Not giving my kids money while at uni

That’s an insane amount for a student. I’d be encouraging them to save as much as possible of that amount which is more than most have to live on, as they’ll have to pay it back one day.
Dd gets minimum loan of £4000 or whatever to live off, which is £333 over 12 months and dh and I pay her rent. She works during holidays. That’s it.

£732 is a massive amount per month left after rent! That's what £180 a week for one person??

We only qualify for the basic, so have to pay a good chunk towards accomodation. They've saved and have about £100 per week for food and other outgoings as we can't pay this aswell - £100 is still a lot.

They had to choose cheaper unis, London wasn't an option because of the accomodation costs, DD in particular would have loved London.
Not quite sure what I'm reading...new macbooks too 🤣 We bought second hand laptops from CEX.

My 3rd is at Uni now...I am a single parent on a low income and mine have managed fine without any help from me...they all worked in the holidays etc.

If it's the same pill as mine is on then yes completely safe. We discussed it with the Dr because she has hormonal issues and bad periods. On the actual question you asked.. I went to uni and never expected anything from my parents. I worked to pay off my interest free overdraft during the holidays (shelf stacking and food delivery). However when I went back home at end of term, mum and dad paid for my food whilst I was back there and would occasionally give me a tenner, or dad would buy a crate of beers for me and my housemates to share. As long as you treat them equally then I can't see the problem.

Save your money for the holidays. If they struggle to get jobs, you might need to feed them with no contributions from them, at least for a bit (I know you said DD’s job would have her back but that’s not a guarantee).

Think about trains as well - if they want to come home for Xmas or for a weekend in term time, they could be looking at £100s in rail fares. They might need your help then.

As far as term time goes, they’ll be fine. They can look for jobs, live on pasta, shop secondhand. Most of us did that.

Sounds to me as if you're no better off than your student DC, all things considered. I think they'll do just fine on their loans, and they can work if they feel they need more.

I wasn't able to so I didn't - they were all fine.

Will they also get a bursary?

My dd is just going into her 3rd year. I’m a single parent with no income (carer for disabled dd) so I can’t afford to top up dd1’s loan. She lives pretty frugally, doesn’t drink or go out much. It is doable. If they want more money they can find a part time job.

I gave £100 per month each which was basically their pocket money. Their maintenance loan cover accommodation (just) and they worked to top income up

£732 is more than what I currently have left over after rent and bills, and I do fine. God as a student I’m sure I lived off about £25/30 a week and did absolutely fine (only a few years ago too).

I don't think you need to worry. My son is at uni and gets minimum loan, which we top up to the equivalent of the maximum loan (as advised by Martin Lewis) so he effectively has the same as your kids. He's actually ended up quite comfortably off through being sensible with budgeting and going for the second cheapest accommodation option.

It's tempting to give him less this year but I won't because firstly we are lucky enough to afford it and secondly I don't want to punish him for being prudent!

London will be tighter but the bursaries other posters have mentioned will help.

I only contributed monthly, once they had part time, term time jobs themselves. ( except for a few weeks grace at the start of uni).

They'll be fine - mine manage fine on less. Don't give them any more, but you could send them the odd treat from time to time - eg: M&S voucher for 'posh' food - mine love that sort of thing. If you'll be home alone remember to claim the 25% single person's council tax discount. Your electricity/ gas prices will go down a fair bit too (no more epic teen showers!) and your food bills will plummet!

Worst thing is finding the deposit for next year's accomodation just after xmas, and taking on all the issues associated with being a guarantor.

As a student I put in pretty much full-time hours during term time (terms are short!). My better students will do the same. They probably won't put in 9-5 Mon-Friday, it may be 4pm until midnight, or weekend study, but the hours will be there. Most of them can afford not to do paid work during term time - notably the ones on lower incomes as they get the full loan plus grants. If their parents unexpectedly fail to pay what they are supposed to then there are emergency hardship funds to apply for. It's also perfectly possible to put in full time jobs and a day's part-time work if need be. My son isn't at Oxford and has a part-time job as his course is less intense.

Check that there aren't any bursaries they can claim, sometimes there are ones for things like having parents that never went to university or being a young carer, just look on the university website.

I wouldn't OP, it sounds like they have plenty and you've done a fab job!

DS is on minimum loan so we are topping up the accommodation by about £3k a year and giving food/travel money each week, plus continuing to pay car insurance and phone bill.

He is going to have less spare cash than your two each month, and is not concerned, he knows he will have to get a PT job for beer money!

Honestly the best thing you can do is sit down with them and give them a basics budget spreadsheet.
Give them a reasonable dry stock shop beforehand tinned soup, pasta, rice, frozen veg and some tins of tuna etc but whilst your doing it get them to add up as they are going around so they can see how much a shop costs.

In my uni house we all worked from about 6 weeks in and it was a good learning curve of managing time and essays. It also made me a very hard worker and the ability to juggle tasks! This was doing a science course so 30 hours including lab time without essays on top.

It's not a bad thing not to give them top ups and it teaches valuable life skills early on!

I got full loan and worked, perfectly doable where I was and I had enough disposable. It was my friends reliant on parental contributions and less loan who struggled. I also think part of student experience should be deciding to blow your last £10 on cheap booze/take out then living off beans and toast for a few days! It's how we grow, live and learn. Students don't need to dine like Kings all the time
Most universities also have a hardship fund. If they do find themselves struggling they can apply for grants which aren't repayable. Additionally make most of student overdraft facilities. They work on an interest free taper rate basis.. so students don't acquire debt as such and have a good 18 months usually post graduation to be out of it before interest incurs. Definitely look into it

If they work (and there is always PT bar work in uni towns) they will be fine. Then the occasional treat you send them like a train fare or a £40 Tesco shop with some wine/beer will mean a lot more than them relying on you to get by.

Don't forget university related work - my DD was sponsored by her uni aerobics society to train as an Exercise to Music instructor. That earned her an extra £80 most weeks and has continued as a profitable side hustle for many more years. She also had work as a freshers support worker in her third year. Not a lot of money but when you are at uni £10 goes a long way.

Perfectly reasonable not to give any more. You might do them a shop once in a while. I suspect you are not charging them rent/asking only a small rent in the vaccations either, so that's a huge help too.

I'm not trying to be goady with people who do pay for their children, each to their own. But until Mumsnet I didn't realise it was a 'thing' outside of the super rich who are bankrolled by their parents in general. It's nice for those who can afford to help out, but I genuinely didn't realise the scope of how many parents are doing this until I read some of the many threads from parents like the OP who are worried about affording this financial support. It's something I genuinely didn't realise happened.

Maybe you could do them one big shop when you drop them off.

When I was at uni many years ago used to get national express from Newcastle to London. Less than £15 one way

@PeapodBurgundy

Nuts isn't it. People still look at me like an alien when I say I held down three jobs at university from 2008-2011. Two were term time (one for the university, the other a zero hours contract in retail) and the holiday job was in a pub. I made more than enough that I actually had money left some terms and still left the place a couple of marks off a first class degree.