I am from. Frankly I think it's disgusting.

I also believe the thing about fake driving licences, in my country people can even get fake uni degrees 😂

Thank you for putting this point across. I too had rose-tinted spectacles before my brother married a Bulgarian woman (they are divorced now). She came here illegally prior to 2004 and overstayed her student visa (language school). She then married my brother and moved in with him. Unbeknown to him, she registered her mum, dad and sister for GP purposes and from that moment on they started flying into UK for treatment, staying with them. As time went on, she brought them over and they are now in a council-paid care home, mum and dad (and sister in a council flat). None of them paid a penny into the system, all of them defrauded it. The family have multiple properties in Sunny Beach area which she rents out, but she does not declare it when claiming benefits (they are divorced now). My twerp of a brother refused to dob her in with the properties when they were going through the courts for maintenance and child contact. She now fakes a neurological condition, claims benefits and they now make her pee into a bottle for tests (she fakes the condition but does not take the drugs they prescribe). When I challenged her and asked if it is fair her freeloading family is leeching off the UK (it was 7 years ago), she looked at me and said - we are all equal EU members now, if you want to send YOUR parents to a care home in Bulgaria, nothing stops you. It is a lie, first of all, because Bulgarian state care homes won't accept foreigners, and secondly, no Brit would ever want to go there - the standards are too low.

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:25

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:20

Sure, there's always brave people who would fight back and those who are scared and try to save their life

people protect their family either way

Who am I to judge in a safe country in my chicken hut?

Edited

You must consider yourself a chicken, since you live in a chicken hut. I take pride in my home

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:24

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:17

If not run away to the safe country and call their houses "chicken huts"

It was me calling our tiny London/ uk houses chicken huts as a joke. Actually re reading what I wrote, I didn’t even say chicken huts, I just said tiny and over crowded, it was you who said the word chicken huts.

op, are you a Russian bot? Your arguments make no sense

timenowplease · 04/09/2024 18:24

DodoTired · 04/09/2024 18:00

That’s not what we or the government was calling Ukranians. They have a different status than refugees who seek asylum here.

Do you want to know WHY everyone calls them refugees???

BECAUSE THEY ARE REFUGEES!!

Igotjelly · 04/09/2024 18:22

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:15

Unfortunately, the ukrainians do that to the russians, too

And there you have it 😑. I think you’ll find the UN consider Russian torture of Ukrainians to be systemic, that’s not true of the other way around.

timenowplease · 04/09/2024 18:21

DodoTired · 04/09/2024 18:00

That’s not what we or the government was calling Ukranians. They have a different status than refugees who seek asylum here.

The BBC calls them refugees.

Ukrainian refugees - BBC News

Logo for BBC News

Ukrainian refugees - BBC News

All the latest content about Ukrainian refugees from the BBC.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/topics/cye0d64l2nmt

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:20

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:17

If not run away to the safe country and call their houses "chicken huts"

Sure, there's always brave people who would fight back and those who are scared and try to save their life

people protect their family either way

Who am I to judge in a safe country in my chicken hut?

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:17

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:16

good

who cares

justice, not soft justice like in uk

a taste of their own medicine

id hurt anyone who tries to hurt and kill my loved one and destroy my home

Edited

If not run away to the safe country and call their houses "chicken huts"

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:16

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:15

Unfortunately, the ukrainians do that to the russians, too

good

who cares

justice, not soft justice like in uk

a taste of their own medicine

id hurt anyone who tries to hurt and kill my loved one and destroy my home

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:16

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:15

Unfortunately, the ukrainians do that to the russians, too

Where's the report on that please?

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:15

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:11

Maybe he didn't want to be tortured or raped by Russians?
www.pravda.com.ua/eng/news/2024/06/4/7459183/

Unfortunately, the ukrainians do that to the russians, too

timenowplease · 04/09/2024 18:15

DodoTired · 04/09/2024 18:00

That’s not what we or the government was calling Ukranians. They have a different status than refugees who seek asylum here.

