2 year old really doesn't want to get dressed

That’s literally child abuse. I hope you don’t have your own children.

Mine have all gone through stages of this with both nappy changes and putting on clothes. I had time for sticker charts with my eldest that worked quite well but with 2 and 3, not a chance. I'd never get anyone out of the door on time and just had to put the clothes on amid the thrashing. I had a sweaty struggle every day but eventually that phase passed when they decided they wanted to put their own clothes on. It's pretty normal behaviour as far as I gather.

I know you've got a busy morning situation, but honestly what helped stop these tantrums with my daughter was waking her up earlier than necessary so she had time to play, sometimes we cuddled and read a book before we needed to get up properly. She just hated waking up and then it immediately being one thing after another that she needed to do but didn't want to. Putting clothes on, brushing teeth, washing face, none of these are fun or interesting for a 2 year old, so they're going to resist because they don't understand why these are necessary and they just want to do something more fun like playing! Giving her some attention and letting her play meant she was much more amenable when it came to the things that needed to be done. I used the time she was playing to get myself ready then came back for her, but always giving a chunk of leeway time because rushing is stressful!
It's hard but sometimes I have to look at it from a different perspective, my husband is happy to wake up and immediately get out of bed. I like to wake up, stretch, sit up, open the curtains, drink some water, check my phone etc, before getting up. So I think my toddler is just more like me, she likes to take her time, so I gave her extra time and it has helped. She can't communicate that yet so she'd just fight my husband when he tried to get her ready immediately after waking her up.

I'd just say, 'OK, you can go to nursery in your PJs.' Or as PP said, get him ready for bed at night in stretchy joggers and a long sleeved tee that can double as day clothes.

The phase will pass. Don't turn it into a battle. DS1 spent about 3 months in felt Santa Claus outfits from the 99p store. I had to buy a stack of them as he refused to wear anything else until mid March. I got told off all the time by passersby and nursery staff for being so cruel to him but I couldn't see why they cared. He was warm and happy.

Just to expand on my earlier post, as this happens predominantly on nursery days, could he be experiencing separation anxiety? If this is so overwhelming that usual strategies aren't effective, he'll likely be experiencing fight or flight. Might be worth you looking at strategies to support toddlers through anxiety, if it's possible that might be the root cause. Also speak to nursery to see if they notice anything during the day that might suggest he's feeling anxious, just in case it's something more specific that's bothering him.

Sounds like you've tried a lot of things. I would try an "are you getting dressed or going to nursery in pyjamas today" approach- and actually take him in pyjamas if he refuses to get dressed (put clothes in bag to get changed at nursery).
Probably doing that a few times would shock him into realising that he's going to nursery dressed or not.
I also like the suggestion of putting him in bed in joggers and t-shirt then he's ready to go in the morning!

Some people shouldn't have children.

Stop the choices. Treasure hunt for clothes????? Wtf. Talk about letting 2 year old rule the roost. Total madness.

My DD is nearly 3 and can be a little like this. Her main thing is she wants to choose her clothes, which are 100% never weather appropriate. However, a couple of things that I don't think others have said as I've had the getting dressed refusal a few times.

If I want her to wear something and she refuses, I usually then say something like "OK then, it's MUMMY's! Mummy's jumper! Mine!" Occasionally I'll pretend to put it on. The fact that I've got it will then make her jealous and she'll nearly always snatch it off me and put it on as she's not quite mastered sharing!

When she refuses to get dressed it's very often because she's tired or more usually hangry. If I take her downstairs and give her milk or something to eat she will very often let me dress her sitting on my lap in front of the TV.

Solidarity, I've just come out of a very long phase of tooth brushing refusal. These things do pass.

Maybe try some visuals to show him. Take some photos of a simple morning routine and have them available and visible in his room to remind him of what's going to happen on nursery days and the sequence of events. Alternatively perhaps a "first and then" visual. "First it's time to get dressed, then its time for breakfast"

Blimey, he's not a dog.

Yep, I'd do (and sometimes do) exactly this. You. just. get. them. dressed. They're 2 so it's not that you physically can't do it.

Like I said, I've been there. Forcing a 2yo turned into forcing a 5/6yo which didn't really address the root cause. Your 2yo might just be testing boundaries, as others have said. Most likely he is. But if you've exhausted the other tactics suggested here, maybe there's something else going on. Hope you find something that works for you.

