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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is asking a lot?!

159 replies

Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 20:51

Person A works 10 hours a day and drives.

Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive.

B would like A to come and collect them after work several times a week, visit a family member and then drop them home.

This will be a 40 mile round trip for A in the evening after work when they’re tired (not to mention the extra time and petrol costs).

A said they can’t do this several times a week after work due to the time/cost etc

B is not happy about this. Due to the countryside location, B’s only other option is a taxi which they cannot afford. B says they cannot work more due to their mental health but because they’re self employed what they can claim via universal credit is very limited.

YABU: A should do the 40 mile round trip for B a few times a week

YANBU: B needs to fit in with when A feels able to do the 40 mile round trip or make their own arrangements to see family member.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 03/09/2024 21:21

B says they can’t afford a taxi, they might need reminding how much it takes to run a car - tax, insurance, fuel and MOT/maintenance. I’ve spent over £2,000 on all of those combined just in the last two months - taxis kinda seem cheap now don’t they?!

HeliotropePJs · 03/09/2024 21:14

I'm guessing the relative B wants to be driven to visit multiple times a week is an ailing or elderly parent, thus adding a more emotional element to the situation, but the bottom line is that A is understandably tired after a long day of work and should not feel forced into this arrangement simply because B doesn't want to find another solution.

Original poster
Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:14

KreedKafer · 03/09/2024 21:10

Tell your sibling to fuck off, for God’s sake. You’re not their carer, their parent or their taxi service. If they don’t drive (and I speak as a non-driver) they shouldn’t have taken a job that requires a commute by car.

They don’t need to commute to work, this is a social visit to see a family member they want driving to!

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 03/09/2024 21:10

Tell your sibling to fuck off, for God’s sake. You’re not their carer, their parent or their taxi service. If they don’t drive (and I speak as a non-driver) they shouldn’t have taken a job that requires a commute by car.

BMW6 · 03/09/2024 21:10

B should work more hours to get more money so they can afford driving lessons and a car.

Or get a bike.

B is as entitled arse.

Arlanymor · 03/09/2024 21:10

B sounds like my sibling only she doesn’t bother with my family at all because she is next level narc. A just needs to say no and mean it.

Original poster
Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:09

B is the golden child and always has been, so thinks they’re being totally reasonable! 🙄

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 03/09/2024 21:09

B can move closer to the relative and still do their 2 hours self employed work if it's so essential.

A should block B

MammaGisAF · 03/09/2024 21:08

Sorry the thread moved quicker than I could type.
Siblings?! B is being unreasonable. They need to sort themselves out. A has no obligation to be a free taxi.

Cosyblankets · 03/09/2024 21:07

Tell your sibling they need to learn to drive

Original poster
Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:06

MammaGisAF · 03/09/2024 21:06

Are A&B in a relationship? Married couple? If so I’d say A should make the effort maybe once a week. Any other relationship I think maybe not? Depends doesn’t it? If B is A’s elderly widowed mother then maybe A should do it. See what I mean?!

A and B are siblings.

OP posts:
MammaGisAF · 03/09/2024 21:06

Are A&B in a relationship? Married couple? If so I’d say A should make the effort maybe once a week. Any other relationship I think maybe not? Depends doesn’t it? If B is A’s elderly widowed mother then maybe A should do it. See what I mean?!

Original poster
Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:05

Didn’t realize the typo on the OP and it won’t let me edit it!

Just to confirm, B does NOT drive! B says they cannot afford to learn to drive. If they worked more they could but they say they can’t due to poor MH.

OP posts:
Allfur · 03/09/2024 21:04

I hate a and b shit too, no-one knows you, so just say which one you are - also tell b to get a bike

Paganpentacle · 03/09/2024 21:04

Person B just needs to be told ''No- I'm not doing that after a 10 hour shift''

I wouldn't give a shit if they're not happy regardless of who it is.

sarahzbaker · 03/09/2024 21:04

My DPs used to ask me to drop them off at their rental in Exeter. I had to drive from Hackney to to that. I should have said
NO CFs

DDG54 · 03/09/2024 21:04

If B doesn't not drive then does that mean they drive?

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 03/09/2024 21:02

Well, we know for certain that the OP isn’t B.

lightsandtunnels · 03/09/2024 21:02

If they are siblings then A owes B nothing. B is a CF and needs to stop being a freeloader. How long has A been doing this?

Iloveacurry · 03/09/2024 21:02

B needs to learn to drive.

Original poster
Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:01

MonicaWalkaway · 03/09/2024 21:00

"Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive."

What?

Person B doesn’t understand why A is tired after a 10 hour day. They only work 2 hours a day in comparison (they are self employed and this is their choice!)

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 03/09/2024 21:01

Person A works 10 hours a day and drives.

Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive.

B would like A to come and collect them after work several times a week, visit a family member and then drop them home.

^ I got this far before deciding B is a CF

lightsandtunnels · 03/09/2024 21:00

I agree with PPs that it really depends on who is A and who is B and the back story.

At first reading, B needs to learn to drive and sort out their own social life and transport and stop relying on A after they've done a long shift.

CelestialNexus · 03/09/2024 21:00

Who the fuck are these people?

If B (not the OP) can't get to work, they need to find a new job

MonicaWalkaway · 03/09/2024 21:00

"Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive."

What?