Page 7 | Not giving my kids money while at uni

Seilla · 2024-09-03T15:51:59+00:00

I have twins who are both going to uni this year, DD is going to Kings in London and DS to Newcastle. I work as an administrator for the local council making about £24k, their dad isn't involved at all.He sees them maybe 2 times a year and moved away. They are both get full student loans. DD this is £13,348, DS £10,227. DDs Accomodation is £169 per week and DS is £129 per week (DDs uni has an affordable Accomodation scheme she qualified for). The maths tells me that DD will have £732 a month after rent (dividing the remaining loan by 9 months) and DS £563. My parents just bought them both a MacBook for there 18th last week, I've got them new phone contracts which I will pay. They both just got over £1000 from there child trust funds and my parents have given them £500 each to get clothes and pots/pans. They have both worked all through sixth form and have savings, DDs is at a little restaurant who have said they will have her back in the holidays. DS was at a shop so that is less likely. AIBU to give them nothing more? My parents think I should give them pocket money and I hear all there friends parents talking of contributions but I think they have loads with just that and getting jobs of their own?

Acinonyx2 · 03/09/2024 17:46

Sounds fine to me - and I speak as one who pays 8000 a year for dd's rent (very painful...) while she lives on minimum loan (all year, including summer - I don't give anything more than the rent). But that is less than your kids will have per month (or is that not counting summer? - still looks OK) so if I were you I wouldn't be jumping to pay more either. They can top up with summer work.

vincettenoir · 03/09/2024 17:46

YNBU. If one of them is struggling and comes to you at a later stage then perhaps you can re-assess. But as a plan at the outset, it’s completely reasonable and well thought-out.

NotDonna · 03/09/2024 17:45

The parents you’ll be hearing about who contribute which be those whose teens haven’t got full loans and are expected to top up so don’t worry.
HOWEVER second on ongoing years are more expensive. Private rents are often 51/52 weeks and not 40 like student halls. The landlords want deposits waaay advance. So any money you do have spare this year pop to oneside for next year & the ones following and suggest they do similar.
Well done to the pair of them!

Original poster

Seilla · 03/09/2024 17:44

Blushingm · 03/09/2024 17:43

I'm in a similar situation - DD will get just over £12k loan but her accommodation is £317 per week which means she will have absolutely nothing left at all. My DSis has offered her £100 per month but I can't really afford anything so DD will need to work

Gosh £317!! Which uni is that?
I was glad DD qualified for the affordable accommodation scheme or else we were looking at £215 and even that seemed crazy to me!

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Zanatdy · 03/09/2024 17:44

Redlocks28 · 03/09/2024 17:43

That’s good. Mine started looking for 2nd year houses in about November (they’d barely arrived!) as all the good ones were going! We then had to find a month’s deposit to secure the house and then the rent had to be paid from 1st July all summer, so just because the halls cost isn’t a full year, be aware than you might have to start paying out for the second year sooner than you think.

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Yes that was a surprise to most parents in the WIWIKAU group, they needed deposit for year 2 by November / December of term 1 (year 1)

Redhairandtubs · 03/09/2024 17:44

They'll be fine! They both have over £509 a month left after their rent is paid, that's plenty for food and other essentials. They can get a part time job if they need more than that. Parents are only expected to top up to the amount of the maximum loan. Yours are getting this because of the level of your income so no need for you to top up.

Blushingm · 03/09/2024 17:43

I'm in a similar situation - DD will get just over £12k loan but her accommodation is £317 per week which means she will have absolutely nothing left at all. My DSis has offered her £100 per month but I can't really afford anything so DD will need to work

Redlocks28 · 03/09/2024 17:43

Seilla · 03/09/2024 17:39

Yes it's 40 weeks and up in June.

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That’s good. Mine started looking for 2nd year houses in about November (they’d barely arrived!) as all the good ones were going! We then had to find a month’s deposit to secure the house and then the rent had to be paid from 1st July all summer, so just because the halls cost isn’t a full year, be aware than you might have to start paying out for the second year sooner than you think.

CoastalCalm · 03/09/2024 17:43

Loads of term time work available in University towns and cities and they will likely have a few gaps in their schedule

ThePure · 03/09/2024 17:43

When others say they are going to top up that's probably to make up to the full maintenance loan amount because they are subject to means testing and don't get it.

