Refugees "visiting home"

What is your point? Your issue seems to be that people have cited the unambiguous fact that occupying forces have used rape as a weapon of war in Ukraine, and that many Ukrainians are frightened of this.

This is a really good comparison, thanks.

It's all about playing the system isn't it.

Of course not!

My point is being missed but maybe it’s a subject for a different thread.

Is this the same West Ukraine that was bombed overnight?

Uh? wtaf??? 100 people blown to bits yesterday in a double missile strike in central Ukraine yesterday.

No, anyone raising this isn't a far right winger, they are just heartless.

Because of the Wests stupidity, Ukraine may yet be over run by Russian forces, UA is fighting with one arm tied behind its back by Western Govt's not supplying and not allowing UA to strike military targets in Russia.

Have you actually read any of the posts.

So do you think the russians who use rape as a weapon as part of their genocidal invasion shouldn't be called that?

They've emptied their prisons of murderers and rapists to slaughter Ukrainians

They are rapists

This isn't the city she is from but sadly the city she was from was under siege for sometime and is now mostly destroyed.

AIBU to think it's incompatible with the very nature of being a refugee to be able to visit home?

She didn’t return home though did she? Your own post states her city is was destroyed.

Hardly the same as Belfast is part of the uk

I knew a woman who was a refugee from Ukraine and came with her son who was 7. They stayed with a family close to me for a couple of years and became quite involved in the local community. I met the woman many times - prior to coming to the UK she had lived in a few other countries and her English was excellent which helped her settle in much better and more quickly than other Ukranian refugees who came to nearby towns. She said that she viewed coming to the UK as a big adventure for her and her son. Whilst in the UK, she went back to Ukraine many times on holiday. Her town was largely unaffected by the war (in terms of devestation im sure it was still frightening) - she spoke of what I imagine to be like air raid drills and sometimes they would hear the rockets but her town was not under seige and no buildings or homes were affected. The woman was an artist and tried to persue selling her art in the UK but didnt seem to be very successful. She lived on benefits although had met some weathly elderly people in the town who were helping to support her and eventually she was allocated a council house. The council house was not in the town where she first came but still in the county. I don't think she could drive or if she could, she didn't have a car and buses are not the best in my area so i think she lost touch with some of the people who had been funding her. She became quite bitter about this and after attempts to get moved through the council failed, she moved back to Ukraine. I cant understand how difficult it must have been to come here in the first place and start a new life and then to have to do the same again when the council house was in a different town, it meant her son had to change schools after settling in well to the first one and that alone i think is unfair. That being said, I find the decision to move back very strange, maybe easy for me to say having not been in her shoes but i find it hard to understand why you would knowingly take your child back to a warzone. I suppose she must feel safe enough in her small town. I hope so.

I think this is complicated and oversimplified by some. As a PP noted, people coming to the UK from Ukraine are not refugees in the legal sense - they can live, work and study for extended periods and move around freely - including visiting home if they wish and at their risk.

Legal refugees are granted protection as they face persecution, violence or worse at home. For them to return home freely raises the issue of undermining their real need for protection. I think it’s fair to consider this.

That all said, the human need to reconnect and belong must be utterly overwhelming and I can completely understand people taking risks to see their loved ones. Less so to nip for a hair cut.

The misinformation & lack of understanding & compassion on this thread is breathtaking.

Well they don't fly into a war torn country.

I don’t literally think she kicks puppies for fun.

I think wanting to deny a young girl in a terrible situation sanctuary from war is as bad as kicking puppies for fun.

This young girl obviously misses her family so much to risk going back to a war zone. She knows she is at risk there but goes because she misses her family so much.

Tell me where the OP said she liked kicking puppies for fun?

Pretending you believe that is your excuse for insulting her and others.

Believe it or not people are allowed to disagree with you and you have no right to insult them just because you are unable counter an argument without belittling them.

Similar experience to @MockCroc - Ukrainian mum I know has gone back with her kids to see her male relations, including their dad. She says you hear the 'iron dome' equivalent all night deflecting incoming missiles. It's dangerous but she is broken, missing her family desperately. She wants to go back permanently but it is too dangerous. She's a pharmacist but there has been no support to get back into this work in the UK, which is a tragedy imo.

She also gets her dental care done!! It says something that dental care in a war zone is better than in the UK....

If they remove the " special" Ukrainian visa then she would have no rights to be here at all so should go back in that case

Ukraine. I am not sure of the exact location. He said it is quite far from where all the action is.

From what I understand some wait til they have a UK passport.

Plus they do not fly over and back from Uk, they do a stopover. Not sure what ID is used for that.

We hosted a mother and two children who lived with us for 20 months before moving into their own home locally. Mum is the hardest working person I have ever met and was devastated to leave a good life she had built in Ukraine, arriving here with nothing. She did it to protect her children. They go back to Ukraine a couple of times a year. They go because the children’s father is there and is not allowed to leave. Separation from him breaks the children’s hearts. The whole time they are there we worry about them. They have to cope with only 4 hours of power a day, air raids, missile attacks, drones flying past the windows, food shortages etc. The mum tears herself in half worrying about what the right thing to do is. Keep the children here so they never see their dad and their wider family or risk all their safety to give them time together. There have been times she’s booked tickets and hasn’t been able to go because the safety situation has changed. These things are never straightforward or black and white. We all spend our lives weighing up risks and benefits in the choices we make. I choose to get in a car on a motorway and to accept that risk but I wouldn’t choose to race a motorbike around a racetrack. I am just grateful that this is not a scenario I have to tackle where I need to balance my children’s family relationships, sense of identity and mental health against the risk of getting bombed.

In what way has the language changed? Where is anyone saying all Russian men are rapists?

They aren’t. They are always and only talking about what is happening in the war.

@Notanotherkendoll 's warped logic is that if people are living in Ukraine, it must be safe.

After all when bombs fall in Ukraine, civilians are killed.

Kyiv - Children's hospital hit as Russian strikes kill dozens in Ukraine
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cl4y1pjk2dzo
Lviv - Seven dead in Lviv in fresh wave of strikes on Ukraine
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cpqj35jv3e7o

Therefore, if civilians are killed, people are still living in Ukraine and it must be safe.

Yes. You are absolutely the only person. How very dare they