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AIBU?

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Did I do the wrong thing?

106 replies

BurtTheDurt · 03/09/2024 10:24

Last week I was on the train, it was a few stops until it terminated. A group of 3 girls got on, I’d guess they were barely into their teens. It was busy so I was stood near the door, about 8 feet away. A ticket inspector who had been making his way down asked for their tickets which they showed to him. It quickly became clear they’d been bought the tickets by an adult which means they’re cheaper but the adult wasn’t accompanying them. The inspector began really telling them off, saying they would need to get off at the next stop or give their details. I could see they were panicking and one became tearful. I decided in the moment to step forward and say I was with them and that I’d moved further up so they could chat without me overhearing. The inspector seemed a bit annoyed but moved on. The girls thanked me and I moved back to my original spot.

I mentioned this to a family member in passing when we met for lunch. They said I shouldn’t have interfered and why would I approach a group of teenage girls anyway (I’m 41F with my own teen DD if it makes any difference. I thought I was being helpful and I’d honestly hope someone else would do the same if it was my DD. Did I overstep here?

OP posts:
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Todaywasbetter · 11/01/2025 13:17

Reading about Your act of kindness has helped me on a very hard day. Thank you.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 08/09/2024 09:50

unsync · 08/09/2024 06:00

🙄 Gender is a social construct. It's always about the men isn't it? Careful, your misogyny is showing. I would suggest you educate yourself about violence against women and girls.

Wtf?

It's not misogyny to say that no-one should be abandoned somewhere they don't know and the correctly point out that men are at risk from other men

I never said women weren't at risk

I suggest you educate yourself about male on male violence (they are more likely to be attacked at random in the street, for example)

unsync · 08/09/2024 06:00

MartinCrieffsLemon · 07/09/2024 22:04

No-one should be
Gender regardless
Young men, for example, are vulnerable to other young men
Males can be disabled and completely thrown by being abandoned somewhere unknown

🙄 Gender is a social construct. It's always about the men isn't it? Careful, your misogyny is showing. I would suggest you educate yourself about violence against women and girls.

Northernladdette · 07/09/2024 23:43

BurtTheDurt · 07/09/2024 18:05

I don’t know the exact reason, they just are. Look it up on the greater Anglia website if you like? I just buy the tickets and go on about my business

It was a simple question 🙄
Though tbf, on this occasion, by your own admittance, you didn’t just ‘buy my tickets and get on with my business’ did you?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 07/09/2024 22:04

unsync · 07/09/2024 17:27

Irrespective of the rights or wrongs, girls and women should not just be ejected from public transport into a possibly unfamiliar environment. Do men just not pay any attention to the news?

No-one should be
Gender regardless
Young men, for example, are vulnerable to other young men
Males can be disabled and completely thrown by being abandoned somewhere unknown

Sorenlorrenson · 07/09/2024 19:50

This reply has been deleted

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Sorenlorrenson · 07/09/2024 19:48

Doone22 · 07/09/2024 19:45

If using a network card for example

Yes, but if the inspector was such a massive jobsworth he would've checked the ops ticket too, nonsense.

Doone22 · 07/09/2024 19:45

Sorenlorrenson · 03/09/2024 10:36

I don't understand, why would an adult buying the tickets make it cheaper?

If using a network card for example

Witchbitch20 · 07/09/2024 19:22

I keep hearing about ticket inspectors being quite aggressive towards young female travellers so good for you!

HowardTJMoon · 07/09/2024 19:06

Niknakcake · 07/09/2024 13:25

I’m a guard on a train and, believe it or not, we aren’t ogres but you would (or maybe you wouldn’t) be surprised by the amount of times these things happen. The amount of people travelling on a wrong ticket, wrong time of day, wrong company, with a railcard they’ve “left at home” , travelling to get somewhere for a family emergency without funds etc. in the beginning you buy all the stories until you e seen the same person travelling to her a dying grandmothers bedside for the 5th time. It’s our job, it’s not a part of the job any of us like but we have to enforce the rules because equally why should one person get a cheaper fare when you’ve paid full price?!

Train ticket pricing and restrictions are insanely complicated and a constantly moving target. I'm not saying it's your fault as a guard. I'm saying that in the face of such insanity it's inevitable that sometimes people are going to get it wrong.

When you've got situations where you can get a ticket from A to B, and another from B to C, and pay less than a ticket from A to C even though you'd be sitting on exactly the same train in both cases (aka "split ticketing") then my sympathies towards the train companies tend to reduce. Similarly when you've got situations where certain tickets are only valid between certain times but finding out what those times actually are is damn-near impossible (I'm looking at you, Thameslink, and your "off-peak" vs "super off-peak" tickets), then I'm also not going to be particularly sympathetic.

BurtTheDurt · 07/09/2024 18:05

Northernladdette · 07/09/2024 07:40

Why are teen fares cheaper if accompanied by an adult?

I don’t know the exact reason, they just are. Look it up on the greater Anglia website if you like? I just buy the tickets and go on about my business

OP posts:
Funkyslippers · 07/09/2024 17:34

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/09/2024 16:45

But surely if the OP was interfering, so was the family member?

Not really. If someone tells me something they should be open to other's opinions

unsync · 07/09/2024 17:27

Irrespective of the rights or wrongs, girls and women should not just be ejected from public transport into a possibly unfamiliar environment. Do men just not pay any attention to the news?

