To have stopped cooking for my kids

Because teenagers just won’t. A 15yo isn’t going to come home from school and cook themselves a shepherd’s pie or a roast or spag bol. I suspect they’re living off whatever’s easiest to grab out of the fridge. It’s a shit example to set, and I know in a couple of the foster homes I grew up in who did this, it made me feel unwanted like I wasn’t worth their time. It’s not hard to stick a bit of pasta on, or a jacket/salad. I work ridiculously long hours, and for inspiration I look on gousto under the 10 minute meal section for quick and easy meals. Surely your children are worth 10 minutes? Even if I wasn’t cooking that day, I’d still make sure everyone had a meal, even if it means allocating the cooking to someone else in the house for certain days

What about some hello fresh type boxes? You and your kids could take turns in making the meals and you can do them in 15-20 mins. I know it's knackering planning and cooking meals but these ready to cook boxes make it so much easier and it's nice to sit down for a meal together & catch up and chat for half an hour or so.

I'm finding a few of these posts quite ridiculous.

1. Teenagers with arms and legs are perfectly capable of cooking if they've been shown how.
2. A teenager cooking for themselves doesn't automatically mean they will eat crap food. They should be capable of making good nutritional choices, and if they're not capable of it, it's a bit weird to attempt to insult those who are.

Op - as I said upthread, my kids generally fend for themselves and there's certainly no expectation of my cooking but I do do the following...

Batch cook loads of portions of things like bolognaise, beef bourgignon, chicken stew etc and there's always piles of them in the freezer which they just defrost and add their veg to.

Cook when I have the energy. Probably works out at a couple of times a week.

I'd swap around chores. I dont think it's fair to make them cook everything they eat, the 15 year old anyway. And I'm gobsmacked someone else doesn't bother for their 13 year old! Eating isn't a luxury, its a must.

I think it's fine to make them cook, but why don't you make a meal plan for the week and have a rota for cooking? That way you only have to cook every 3 days and everyone gets a healthy meal.
They could be doing their own laundry also, it's not hard.

I made the family dinners for everyone from about this age, I was always first back in the house (parent working from home was there too but still working!) so it made sense for me to do it. I'm grateful I learned to cook!

I have a 15 yo and although she’s quite mature for her age, I think it’s still important I cook for her (and her dad does when she’s with him).

It might be a cultural thing but I find the idea of nourishing children with healthy food very important- and the evening meal is the main opportunity to do this. I almost think it’s more so for teenagers as there is often little you can do for them in other areas of life.

Also, I totally get feeling tired in the evenings OP.

I've recently started buying frozen onions, mushrooms and peppers and it's been a game changer.

A spaghetti or penne pasta bolognese takes around half an hour, now I don't have to do all that chopping.

This is really unkind and unfair. The childhood you had seems to compare in no way to the ops parenting.

Why does not cooking for your kids mean they don't eat well?

I don't, and mine do.

I'd swap the chores round then so they have to do the laundry/cleaning or whatever, while you do the cooking.

It sounds as though it would make you feel much better too.

Well you say you do do everything else for them so it really isn't bad. But did they not mention you not making meals for them anymore when you stopped? Or did they just get on with it.

I think at least an evening meal would be good. It is tiring but helps to add nutrition for your kids and they can help. Also what you described for your 15 year old isn't great for meals everyday.They are defo capable of fixing themselves breakfast and lunch though.

It’s such a change from the way we eat and I do think it’s crap and lazy, sorry.
My mum was like you and my sibling and I had to work really hard to overcome the terrible eating/not eating habits we developed as teens.
It doesn’t have to be fancy or take hours but you really should be providing something relatively balanced and nutritious to eat.
I would never have left my teen girls the way my mum did, she didn’t check in to see if we were eating anything, just didn’t care because we weren’t making a mess in the kitchen and weren’t under her feet!

How about, you cook two days a week, and they each make two meals a week and then eat out together once a week.

@JMSA She didn't make me feel like that intentionally at all but that was how it felt to me at the time.

If you were the dad it would be considered absolutely fine.

I don't really either op and mine are 15 and 13.

I've (and school food tech gcse)taught them to cook, and do all the shopping with food they like.

They are both very health conscious and make healthy meals.

I pretty much do everything else in terms of cleaning and laundry round the house, so I find that them doing this particular chore, which they have to do if they want to eat, is a far far easier one than constantly on at them to eg unload dishwasher. Also good skill for them as adults,

I work full time, they are at school full time. They have far more down time than me already, so this seems fair.

I think that her making her own lunch is fine, but I do think that a parent should be making a kids evening meal for them until they are at least 16.
No reason why she can’t help you though.

I think it sets an unhealthy example to them. My mum often ate like that when I was growing up and it made me feel like I was a greedy pig for wanting to have actual food and not just a piece of toast.

I think it's pretty crap tbh, you're their mum, it's part of the job. There's no reason they also can't help put given their age.