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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel DDs party this Sunday?

338 replies

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 14:49

DD is 3 and we’re having a party for her in 2 weeks time. Have spent about £1000 on venue hire, entertainment etc.

Originally had 25 kids confirmed as coming and this has now dropped down to 9.

Should we cancel?

IABU - no don’t canxel
YANBU - cancel

OP posts:
pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 21:58

jannier · 03/09/2024 21:05

Poor deprived son all those Colin's missed.

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Yes I took pity on him eventually. Tragic really.

Dramatic · 03/09/2024 21:50

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 16:50

This was the party package offered by the nice soft play local to us.

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I can only imagine they are cashing in on the parents in an affluent area, I've never heard of a soft play charging more than £15 a head.

Orangeoranges42 · 03/09/2024 21:48

Sounds wonderful. If you can afford to splash out then why not.

can you extend the invite to a couple of the attendees siblings? Or other children you know?

LlynTegid · 03/09/2024 21:44

I think you have made the right decision to go ahead, though consider it extravagant. I hope you can be modest in future, it will do your child no harm.

1AngelicFruitCake · 03/09/2024 21:31

OP you’ve been very reflective on this thread (which isn’t easy!)

My concern with spending £1000 is you’ll have to keep it up and your daughter would probably enjoy a cheaper party and an annual pass for you all than all that on a party.

on one of my children’s party I spent
£50 room hire
£200 entertainer
£30 balloons and decorations
£15 cups/plates/serviettes
£20 cake
£30 party bags

Party for 25 children

bluedelphiniums · 03/09/2024 21:27

TomatoSandwiches · 03/09/2024 15:52

Yes absolutely cancel the non refundable £1k party, you seem inclined to make ridiculous decisions so why change?

What a vile comment.

ColumboTheBestDetective · 03/09/2024 21:23

Good Lord. I live in an expensive part of the country, but you can get every single thing on that list (apart from the 'decor to match...' - what does that even mean??) for just under £15 per child.

OP whether you can afford it or not, you've been 'had'. And if you are doing this for you (not even your DC, who won't ever remember it) what on earth are you going to spend for their 4th, 5th, 6th...

Sometimes less really is more, you know.

Diecast · 03/09/2024 21:18

Bigearringsbigsmile · 03/09/2024 20:04

I organised a 21st birthday party for my son. Venue, food, decorations, and a FREE BAR only came to just over a thousand pounds! You must be mad!

But other people would think you were mad for spending that on a party - why so judgemental?

faffadoodledo · 03/09/2024 21:14

Maybe OP wanted to buy a handmade cake which wasn't stuffed full of unfathomable ingredients. Maybe she wanted to buy a beautiful cake made by someone like a young friend of mine who makes a living making bespoke cakes. Rather than supporting a large corporation.

Valid reasons to spend £100. My you g friend charges similar because she uses the best ingredients and quite rightly wants to get paid for the hours of work her creations take.

Blimey. It's not that hard to fathom why someone who can afford it would spend that sum!

TheShellBeach · 03/09/2024 21:10

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:47

Also £100 for a cake!

You can buy cakes from supermarkets for a tenner, OP.

OrwellianTimes · 03/09/2024 21:07

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

You’re not going to get refunds on any of that.

Money is already spent- crack on and have the party. Do something simpler next year and do a treat day instead

jannier · 03/09/2024 21:05

pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 20:45

I think I got my son his first Colin for his 18th!

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Poor deprived son all those Colin's missed.

ThePrologue · 03/09/2024 21:04

A grand. On a 3 years old?
My things have changed

ClairDeLaLune · 03/09/2024 21:03

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

With £250 on balloons??? 😂😂😂 that’s insane OP! What a total waste of money. My kids don’t really remember much about when they were 3. Bet all the other parents will be jealous though which is probably what you’re aiming for.

BeardOToots · 03/09/2024 21:02

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 18:02

The idea of cancelling was because I didn’t want the party to feel awkward! I don’t want it to look like I have gone too OTT for the small number of people there.

‘Look like’ to who though?

Pogpog21 · 03/09/2024 20:56

Ps ignore people saying it will be OTT. Frankly people won’t know how much you spent on balloons and decor (agreed from me that it was an overspend). Most parties at halls cost a few hundred quid and cakes cost between 60-150 depending on what you are getting. X

luckylavender · 03/09/2024 20:56

Dontjudgeme101 · 03/09/2024 15:47

It’s up to the op what she spends on her child’s birthday. I wouldn’t cancel, but see if the children invited want to bring a sibling instead.

This

luckylavender · 03/09/2024 20:55

ginasevern · 03/09/2024 15:21

Why on earth have you spent £1,000 on a party for a 3 year old.

If you can't say something nice, always better to say nothing.

Pogpog21 · 03/09/2024 20:55

Aww at that age 9 little ones will feel lots! But u still have 2 weeks so can ask nursery class or others if you want more numbers?

you should definitely go ahead and it’ll be fabulous!

Plmnki · 03/09/2024 20:52

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 18:02

The idea of cancelling was because I didn’t want the party to feel awkward! I don’t want it to look like I have gone too OTT for the small number of people there.

I think that ship may have sailed already, OP.

iamtheblcksheep · 03/09/2024 20:47

Poor OP. She committed the ultimate MN sin…admitting you got off your arse and did ok for yourself. I hope your daughter enjoys her day OP.

pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 20:45

PalmRotal · 03/09/2024 19:52

Colin has become a family tradition for us, even the 19 year old still expects one 😁

Show quote history

I think I got my son his first Colin for his 18th!

Nazzywish · 03/09/2024 20:45

If there's no refund then why cancel. Go ahead invite siblings and open it up to parents etc or those vague friends you never got around to inviting. Heck neighbours if you speak to them.
And for those saying 3 yr old party blah blah....every parent makes that mistake at least once- usually with first - usually this young and you learn , OP got her lesson and get it's no need to make her feel even worse. Op these all class pstties are best saved for yr 1 when they'll be with their classmates for a few years. But equally I'd now always opt for spending that money on a day out even treating a few friends alongside on day out etc. Much more enjoyable and changes it up for the kids.

Dita73 · 03/09/2024 20:43

Go ahead with it. You’ll all have a great time. Also if you want to spend a £1000 on a party then bloody good luck to you. It’s no one else’s business what you do with your money.

RBush22 · 03/09/2024 20:42

Don’t cancel. Similar situation with me - you could message the ones coming saying that siblings are welcome. Also maybe invite some last minute people? We had 10 come to ours and actually was nice as DD wasn’t intimated by the noise and numbers. Had invited about 20 too, and had some rude enough not to show up after RSVPing yes (also count on that!)