That's what I plan to do. Top up to the full maintenance loan amount but not beyond that. That's already a huge amount of money that I can only afford because of not having two at uni at once.

If I was in your situation and they were getting full loans then I would not give them any more. If I had anything to spare then I would continue to save for them eg by paying into a LISA.

historyrepeatz · 03/09/2024 17:42

Sorry posted too quick. Just trying to say that evening things up now may not really be evening things up if you see what I mean.

Zanatdy · 03/09/2024 17:41

Also my son lives off way less than £200 a month, so your kids have loads if they’ve got all that after rent. They will be loaded for students trust me.

historyrepeatz · 03/09/2024 17:41

DD may have more disposable income now but that's because she has a bigger loan so bigger debt. Her expenses will be much higher in that area.

Lampzade · 03/09/2024 17:40

Seilla · 03/09/2024 17:09

That's the issue not really, I won't get UC for them or child benefit anymore so I'm about to see my income drop down to just what I earn. Which while for just me is doable (I can walk to work so no car needed etc.) but after rent I have less than £1000 a month now for all bills including the kids phones and shopping + any clothes etc. and that is working 37 hours a week.

DD is going to be really far away and the trains are expensive so that might be an issue if she wants to come home. DS will be closer so not as bad.

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They seem to have enough to survive on. If not, they need to get part time jobs.
My three dcs are at uni and all have part time jobs as they only receive the minimum loan.
Mine worked during the summer and have saved up some money

Btw your dd should take a coach if she needs to come home

Original poster

Seilla · 03/09/2024 17:40

Suitcasesthree · 03/09/2024 17:37

After bills and food, I have about £800 left. They should have plenty. You sound like you've done a wonderful job getting them where they are.
I'd second care packages, rail cards and groceries. Oh and make sure dd has sanitary ware. That's one of the things I did without due to no money at university.

DD takes her pill back to back and hasn't had a period in over a year ... no idea if it's healthy but she refuses to take the placebo pills because "who would have a period if they didn't have to"

OP posts:

strangeandfamiliar · 03/09/2024 17:39

Sounds plenty to me OP.

Original poster

Seilla · 03/09/2024 17:39

Redlocks28 · 03/09/2024 17:36

If they’re getting the full loan, that’s fine.

Is the accommodation definitely for 9 months? Bear in mind that it’s often not for halls and will almost certainly not be for second/third year houses. We have had to pay £580 a month all summer on houses for each of my two at university ourselves as the student loans don’t come in till September and rent needs to be paid all year in private accommodation.

Yes it's 40 weeks and up in June.

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Original poster

Seilla · 03/09/2024 17:37

Delphiniumandlupins · 03/09/2024 17:33

My only thought might be to even up their 'disposable' income a bit? Although living in London will be more expensive than Newcastle so I'm not sure how you would calculate what is fair. You can't give them what you don't have and it doesn't look like they will starve, just have to learn to budget.

I'm not going to do this. I don't think it's fair, if they are getting more from me it will be the same, otherwise it will be "you give him money and not me".

OP posts:

Suitcasesthree · 03/09/2024 17:37

After bills and food, I have about £800 left. They should have plenty. You sound like you've done a wonderful job getting them where they are.
I'd second care packages, rail cards and groceries. Oh and make sure dd has sanitary ware. That's one of the things I did without due to no money at university.

Zanatdy · 03/09/2024 17:37

My son earned 5k in summer 1 working full time and 3.7k summer 2 at an internship

Zanatdy · 03/09/2024 17:37

As they are getting full loans I think it’s fine not to give any.

Redlocks28 · 03/09/2024 17:36

If they’re getting the full loan, that’s fine.

Is the accommodation definitely for 9 months? Bear in mind that it’s often not for halls and will almost certainly not be for second/third year houses. We have had to pay £580 a month all summer on houses for each of my two at university ourselves as the student loans don’t come in till September and rent needs to be paid all year in private accommodation.

Delphiniumandlupins · 03/09/2024 17:33

My only thought might be to even up their 'disposable' income a bit? Although living in London will be more expensive than Newcastle so I'm not sure how you would calculate what is fair. You can't give them what you don't have and it doesn't look like they will starve, just have to learn to budget.

mondaytosunday · 03/09/2024 17:32

Sounds like they'll have plenty.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 03/09/2024 17:31

@Seilla

Sorry, I got them the wrong way round. 🙃