Not giving my kids money while at uni

Mine were students at universities away from home in the 90’s and early 00’s - their financial situations were all different due to location etc.
yours will be fine, they sound very well grounded and hardworking. And will appreciate the experience more if it’s not all handed to them on a plate - one of mine was at university with an exceptionally wealthy friend who spent money like water as he was financed well by parents. My son said he was the exception rather than the rule.

I made mine up to the maximum loan ( which was financially challenging but just about possible), they all had a job of some sort and worked through the summer. I did a big food/toiletries/laundry stuff shop when I visited and I think it was in the days of top up phone cards so bought them one of those occasionally.
Obviously it is harder for you as you will have 2 there at the same time.
The only other contribution I made was to pay for one to continue his contact lens usage throughout university.

We pay a little towards rent each month as my dd has a high cost to pay and she doesn’t qualify for much loan. I also give her a monthly food budget.
I think it’s based on what you can afford to give, and it’s ok to expect them to work in a little job outside their uni days.

My son is just about to go to uni. I’m going to pay his phone, car loan and car insurance.

I lived off my student loan and got a bar job in the second and third year and worked in holidays. In the first year I went inter railing in the summer holiday and had a little help towards that.

One of my friends mums made him meals in foil trays with cooking instructions.

Didn't really have any help with any extras like store cupboard shop, birthdays, clothes, haircuts and I survived.

You didn't pay fees, and living was much cheaper.

My mum contributed nothing went I went to uni. She couldn't afford to and that was fine with me. I had a part time job and managed just fine. I don't understand why parents feel that they should give their kids so much when they go to uni. They are over 18 and no one forces them to go.

So do private rentals for students only work on a term-time basis in London and landlords leave the house sitting empty making no money all summer?

Many students go into private rentals on July 1st.

I knew absolutely no one who did this in london. Its far too expensive for students to afford to. They all go home for summer.

That’s fine - like others have said, they can get jobs. Not every parent on Mumsnet has a huge amount of disposable income to give to their kids and the amount of money your kids have left over after is relatively large.

YANBU. My mum gave me £20 when I left for uni it did me no harm like your kids I worked through last year of school and the summer. Once my savings started to dwindle 6 months in I got a pt job as my 1st year was mainly coursework that was all completed and only had 1 exam and a project after that.

It clearly taught me good life lessons I saved and bought my own flat, have never been in debt etc

My child gets about £5550 loan. This just covers her rent. We will be sending her about £160 a month for food, plus doing a big shop every so often. She isn't living too far away and has a job here so if she is unable to get a job where she is she will be coming back occasionally to work and raise money. We are buying her stuff for uni, she's on a budget for that.

Yours have a lot of income, I wouldn't be tipping it up if I was you

Our DC is off to Kings London. Doesn’t get the full loan so we are feeling like we will be paying part of accommodation costs. I thought the Kings accommodation was well organised compared to some of his friends. Our main worry is getting there up public transport with all the accumulated stuff.

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.
When they start if payments of rent and deposits leave them without enough for basic needs, they should go to the uni to ask about availability of hardship funds and loans.

Totally case by case based on what you can afford. My parents did fund me through it, others of friends did not. Do what you can afford within reason. Don’t feel bad for not giving more than you think is necessary — they do have maintenance loan to help. You can only do so much!

we also have twins at uni and dont fibe them anything. they work evenings and have their loans.

They should be fine with max loan and may also be eligible for a bursary from Uni in addition to this.

My DD is going to London- she only qualified for the minimum loan and this only covers half of her accommodation costs. We can't afford to give her as much as your DD will have to live on in London. She's hoping to live on about £500 a month.

@Seilla make sure she gets a young person's Railcard.

She also needs to get wise with train booking. 12 weeks ahead is best. She'll get a much better deal with some planning.

I always thought that struggling at uni was almost a rite of passage.
My daily diet at uni consisted of jacket potatoes, cheese, tuna and baked beans.
These days the students expect to have a more luxurious student experience

I don't parent by committee but I don't feel that isn't great.

I pay for my dc food and their phone bill and I have two at uni. Plus I paid for all their stuff to get set up for going.

Mine get full maintenance and two lots of extra money as well btw.

We know Wales has a much fairer system but unfortunately the OPs teens aren’t from Wales.

You have made me so grateful that my 3 got full grants! Us oldies should realise how lucky we were. OP good luck to your two!

If you were saying you weren't giving them anything because you've spent all your money on gigalos or round the world cruises that might be an issue, but if you haven't got it to give then of course YANBU.

400 years ago when I went me and dsis got taken for a big shop at the start of each term and money for a return train ticket. Oh and our lovely Granny would always send us phone cards (remember them?!).

Yes, it is on that assumption, but the maths is based on years ago and hasn’t kept up with the actual cost of living. The students on the full loan, who come from the poorest families, aren’t able to cover all of their basic costs. So they pretty much all need jobs.

(Just wanted to congratulate you on raising two kids who you have sent to uni. Couldn’t have been easy without much input from their father. They seem like great kids and have worked to save some money whilst studying.)