Not giving my kids money while at uni

I'm not saying they are. But they don't exist in some small university cities so you have to rent a terrace or 60s/70s semi for 52 weeks in your second year. There are no options for purpose built student flats with bills included.

I'm from the student grant era, and they were means tested too with parents who earned enough expected to top up the grants. The students who struggled most were those with parents who didn't see why they should contribute.

My parents gave me diddly squat. I lived off free cup a soups gifted to me by a friend while I waited for my grant and loan. I was penniless.

Looking back now I should have been terrified. A new city at the other end of the country. No contact with my mum due to her abusive partner who had hit me and once shoved his hand up my skirt.. No contact with my dad who was completely unstable and emotionally abusive.

I wasn't scared though. I was free and happy despite being brassic. I think it was because my then boyfriend now DH was in the same city. I knew he would have my back if anything was badly wrong. I knew if I asked him to feed me he would, even though I hid how broke I was so he didnt feel he had to look after me. I can still remember him making me cream cheese and crisp sandwiches to this day.

That's the most important support, knowing that someone is there to catch you if you fall. Knowing you have a safety net.

You may not be able to help them financially, but having you as a supportive mum is worth so much. Often the things that are the most valuable can't be measured financially.

The village units are private rentals. They are not owned by the uni

None of the 5 I applied to had student villages as the majority aren't campus unis. I went to Durham which is already full of college accommodation for first years and finalists plus townhouses housing different departments. I don't even know where you'd put another 3000 2nd years if not in the existing private rentals.

Do other unis not have student villages? My ds was never in halls but spent year 1 and 2 living in the student village. Think he paid £113 a week last year but that's for 48 weeks And he stayed there throughout most of summer as was working in uni town. He didn't see the point of coming to stay at home to do nothing when his life is there

I didn't give DS money at uni. Tbh we got the household " stuff" he needed from people giving it away , bootsales and old bits from home.

He had worked since 16 and had quite a but of savings. He also had a car ( old banger) to run.

He's done 2 years now and managing perfectly fine. Just moved into a ( non student) flat with his girlfriend while he does the 3rd year.

Well done both getting in to University. I bet you're so proud.

Looking at the calculations they will have just enough to get by if they budget carefully. If they decide to get a part time job they'll have a little more disposable income & won't go without.

Most Universities have Hardship funding for students who may struggle financially. If they do find they can't cover basic living costs ask them to contact their Student Wellbeing departments & query what they may be eligible to apply for in regards to emergency loans or hardship awards.

If you can afford to give them a boost payment now & then or when they come home for holidays send them back with food parcels to save them on grocery bills. Stock up on toiletries for them, things like toilet rolls, toothpaste etc things 'kids' don't realise don't just appear in the bathroom like they do at home.

We are not in London either and a 7 hour drive from the uni or a 70 min + drive to the nearest airport in traffic 🙂

With your financial circumstances I definitely dont think you should give them more. I might occasionally give them a bag of groceries or some toiletries or something but nothing regular or formal

That's really convenient, she won't need to travel to her lectures as one block is opposite the Hall and most of the other main buildings are just over Waterloo Bridge.

Similar position here. I pay for all travel costs to come home otherwise they might have a disincentive to visit me lol. I pay for everything in the holidays, tiny phone contract amount, occasional holiday or weekend with family, and a shop if I visit.

I do say that if a financial emergency comes up to let me know, and I’ll help, but I ignore any hints dropped re new phones etc unless it’s a birthday or Christmas gift.

Their maintenance loan has been assessed based on your salary which is why they have more than most. Other people are giving their kids regular money because it's been assessed that they can afford it based on their salary. Don't compare yourself.
I think you have already helped them out financially with the trust fund etc, and they sound financially savvy, so I would say you shouldn't feel a need to help out more now. £24K is not a large salary, so I'm sure you'll need it all.

@Seilla
Our dd is going to Kings too.
Has your dd applied for an 18+ Oyster card as this saves on transport costs for students living in London and if she has an 18-25 railcard that can be linked at main stations in person to get extra discount.
Which accommodation is your dd in ?

Not all parents can afford it. Even those whose kids aren’t entitled to loans etc. circumstances are all different. I was at uni in the mid-late 90s. My parents both had income so I wasn’t entitled to a grant. They were meant to contribute the grant amount instead. We had our fees paid back then though. Their contribution wasn’t really enough to live on and I did take the student loans. They were available to everyone and weren’t loads. I then also took on a part time job as well. It was tricky. Most student timetables are only about 16 hours a week if doing a regular subject degree. But I was doing teaching so was timetabled 9-5 everyday. Same with nurses and those doing other practical courses. So working was evenings stacking shelves. All good for personal development though.

Surely very few students run cars?? Certainly not in London!

Sorry - ignore this. Just realised you were saying what you did rather than what the OP should do. The "I would" was ambiguous!

They could actually get a p/t job, my son did to top up.

If they are staying with you in the summer I would let them stay free not really costing you much more so that can be your help. You could budget some ‘emergency’ support money if they need it rather than give them some they come to rely on. Some courses need money for trips or equipment, again you could support with the exceptional stuff.

Be proud your chicks have fledged ( almost)!

I got no money from my parents when I went to uni. I was the only one out of my friends who got no financial support. I worked while studying and whenever I went home my mum would pay for a big grocery shop to take back with me.
I definitely did struggle at times and had to miss out on some social activities. But it certainly taught me a lot about managing expenses and living within my means!

They sound like great kids who have worked hard and saved and you have done a great job supporting them to do that. I’d wait and see and if they come unstuck later you sound like the sort of parent who would do your best to help them. I think they’ll be more than fine. Well done!

Do students not work any more? I had a job in the holidays and a job at weekends while at uni, as did the vast majority of my peers. Only people with well off parents got pocket money. You are a very low earner. They should be fine with the money they have and if they need more then they get jobs.

I'd pay for DD to have monthly travel in London unless her halls are near KCL. It's reassuring to be able to catch a night bus or tube to stay safe.

Well done you for getting them this far. As others have said they’ll be fine on that budget. And in terms of coming home to visit there’s often lift sharing/ spare train tickets advertised at unis which can be cheap/ free.

Not at all unreasonable.
I'm in the same position but just one ds currently at uni. He came home with over £1000 left at the end of year one, he had less money to go with than yours did as no GP money etc and less trust fund amount.