To have stopped cooking for my kids

@Skyrainlight
😂 I'm not going to take any notice of criticism from people who believe serving up jacket potato, beans and fishfingers to a teenager is superior to the teenager themselves making themselves a meal of steak, sweet potato, broccoli and roasted tomatoes.

No wonder there are more entitled lazy brats these days. A 15 year old and 18 year old are more than capable of putting together some dinners. I would cook twice a week (one of those nights make extra for leftovers another night), if not to just make yourself feel good. One night take away, one night toast/cereal. That’s 5 nights. And they cook one night each

At 13 your child is cooking because they have to if they want to eat? Wow, that is poor.

DD (20) regularly makes and has done for the last few years:
Chicken + bacon Caesar salad
Penne alla vodka

Creamy ham, mushroom & leek spaghetti
Tortellini + fresh pasta sauce
Spicy fish tacos with cheese, fajita veg and breaded mushrooms
Tofu + vegetable fried rice
Omelettes

I regularly make:
Spaghetti bolognese + garlic bread
Homemade lasagne + side salad
Chicken korma, peas + rice
Fishcakes with veg, mushy peas and buttered new potatoes
Haddock, leek, Parmesan & pea risotto
Bangers, mash, veg + gravy
Chicken noodle soup
Minestrone soup

Most of these are easily meal prepped or can be quickly made with low effort

i only have one DD at home now, she's 22 and i haven't cooked for her in about 3 years. When she turned 18, she wanted to be more independant (she's not moved out yet due to MH issues and is saving for a deposit for a house). She has her own fridge and a cupboard in the kitchen and she does her own food shop, and cooks her own meals.

DH and I are of the older generation and we tend to eat at about 5 or 6, however, she eats at about 8 or 9, so it just wasn't practical either.

We do still have some meals together as a family, but things just work well now

I think with a teenager of 15 it's a little young to just stop cooking completely. Especially without having a conversation about it and perhaps agreeing to a roster or discussing things they can make, or asking what ingredients you need to get in so they can make meals for themselves. Seems like a pretty big ball drop to decide to stop cooking without doing any of this, providing food is a key part of parenting.

Does that count for a mum who was giving pizza god knows how many times a week and if it wasn't takeaway it was oven ones, McDonalds/Chicken and chips and KFC.
But got pulled up on the child's weight which I'm glad for.
And called a yoghurt one of those chocolate pots with the side you pour in. And actually put them in her child's lunch box and was told not to by staff, despite the fact she works at the same school 🤦‍♀️

Sorry but I don't think this is ideal. As a child I did laundry, made my breakfast and pack lunches and helped with the housework from a young age along with helping with meal prep, but I would have felt bereft if my parents didn't cook, ever. It's important for building good food and social habits. They can be on their own for laundry though! Good luck.

Edited to add, I know someone who's parents didn't cook and in adulthood he had some compulsive food habits, like needing to finish food off people's plates.

I think it's great they can fend for themselves but quite sad you don't want to cook a meal for your DC.

You are good then, as I occasionally chop up something to go in the mince, but mine is usually that with a pasta and a sauce for bolognese.

What kind of meals would you suggest? I would be glad to hear some examples though I have a younger child.

I keep coming back to this thread because it's making me laugh.

So, to be clear, the fact that I have taught my teenagers how to cook, and about nutrition, and have a fridge packed full of veg and meat, a full fruit bowl, (very little UPFs in the house), which they are able to cook the food they like best at a time that suits them (they have quite packed sports schedules after school so one eats at 5pm and the other at 8pm which is perfect for their own schedules), and that they're not teenagers with expectations and entitlement; and that they're happy and thriving because they get to eat the precise food they want (one only eats single ingredient food and loves it, the other loves fish) and that I run my own business where demand is at its greatest 4-8pm so that I earn a shit ton of money for us to all enjoy wonderful experiences together and to be able to give them house deposits and am completely supporting 3 people on my one wage, and we will always sit down together and enjoy a lovely meal that anyone of us has cooked should the opportunity arise...

....is really really bad.

Lol. Ok. I'll beg to differ.

I’d rather be one of those dogs than one of the ops children. At least I knew the person who was supposed to love and take care of me was going to feed me at least once a day. It’s been an eye opener that some people think that providing just one single healthy meal a day for your children is spoiling them. My children are living the life of Riley then, not only getting dinner EVERY day, but even some lunches and breakfasts too!

Jacket potato with beans and cheese is a perfectly healthy meal - protein, calcium, carbohydrates and lots of fibre. Absolutely nothing wrong with it and far better than OP’s toast and cereal habit.

My mum never cooked for us (MH issues) and as such I struggle with cooking and have a bad relationship with food.