Remember that two year olds are supposed to test all the boundaries - that’s their job description and that’s absolutely developmentally appropriate.

You can redirect his attempts to assert control with a bit of fun. Hide his trousers in the room and challenge him to find them. Or put his trousers on his head instead of his legs. Play hide and seek with his toes, looking into the trousers and wondering where his toes are (so he’ll push his leg through and you can find them)

At this age you have to choose between the energy of being playful, and the energy of being stressed and cranky.

I had one of these. I don't agree with those saying let him stay in pyjamas on non nursery days as you need to get into the non-negotiable routine. if/then makes it too complicated.

I seem to recall I would do thinks like say 'it's trousers time' or 'nappy time!' because the 'time' to do things is different from me telling them to do it. I would also say 'can you get into your top before DD1 has brushed her teeth? 1,2,3, go!' etc. Or I would hand them something very interesting to look at/ play with and change their bottoms while they were looking at it.

I can see that you feel like making it into a game is too time consuming but ultimately it is pushing through and getting into the routine with both of you arriving at nursery in the best mood possible. That is quicker and better in the end.

As for the discipline and corporal punishment approach, you know what kind of person you are. I'm not someone who could or would ever use these authoritarian approaches but it's silly to pretend it isn't effective for some people. What it does to the relationship long term is another issue (probably not as straightforward as any of us think either).

My daughter is always doing this at home.
I just let her to be honest.
Apparently my sister was exactly the same!

I can’t believe it took so long for this to be said. Not directed at you OP because you obviously recognise this but getting your child dressed before nursery is the bare minimum. It’s not their job to get your child dressed because you cba with the aggravation.

To be honest if you’ve exhausted all the fun strategies I’d just pin him down and do it. I think choices and discussion about things like this sometimes wind very small children up more than if you just got it done, especially when it’s something they very clearly don’t want to do and won’t be persuaded into. And I say that as someone who is very relaxed parent who picks my battles carefully.

I had this exact issue with my daughter at this age too, I feel your pain - it's hard work. She's 4 now and thankfully its gone from a daily tantrum to once in a blue moon.

The only thing that seemed to work for us was turning it into a game. I'd have to pretend I didn't know where each individual piece of clothing went - put her leggings on my head and ask if she liked my hat etc. 😆 It can be exhausting when you're trying to get out of the house on time. Being stern and forceful didn't work for us, but making it fun was pretty much the only solution. Sometimes I still have to resort to the game now. She does love a sticker chart too though.

If all the other suggestions of making it fun, giving choices etc don't work, it's definitely worth considering

I agree. Sounds like OP has tried all the choices, making it fun strategies. But sensory issues or not, he still has to get dressed. Presumably he's ok with putting pjs on, and I assume OP dresses him in similar soft, stretchy, breathable daytime clothes. If not I recommend she does 😊

I wouldn't be worrying about ND at this age though as this is very normal toddler behaviour.

Even if sensory issues play a part, he still needs to tolerate getting dressed for hygiene reasons, to allow mum/dad to work, to keep warm in winter. I went down the route of all organic cotton and merino wool and removing all labels for my son as a toddler, but around 5 he outgrew this sensory issue and is now fine with most fabrics and styles, doesn't notice labels etc.

My 2 year old DD is going through a phase of wrinkles in her socks, wanting the shoes and socks taken off and put on repeatedly, but I think it's more the attention/control. She's fine if I put them on in the car or buggy!

My son is the same, he will takes ages to get dressed. He's moved on a bit from the tantrum screaming now that he is 2.5+, but it was just replaced with running around/hiding half-laughing half-crying. If we try to force him then it will end up in screams.

The best solution for us has been to go against all advices above lol. I get him dressed as soon as he wakes up: trouser / T-shirt, done. I don't give him choices or time to think too much about it. He is usually quite cheery when he just wake up, so with mixed up with some cuddles etc it goes well 99% of the time.

On weekends when we don't have to go anywhere by a certain, it's a bit more relax and then we give him choices etc. Explain we have to get dressed to go here and there.

Somehow waiting for "his turn" helps too, so I would say "little sister first, DS second". But if your DS doesn't have siblings, you could try with "mummy first, DS second" and get dressed before him.

Why does he have to put something on if he is staying at home?

All those saying take him to nursery in pjs, with clothes for staff.
No. It is not nursery’s job to get them dressed. You are the parents, put in place those boundaries and stop expecting other people to do your job.