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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel DDs party this Sunday?

338 replies

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 14:49

DD is 3 and we’re having a party for her in 2 weeks time. Have spent about £1000 on venue hire, entertainment etc.

Originally had 25 kids confirmed as coming and this has now dropped down to 9.

Should we cancel?

IABU - no don’t canxel
YANBU - cancel

OP posts:
FanFckingTastic · 03/09/2024 17:32

OP you've spent the money on the party in order to celebrate your little ones birthday and to make her smile. She will have a fab time whether there are 9 people attending or 90. Just go ahead, more cake for you and the people that are coming!

EC22 · 03/09/2024 17:30

Can’t think why you’d cancel if no refund.
The 9 kids should make the most of it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/09/2024 17:29

If you can’t get your money back, go ahead with the people coming.

Orchidflower1 · 03/09/2024 17:29

Money aside@Partydilemma48293 i think it says you don’t value the children who have replied to come if you cancel. I’m sure they’ll all have fun.

I hope the part goes really well. 🎉🥳🎊

pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 17:28

But I think if you have the money it is up to you what you spend it on. People shouldn't give you a hard time for that. That wasn't your question. And it's rubbish that so many dropped out. People who do that for no good reason drive me crazy. I just don't get it.

Lostinbrum · 03/09/2024 17:25

Don't know why people are sticking the knife in. You'll all have a lovely time OP and so will your daughter. You live and learn and just chalk it up to experience I guess. Or if you really enjoy it and can afford it do it every year! Hope it all goes well for you anyway

Doseofreality · 03/09/2024 17:25

YABU for spending £1k on a three year old’s birthday party when they would be happy with a Peppa Pig Balloon, some bubbles and a cake.

pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 17:24

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 16:35

I did enquire at a nice soft play near us. They offer a package for up to 20 children, food, host etc. and it was £1200…

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Do you have link? Name of the soft play? I've never heard of a soft play party costing anywhere near £60 a head!!

I did my 50th birthday party for £30 a head (admittedly for 100 people) and that included cocktails and champagne!

BirthdayRainbow · 03/09/2024 17:22

That's is such a ridiculous amount of money for a child who would be happy with a handful of friends, pass the parcel and a cake.

Wonderfulstuff · 03/09/2024 17:21

Erm £1k for a 3 year olds party? Are you thinking of cancelling because it won't look so good on the 'gram?

Don't most people just do cake with a few family members/close friends at that age?

Jellybeanbag · 03/09/2024 17:21

Its up to the OP how much she wants to spend, why are people so triggered?

OP, why did so many people cancel after initially accepting the invitation? I'm curious about that!

Lemonadeand · 03/09/2024 17:18

I would message other parents I randomly know from various WhatsApp groups (swimming class etc) and say… feeling terrible, been totally last minute with invites to DCs party, if anyone’s free on Sunday and fancies two hours of soft play for your kids please do come, the more the merrier!

Flibflobflibflob · 03/09/2024 17:17

Ah it’s a bit shit OP, I went to a few parties where only 5 or 6 kids out of 22 turned up at that age. Some just invited friends, family, neighbours etc too. Go ahead, she’ll have fun and honestly you may find that some of those families that turn up become good friends. We had a core group that would always attend parties and we stayed in touch after the kids left nursery.

Honestly your DD will still have lots of fun, don’t cancel it.

Lemonadeand · 03/09/2024 17:15

Thatmissingsock · 03/09/2024 15:15

I thought a good rule of thumb for preschooler parties is to invite the number of kids which = their age plus one? Eh for a 3 year old 4 kids.
Most 3 year olds will find a party of 25 kids complete overload and will just sit on the floor and cry!

I thought it was sort of the opposite to this- you have big, whole class parties when they’re young and then a smaller group of friends when they’re teenagers?

coxesorangepippin · 03/09/2024 17:15

We are Cheshire - I suppose a lot of people put on nice parties for their DC here

^

Indeed

One of the finer Shires

coxesorangepippin · 03/09/2024 17:14

'Serveware'

I've heard it all

5128gap · 03/09/2024 17:14

Don't cancel. It will be lovely for the DC to have all that space and equipment for just ten of them. Nicer for DD than a bigger rowdier group. It'll be great.

MiddleSock · 03/09/2024 17:13

If you can’t get the money back have the party and invite more people. Your DD will still have a great time with 9 or 25

Spomb · 03/09/2024 17:13

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 16:45

We are Cheshire - I suppose a lot of people put on nice parties for their DC here. I wouldn’t say they are tacky or cheap though?

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Ah, I see, yes probably just a location thing.

mushypaperstraws · 03/09/2024 17:08

Just start inviting more people if your can't get your money back. The party sounds amazing

jannier · 03/09/2024 17:07

Kitkat1523 · 03/09/2024 16:00

It will be one of them flashy fuck off balloon arches ….which at 3 will not be appreciated anymore than blowing up 20 balloons from home bargain and throwing them round the room

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My friend was quoted £550 for an arch for a 21st....did it herself from Amazon really easy cost less than £100

Dollmeup · 03/09/2024 17:06

Don't cancel, you might get some who still rsvp really close to the time. 9 is still a decent number for a party but I'd contact the parents and ask if they would like to bring siblings too. Mine are close in age so would happily go along even if they don't actually know the kid and it actually makes things easier as I don't have to arrange alternative childcare for the other one.

jannier · 03/09/2024 17:05

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:47

Also £100 for a cake!

Why just why I you can't beat Colin

jannier · 03/09/2024 17:04

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

Wow.....can you cancel the decor and plates? Next time DIY.
I have parties for 30 kids it costs about £400 hall, bouncy castles, etc.

thursdaymurderclub · 03/09/2024 17:03

£1000... did i read that right? one thousand pounds? for a 3 year old? To be fair if you can afford to spend that much on a 3 year olds party, then the numbers are irrelevant. your DD will have as much fun with the 9 as they would have had with the 25 invited.

why cancel? its your DD's birthday party! its for HER birthday and more fool you for spending that kind of money without guarantee's of refunds. by cancelling you are telling the 9 that are coming that they are way less important than the 16 that have dropped out!

great way to treat your DD that is.