To have stopped cooking for my kids

Cooking is a great life skill and I would hope even 15 year old takes turn cooking 1/2 evenings a week BUT it sounds like op isn't even sure what she is eating for all her meals? It certainly isn't modelling healthy eating and 15 is prime age for eating disorders. What about family meal/interaction? I know kids dont want to sit and have family meals but surely you should at least a couple of times a week???

I think you might feel better if you didn't have to cook every day of the week. You work full time, but maybe not every day is the same? If you spread the chores, then you could do your shopping once a week, and then cook the next day but let's say for 2 evenings? Then your children could take over from you for the other days!

You are not being unreasonable. Due to circumstances my daughter and her best friend moved in recently. That makes, myself, my partner, his mother, my sister and 2 teenage adults. I make sure there are plenty of items in the house for everyone to cook for themselves. And once a week I do a big Sunday dinner for family night. I get my evenings back and it's glorious!

I think you should all take turns cooking so that you each one of you only have to do it x 2 a week and one night could be eating out / a good ready meal / very nutritious snack .
I am tired too and do too much , cook all the meals so I should take the advice I’m giving you 😂

I'm more concerned about you. Your diet is poor. No wonder you are so tired.

Please do try to eat one decent meal a day even if it is only a frozen one.

I agree that for the adult children it's ok but the 15 year old, especially around exam time, does not need cooking as an extra task on her plate if you can help it.

I'd keep cooking for an 18 year old if they were still in full time education as well, to give them the latitude to study and relax.

If you're really not coping then they'll be ok, but it's just better for them if that task isn't on them until they've left school.

I get you. Finishing a 11hr day and getting in near 7pm I often can't be bothered to make a meal for my children who are same ages as yours.

What I have found helpful on and off is doing something like hellofresh where the receipe and food is all provided and then ask the children to take turns to cook it and then I cook my days off or early finishes. Working, planning, shopping and cooking meals constantly is exhausting if you're not a keen cook.

This is somewhat of a drip feed, the question is more about stopping fancy meals? It's unusual that teens won't even eat a simple pasta meal, what's going on there?

I think you still need to cook dinner, definitely for the youngest. It's a shame they miss out and seems unfair when the older ones had it done for them for longer.

When my kids got to that sort of age, we'd cook most of the time, they would each cook a meal once a week or so.

I still cook for mine and they are 24, 23 and 17 ! I probably cook more for the 17 year old and just make enough for everyone. If I didn't cook for him he would make his own food but it would likely be noodles or a toastie.
It's difficult because I'm knackered sometimes after working. I also use the slow cooker a lot and batch cook and use the airfryer for quick meals

No wonder there's an obesity epidemic if people think weekly takeaways and sugary cereal as a dinner are acceptable.

I’ve not seen that thread yet but from what you’ve said it doesn’t surprise me.

There are some very old fashioned mindsets on here that believe young girls should start taking over the cooking (and other household tasks) once they get to a certain age.

Its very sad in this day and age.

There’s a big difference in learning how to cook/ becoming more independent vs having to do it because no one else will/ it’s their duty to.

A parent not cooking is ok apparently but a child not cooking is apparently lazy and entitled.

SOME dinners.

A 15yo shouldn’t have to cook every night because their mum refuses to.

And toast/cereal isn’t a healthy meal and shouldn’t be encouraged to be had as a dinner one night a week - no wonder we have an obesity crisis.

And cooking for your child does not make them a brat FFS 🙄🙄

For me it less who does the cooking, I agree with you 15 and 18 year olds are perfectly capable (ignore all the martyrs on here who'll do everything for their precious angels until they're in their mid-30s), it's the sitting down together after work and school. I think it's a nice habit to get into. Even if it's just eggs on toast, you could divide up the cooking, use recipe boxes, batch cook.

I’m not sure how to answer that as my weekly menu varies massively, and I tend to go through different phases (eg I went through a Caribbean/African phase earlier this year which everyone loved, there were lots of goat curries/jerked meats/caribbean and jollof rice). This week I’m busy and keeping simple, so it’s going to be some sort of risotto, gnocchi and lamb keema meatballs with tumeric rice. One night out for dc’s birthday, then I’ll do a shop for next week. Honestly most of my weekly recipes are really quick, the examples I gave were picked purely because of how simple they are. If it’s got the point where making a simple pasta dish for your kids is too much, then surely at least bung a potato and beans in the micro. ANYTHING is better than nothing at all!

I work three days a week. I have a 21yr old and 17yr old. On the work days they are expected to feed themselves. The fridge, freezer and cupboards are full. The 21yr old lives on takeaways... his choice being an adult. The 17yr old will get a takeaway if he has money or will cook.

What do you know about the particularities of pp's home life? Children can contribute to the wellbeing of the family and, in fact, helping out is very good for their own self-esteem. This will look different from family to family, of course: if you're a SAHM who can do the majority of tasks, if you wfh or work outside of the home, if you are high earner or working class... Age aporopiate tasks (and cooking can be one of them) are not the problem.

There a thread running now where the OP is complaining the dad literally only feeds the children take away food. Most posters seemed to feel the oldest child (a 13 year old girl) taking over cooking duty’s would be the best solution.
This thread certainly makes for an interesting comparison 😂

What kinds of meals do you do that take longer, as you mentioned quick things which I don't think are so bad either.

I think you need to be involved in their meals no matter what. Maybe everyone could do a weekly meal plan together or have a rota for cooking etc. At that age they should be learning to cook but it's one thing a 15 yr old cooking while Mum is doing other chores, another to be rummaging in the cupboard for some food alone.

The 18 yo is fine to fend for themselves, uni students who live in halls have to! Some people also leave home at 18 and have a child of their own so I think it’s ok for the 18 year old to be cooking for themselves every day personally.

Bit rough on the 15 year old. You don’t have to cook for them every night at that age I’d say but I think it would be nice at least 2-3 times a week and you should sit together for the meal if possible…

I wouldn't worry, tbh: if you are, though, you can always ask them how they feel about the situation. I bet at 15 and 18 they'll be honest and tell you exactly if it bothers them 😉
And if you're worried about nutrition per se, you provide the nutritious food (and even recipes or weekly menus) and they cook: if it's done with love and respect, there's no problem!

Yes, damn all these lazy entitled brats. God forbid children expect their mother to produce a home cooked meal on occasion. Who do they think they are? 🙄

That’s all fine and well if your teenager is making nutritious meals like that. In OP’s case, hers is not. A jacket potato + fillings/sides that you describe is far superior nutritionally to toast or cereal.

Good try but toast or cereal isn’t dinner, nor is it a meal.