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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel DDs party this Sunday?

338 replies

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 14:49

DD is 3 and we’re having a party for her in 2 weeks time. Have spent about £1000 on venue hire, entertainment etc.

Originally had 25 kids confirmed as coming and this has now dropped down to 9.

Should we cancel?

IABU - no don’t canxel
YANBU - cancel

OP posts:
Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 15:45

For people saying that £1000 is far too much, we’ve spent:

£180 hall hire
£300 decor and partyware
£100 bouncy castle
£250 giant ball pit with slides

and then food and party bags.

OP posts:
pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 15:43

Unless you think the party would actually be nicer transferred to your home given the small number. Which is quite possible. But might be a hassle to organize at this point.

pinkspeakers · 03/09/2024 15:42

I think everyone involved with have much nicer time with just 9 kids than with 25. 25 kids for a 3 year old's party sounds like a nightmare!!

crumblingschools · 03/09/2024 15:41

Well you will know for next year, don't spend so much!

Seas164 · 03/09/2024 15:41

You can't get your money back, so what would be the thinking around cancelling it? That better be one hell of a game of pass the parcel for £100 per head.

Runnerinthenight · 03/09/2024 15:40

You're mad spending that amount of money on a party for a 3 year old!!!

Pickwickbasketcase · 03/09/2024 15:32

9 is a great number - def go ahead

PeloMom · 03/09/2024 15:27

I’d go ahead- I found at this age smaller crowd of kids was a lot less overwhelming and more fun for the kid.

RoaryLion1 · 03/09/2024 15:27

Don’t cancel, the party will be fine. We just had a party for my 3 year old DS with 12 kids there (including him). It was totally fine with those numbers - we’d hired a hall and bouncy castle and everyone had a great time. 25 kids would have been chaos and waaaay too much for my DS at that age.

AliceMcK · 03/09/2024 15:26

I have to start with £1000 is ridiculous, I’m saying this as someone who spoils their children on their birthdays and throws big parties.

As for the party, go ahead with it. Open it to siblings, invite friends kids along. Your dd is 3 she won’t know or care.

Beautiful3 · 03/09/2024 15:25

9 kids and the birthday girl will have a fabulous time. Don't cancel it.

Kitkat1523 · 03/09/2024 15:25

Partydilemma48293 · 03/09/2024 14:54

No refund unfortunately.

Just go ahead then don’t waste it….but ridiculous amount of money to spend on a 3 year olds party

SpringKitten · 03/09/2024 15:23

I’d go ahead.

Try not to feel disappointed - some of the best parties are smaller ones.

I always try so hard not to cancel on parties, as I know what a horrible nuisance it is and how upsetting for whoever organised. I’d definitely approach nursery / siblings of kids who have accepted / neighbours and see if there are any kids who’d like to come, who your dc can vaguely claim any connection with!
I would be brazen about this and say “I’ve organised a nice party for ds and 25 people originally accepted but now all but 9 have pulled out. It’s going to be lots of fun and - you don’t need to worry about a gift, but it would be lovely if you can make it although it is short notice!”

You’ll find most people do bring a gift 😁

Around this age my dc spent their entire party with their closest couple of friends. In fairness until age 6 my ds really only wanted his bf , everyone else was just there to create atmosphere!

ginasevern · 03/09/2024 15:21

Why on earth have you spent £1,000 on a party for a 3 year old.

alrightluv · 03/09/2024 15:21

I agree invite siblings.

How odd of people to be declining now?

Tdcp · 03/09/2024 15:18

I mean, money aside, your daughter will have a great time with 9 of her friends at her birthday party. Numbers don't matter when they're 3, they'll be happy running around and playing.

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 03/09/2024 15:17

A GRAND?? Id open it up to her entire nursery etc considering you can’t get a refund. I’m assuming its in a hall or something, and 9 kids for a grand in a hall will sting and not have much of an atmosphere.

TotHappy · 03/09/2024 15:15

Why would you cancel? What's the activity, will it not work with only 9 - e.g. did you plan a full cricket match?!

Thatmissingsock · 03/09/2024 15:15

I thought a good rule of thumb for preschooler parties is to invite the number of kids which = their age plus one? Eh for a 3 year old 4 kids.
Most 3 year olds will find a party of 25 kids complete overload and will just sit on the floor and cry!

tolerable · 03/09/2024 15:12

can you perhaps extend the invitations to the 9s bros/sisters?ask a parent to stay with xtra kids...

Londonrach1 · 03/09/2024 15:08

Don't cancel if you can't get the money back. Can you invite others now...

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 03/09/2024 15:06

I would also invite siblings of the kids that are attending and maybe if you have any little neighbours or friends with DCs who aren’t necessarily friends of your DD. May as well make the most of it. Cancelling is just punishing your DD and all the ones who have committed to come, who may well be excited and have bought gifts etc already.

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 03/09/2024 15:06

sorry double posted

Hatfullofwillow · 03/09/2024 15:01

10 kids should be enough for a party, maybe ask the other 9 guests if they have siblings that would like to attend.

I hope you go ahead and DD has a lovely time.

NoraLuka · 03/09/2024 14:59

9 kids is enough for quite a good party, we never invited more than that because that’s how many we could comfortably fit in the house.

What kind of venue is it? If it’s in a massive room is there any way to downsize a bit?