I also struggle being a single parent and finding the time to do it all.

But you do need to cook for your kids still.

I like the idea of them cooking for themselves a couple of days, you cooking a couple of days and then having frozen pizza or something on the other days.

My DD makes her own breakfast and lunch most of the time but I always make her dinner, unless I’m home late and she’s eaten beforehand.

I will cook a normal meal eg spaghetti bolognaise but do a large portion of it and put half in the fridge.

Then the next day or day after, I just have to put the spaghetti on and warm up the bolognaise - we’re getting a home cooked meal still but I don’t need to cook from scratch.

So I essentially only cook 2 or 3 times a week but it does for 4-6 days.
If I had a bigger freezer I would freeze them and then have it the following week instead so we’re not eating the same food twice a week.
I am planning on buying a freezer and doing this when I can afford it.

I couldn’t imagine not feeding and cooking for my daughter. ☹️

Some of you sound horrible.

Im a carer doing house calls and my day starts at 6.30am and ends around 20.10pm, I don’t have a car and walk over 12 miles per shift. I get a 2 hour break between my lunch and dinner calls. During my break I make dinner for my children every single day without fail, whether thats a good day and they get a full on roast, or a shit day when its a ready made asda pasta bake with a bag of salad. I can’t even imagine my 16yo coming home school and I’ve not cared enough to make her tea that night. I feel so sad at the thought of the moment that little girl realised ‘oh my mum isnt making me any dinner any more’ :/ utterly uncaring. And hypocritical of the people in here saying the children should do better when the adult in the house isnt

That’s not what’s happening though. The children also aren’t cooking. Mums living off toast and when asked for a list of what the children will make themselves she’s listed toast and bagels. Shockingly if mums can’t be arsed at all and is living off bread items, then children do tend to follow their examples. Also the youngest is only a minor and young teenage girls NEED a decent diet at this age, it should be non negotiable. Also I suspect this has been going on for a very long time. The op didn’t spend every day cooking nutritious meals and then suddenly stopped and never did it ever again. As it is now, it’s been so long she can’t even remember the last time she actually cooked for her child, so I’m very much suspecting that there were a LOT of missed meals over a period of time before she stopped completely. Sorry, but if a 15yo girl has a diet this shit then it IS on the parent to correct!

Disgusting not to cook for a 15 year old. Her making egg on toast is not a proper meal. Goodness mine came home from school yesterday and I cooked them a snack when home, a dinner and then a supper not forgetting breakfast (they don’t eat at school.) food is comfort , happiness and shows that you care.

Um we're having jacket potatoes and cheese and beans tonight. With some salad but it's one of my fab meals!

I haven't read the whole thread but why don't you spend a couple of hours on a Sunday batch cooking stuff for the freezer. So lasagna, a ragu sauce that can be added to pasta. Roast a chicken and strip it off and freeze so there is always decent protein available to add a marinade to and add to noodles or whatever. I always have salmon in the freezer. Quick and easy to cook and lovely on a bed of rice with brocolli, soy sauce and some sesame seeds.

Also an air fryer and slow cooker is your friend. There are also tons of prepping recipe videos on all the socials that give quick and healthy ideas. I couldn't imagine not cooking for my kids if I'm honest. I get there are days when you just want something quick and easy and that's fine of course but I would have stuff available as mentioned above that they can heat up themselves.

I like how you’ve picked my example of cheesy beans with jacket potato, and ignored the beginning of that sentence where I literally said ‘it doesn’t even have to be healthy every night’ and gave that as an example. Either way jacket potatoes, beans which are one of your 5 a day and some calcium is more nutritious than toast ffs

When I first read that you don't cook for your children I thought you were going to say they were age 6 and 8. When I read that they were 15 and 18, I thought so what's the problem here? Teenagers should be given a chance to cook so they can learn to look after themselves. They are almost grown up. Good on you for letting them cook. My friend, at age 21, was embarrassed because she no idea how to cook (her Mom always did the cooking).

18 and 23 is old enough to be fending for themselves. I think the 15 year old probably could still benefit from you cooking for them a few times a week if they're not into cooking and healthy eating. The alternative would be to ask one of the older kids if they would cook for the younger one in return for paying less board or something.

I would look for quick and simple meals using pre prepared ingredients if needed. I've been eating a lot of stir fries recently as I have a broken leg. I buy a big bag of ready prepped stir fry veg, sachet of sauce and already cut meat. Fresh pasta with a jar of pesto and cook up some frozen veg to mix in with is another quick option.

My mum did this when we were teenagers and our diet was crap. Pasta & sauce or super noodles every night. No fresh veg. Developed IBS.

Why don't you get hello fresh or similar and they can choose the meals and help cook?