JohnTheRevelator · 07/09/2024 17:12

Sorenlorrenson · 03/09/2024 10:36

I don't understand, why would an adult buying the tickets make it cheaper?

This is what I was wondering too.

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/09/2024 16:45

But surely if the OP was interfering, so was the family member?

Funkyslippers · 07/09/2024 16:32

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/09/2024 13:35

I mentioned this to a family member in passing when we met for lunch. They said I shouldn’t have interfered

Funny how her dislike of people interfering didn’t stretch to keeping her own gob shut…

Not really any reason for her to keep it shut when the op was having a conversation with her

MartinCrieffsLemon · 07/09/2024 15:07

Niknakcake · 07/09/2024 13:25

I’m a guard on a train and, believe it or not, we aren’t ogres but you would (or maybe you wouldn’t) be surprised by the amount of times these things happen. The amount of people travelling on a wrong ticket, wrong time of day, wrong company, with a railcard they’ve “left at home” , travelling to get somewhere for a family emergency without funds etc. in the beginning you buy all the stories until you e seen the same person travelling to her a dying grandmothers bedside for the 5th time. It’s our job, it’s not a part of the job any of us like but we have to enforce the rules because equally why should one person get a cheaper fare when you’ve paid full price?!

I usually always pay for my ticket - going along one particular journey I haven't had to show said ticket 90% of the time. I know people who have stopped bothering on this journey now because it's so rarely checked. I don't begrudge them that. It's about 2 stops. It's nothing

I mentioned an incident where a guard was understanding about the ridiculous rules around tickets - My mum had paid for a ticket, she wasn't trying to cheat anyone

I know a friend who brought 2 tickets 1 for her and 1 for her friend, but somehow ended up buying 2 different days despite paying at the same time. The guard laughed and let it pass. Again, she'd paid for the right journey.

I don't begrudge anyone who has got a ticket but for the wrong company/day/time because some of the clauses are confusing (like off peak times can vary by location!) and because mistakes happen and because they have tickets and have tried to pay.

And ticket prices are ridiculous for journeys, I don't blame people going 2 stops trying to avoid paying. The train would be running anyway with people who've paid for the longer journeys, it's not going to make that much difference and if they get caught then they'll be fined or buy on the train. Simple.

BurtTheDurt · 07/09/2024 14:56

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/09/2024 13:35

I mentioned this to a family member in passing when we met for lunch. They said I shouldn’t have interfered

Funny how her dislike of people interfering didn’t stretch to keeping her own gob shut…

Oh yes! It’s the sort of family member you try to have as little to do with as you can!

OP posts:
BurtTheDurt · 07/09/2024 14:54

Niknakcake · 07/09/2024 13:25

I’m a guard on a train and, believe it or not, we aren’t ogres but you would (or maybe you wouldn’t) be surprised by the amount of times these things happen. The amount of people travelling on a wrong ticket, wrong time of day, wrong company, with a railcard they’ve “left at home” , travelling to get somewhere for a family emergency without funds etc. in the beginning you buy all the stories until you e seen the same person travelling to her a dying grandmothers bedside for the 5th time. It’s our job, it’s not a part of the job any of us like but we have to enforce the rules because equally why should one person get a cheaper fare when you’ve paid full price?!

Honestly? I wouldn’t give the slightest toss if someone had jumped the train when I’d paid full price. Are you saying you’d have done the same to those girls then?

OP posts:
NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/09/2024 13:35

I mentioned this to a family member in passing when we met for lunch. They said I shouldn’t have interfered

Funny how her dislike of people interfering didn’t stretch to keeping her own gob shut…

Niknakcake · 07/09/2024 13:25

I’m a guard on a train and, believe it or not, we aren’t ogres but you would (or maybe you wouldn’t) be surprised by the amount of times these things happen. The amount of people travelling on a wrong ticket, wrong time of day, wrong company, with a railcard they’ve “left at home” , travelling to get somewhere for a family emergency without funds etc. in the beginning you buy all the stories until you e seen the same person travelling to her a dying grandmothers bedside for the 5th time. It’s our job, it’s not a part of the job any of us like but we have to enforce the rules because equally why should one person get a cheaper fare when you’ve paid full price?!

Niknakcake · 07/09/2024 13:16

ClaudiaWankleman · 03/09/2024 15:02

It's the definition of jobsworth to not give leeway on what is a minor issue (and a couple of £ is minor).

except when that same “minor issue” is repeated many times a day it adds up.

SayItWithCrystals · 07/09/2024 13:00

LittleLegsKeepGoing · 03/09/2024 17:31

If you're wrong, I'd be wrong too.

I've heard of far too many occasions where an innocent mistake/oversight has left teens, particularly girls ejected from public transport in places that aren't great...either from a direct safety perspective or from a simple logistics perspective of being able to get home.

I'd rather be complicit in a small fare avoidance issue than read about a teenager who'd been kicked off the train for the sake of a £2 incorrect ticket then been mugged.

Absolutely this. 🙌

clarepetal · 07/09/2024 12:48

Mumistiredzzzz · 03/09/2024 10:26

I think it was really kind of you. Maybe they, and the adult, didn't realise the adult needed to be with them. But whatever the reason you obviously helped them out.

Agreed. I think you were great to do this.

Sethera · 07/09/2024 11:32

Isthisasgoodasitis · 07/09/2024 11:19

What you did was harmless and supportive of the future those girls could become politicians and your act of kindness will be remembered

Confused