The UK government calls them refugees.

UK government's humanitarian response to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Welcome to GOV.UK

GOV.UK - The best place to find government services and information.

http://www.gov.uk

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:14

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:11

Maybe he didn't want to be tortured or raped by Russians?
www.pravda.com.ua/eng/news/2024/06/4/7459183/

Exactly

AgileGreenSeal · 04/09/2024 18:12

Anonym00se · 04/09/2024 17:33

I wouldn’t, personally. I would if it were just me. Our guest has never been home, and says she won’t go back until the war is over. Her son is really missing his Grandad, they were very close. My husband offered to fly with him to Poland to meet up with Grandad for a visit and she won’t allow him to go there. She says it’s “too close”. She is very deeply traumatised.

Sorry to hear how she and her son are feeling. That was very kind of your husband.

My neighbour goes back four or five times a year and takes her daughter with her (she was four when I first met them). She has no qualms about going but always leaves her teenage son here (to avoid being drafted, I’m guessing- he’s 18 or 19 now).

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:12

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:12

This is all total speculation - none of you know him or anything about him!

We don’t even know if it’s a he, that poster said one of the refugees, no mention of gender

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:12

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:11

Yes that’s my point

it was a desperate situation, facing death, that made him run, he didn’t give up his comfortable life for no good reason

This is all total speculation - none of you know him or anything about him!

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:11

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:09

I’m not sure what you are trying to argue

i am saying the exact same thing you are saying

it was a threat of death/desperate situation that made him leave

even if you believe that men should be forced to fight and those who don’t are cowards and shouldn’t be allowed to be refugees, you agree facing death is a horrible situation right? And that he will be facing death right?

that poster basically said you can’t be a refugee if you have money, implying he’s here for other reasons

and I just said that it must have been a very terrible situation/threat of death that made him leave his comfortable life behind

he didn’t run here for no good reason

weather you believe its right or not that men can escape war is right or not, is a completely different topic

Maybe he didn't want to be tortured or raped by Russians?
www.pravda.com.ua/eng/news/2024/06/4/7459183/

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:11

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 17:31

I neither judge nor blame anyone for the choices they make, but that man didn't leave 'his wealthy life for chicken hut of a house in the UK', he run away from having to defend his country, didn't he?

Yes that’s my point

it was a desperate situation, facing death, that made him run, he didn’t give up his comfortable life for no good reason

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:10

Do you want to try to justify the Russian invasion?
Or mass rape? https://edition.cnn.com/2024/05/30/europe/russia-sexual-violence-occupied-ukraine-intl-cmd/index.html
Or other human rights abuses?
https://www.ohchr.org/en/hr-bodies/hrc/iicihr-ukraine/index

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:10

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:06

Well, men under 25 and over 60 years of age, as well as persons who are declared unfit and excluded from the lists of persons liable for military service, aren't subject to mobilization.
Have you ever been conscripted and had to fight a war?

Do you really believe ukrainian officials do not also accept bribes?

KylieAndBaby01 · 04/09/2024 18:09

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:01

Tell me other options

I’m not sure what you are trying to argue

i am saying the exact same thing you are saying

it was a threat of death/desperate situation that made him leave

even if you believe that men should be forced to fight and those who don’t are cowards and shouldn’t be allowed to be refugees, you agree facing death is a horrible situation right? And that he will be facing death right?

that poster basically said you can’t be a refugee if you have money, implying he’s here for other reasons

and I just said that it must have been a very terrible situation/threat of death that made him leave his comfortable life behind

he didn’t run here for no good reason

weather you believe its right or not that men can escape war is right or not, is a completely different topic

twodowntwotogo · 04/09/2024 18:06

Newgreendress · 04/09/2024 18:01

Tell me other options

Well, men under 25 and over 60 years of age, as well as persons who are declared unfit and excluded from the lists of persons liable for military service, aren't subject to mobilization.
Have you ever been conscripted and had to fight a war?