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To hunt down these bastards who exposed my son to chicken pox

734 replies

littleredbumblebee · 02/09/2024 22:48

User name changed as outing

went on a caravan holiday last week for 5 nights and my son who is 11 played with some kids from other families and had a great time- all good

On the last night one of the smaller boys was running around with no shirt on and he has spots, one of the other families asked and his mum said oh he has chicken pox but we though getting away would do him good.

I told her my son had never had chicken pox and said I bloody hoped my son was not going to come down with them. One of the other parents also said they should not have brought the kid. Basically it ended up with them going inside the caravan in a huff. The next day we all left

So today the day before my son is use to start at high school he woke up covered in spots and now has chicken pox and won’t be in for his first week at high school. Tonight he is now crying saying he won’t name any friends now and he won’t know his way around and no amount of comforting will calm him down. Very few kids for his school are going to this high school and he is so upset he will have missed out on making friends.

We have been in touch with his form tutor who has been great and has said they will support him and catch him up but I could bloody scream. How can some people be so bloody selfish.

OP posts:
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SeashellCandle · 02/09/2024 23:57

Delphiniumandlupins · 02/09/2024 23:43

What is genuinely baffling is people who don't understand that lots of families don't have £150 available. They don't own a car, or if they do a breakdown is a major catastrophe. They don't have a holiday every year.

Then you simply have to not care about catching it which is what a PP mentioned as well. If you are literally on the poverty line, then there are many things you learn not to care about and in the grand scheme of things, chicken pox is really not a big deal. However the odd thing is that OP is raging and fuming about her son catching it which clearly means it WAS important to her. Then why not just scrape together the £150 and get it done with. Especially considering his age, it was almost invariable that he would end up with a more serious case which entails more disruption for the entire family.

Again, this isn't about how many people can objectively afford or not afford the vaccine. It's about how important something is to you, and whether that importance necessitates the drive to spend money on the solution.

As another PP said, the premise being posted here is that OP's son was simply expected to go through his entire adult life unvaccinated but never catch the virus?

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:56

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:52

The two are not alike. The serious side effects are much rarer than the serious CP complications. The CP vaccine saves the lives of children.

In the early 90s when pox parties were a thing and pox vaccine wasn't a staggering 25 people on average died from cp with 80% of those being adults so no its hardly saving thousands of lives is it

Labraradabrador · 02/09/2024 23:55

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:50

It would take you literally 5 minutes to go on the nhs website and see its a live vaccine which can have side effects

Yes, there is a potential for side effects with ANY medical intervention. There is also a real risk of harmful side effects from contracting chicken pox ‘naturally’. My friend’s dc had a stroke as a result of it - evidently the most common cause of paediatric stroke - and was hospitalised for months touch and go as to whether they would survive, and lingering uncertainty around impact longer term.

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:54

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:49

Do you not have Google? It's not the same vaccine at all

It’s only difference is in dose- the two vaccines vaccinate against the exact same virus - herpes zoster. It’s not like shingles is a different disease from chicken pox like measles is different from mumps

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:53

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:52

The two are not alike. The serious side effects are much rarer than the serious CP complications. The CP vaccine saves the lives of children.

Well maybe parents should be respected for their choice regardless of what that is since both carry a risk and in the majority of cases chicken pox is not a big deal

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:52

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:48

More serious side effects are very rare, but can include: pneumonia, infection of the brain and/or spinal cord covering, and seizures - side effects if the vaccine which are very rare. Like the rarity of being seriously ill with chicken pox.

The two are not alike. The serious side effects are much rarer than the serious CP complications. The CP vaccine saves the lives of children.

Irememberitalltoowell14 · 02/09/2024 23:51

StolenChanel · 02/09/2024 23:12

Am I the only one who didn’t know a chickenpox vaccine even existed…?

Nope - me neither!

DD(9) hasn’t had chicken pox (yet)

Labraradabrador · 02/09/2024 23:51

littleredbumblebee · 02/09/2024 23:42

I know I am going to accused of drip feeding here but he did have the first dose of the vaccine when he was 7 and had a reaction to it so was told he could not have the second dose. I didn’t mention it because I thought it was irrelevant, obviously not, I had forgotten how much some on mumsnet like to stick the boot in.

also of course I am not going to hunt them down for goodness sake.

Fair enough and well done for seeking the vaccination, even if it didn’t work for your ds. Unfortunately it isn’t possible to avoid exposure, so ds was going to catch it eventually. As others say, better to catch it as a child than an adult - my father caught it from me and was very ill for a month.

Daltonbear1 · 02/09/2024 23:51

I didn’t even though you could get a chicken pox vaccine wonder why it’s not advertised more?

MyToesAreHotNotInaSexyWay · 02/09/2024 23:51

I think people haven't had their children vaccinated in the UK because they don't know that the vaccination is available. I've never seen it advertised. I don't think it is because it is not free and we feel entitled to have all our health care for free as a pp stated.
It is dangerous for someone who is immunocompromised to be exposed to chicken pox so I would take it seriously and not take my children out when they had it but it is not usually too bad. Flu is more dangerous I think

Lucy25 · 02/09/2024 23:50

Birdingbear · 02/09/2024 23:27

It would be worse if he got chicken pox later in life. Most parents want their kids to get it young so the worst is over. Getting it as an adult is far more serious and the fact your kid is 11 and hasn't had it is a miracle itself. Easy thing to catch.
The boys parents with chicken pox are not selfish. Everyone is selfish if that's the case who leaves the house with a sore throat or a cold or any virus at all.

Disagree, to knowingly have their son running around amongst other children and not let other parents know is selfish, because of this a child is going to miss out on an important part of high school.Getting chicken pox as a child, means it lays dormant in the immune system, the person is then at risk of getting shingles as an adult, which is a long term painful condition.
Chicken pox, is not the same as catching a cold.

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:50

Labraradabrador · 02/09/2024 23:48

You clearly don’t understand how vaccines work! Please stop spreading misinformation!

It would take you literally 5 minutes to go on the nhs website and see its a live vaccine which can have side effects

pinkstripeycat · 02/09/2024 23:50

I didn’t even know there was a vaccine for chicken pox as it’s not currently part of the routine childhood immunisation program in the UK. You don’t die from it. Not like you can from measles.

I don’t think it matters what age you are in order for it to be bad unless you are a fully grown adult.

I had it at 13 and was fine. My 2 yr old DS caught it from 3yr old DS when looking around nursery schools. DS2 had it really bad.

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:49

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:48

Different branding, different names, vaccinates against the same virus.

Do you not have Google? It's not the same vaccine at all

Jifmicroliquid · 02/09/2024 23:49

Beautiful3 · 02/09/2024 23:12

Better he catches it now, than as an adult. Because shingles is far more painful and more likely to be admitted to hospital.

I don’t think you understand shingles. You don’t catch shingles, it develops from dormant chicken pox. So anyone who has had chicken pox can go on to develop shingles, but you can’t catch shingles.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/09/2024 23:49

Delphiniumandlupins · 02/09/2024 23:43

What is genuinely baffling is people who don't understand that lots of families don't have £150 available. They don't own a car, or if they do a breakdown is a major catastrophe. They don't have a holiday every year.

I know! The idea that there was even a sodding holiday in the first place, much less just deciding to stay another day..... its terrifying that someone with so little intelligence can earn enough to assume that these things are just "what you do"!

PlasticineKing · 02/09/2024 23:49

Rocksaltrita · 02/09/2024 22:57

Why didn’t you have him vaccinated? Hardly costs anything and standard in many countries.

It’s £75 per dose. That’s hardly cheap.

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:48

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:44

The vaccine uses an attenuated live virus in a tiny dose so it’s weakened & not the same as encountering it in the wild in potentially a larger dose. It is very safe. Far safer than catching CP.

Shingles is the virus re-emerging when your immune system is low. Catching CP in the wild doesn’t protect you from it. Otherwise shingles would not have existed before the vaccine was invented when it did.

The vaccine has reduced the risk of shingles. The elderly are at higher risk of developing shingles as their immune systems wane, which is why they get a booster vaccine around age 60/65. It protects them against shingles.

More serious side effects are very rare, but can include: pneumonia, infection of the brain and/or spinal cord covering, and seizures - side effects if the vaccine which are very rare. Like the rarity of being seriously ill with chicken pox.

Labraradabrador · 02/09/2024 23:48

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:44

And a live vaccine would have likely had the same effect or maybe a but milder. Shingles is caused by having chicken pox so anyone who has had pox (in the vaccine or otherwise) can get shingles

You clearly don’t understand how vaccines work! Please stop spreading misinformation!

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:48

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:46

The elderly get a shingles vaccine which is not the same as the chicken pox vaccine

Different branding, different names, vaccinates against the same virus.

Psychologymam · 02/09/2024 23:48

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:37

Vaccines aren't always safe and can have side effects, especially since it contains the live vaccine. So catching chicken pox from a kid at school has the same risk and shingles us a reactivated form of chicken pox which would happen vaccinated or not

Edited

This comment makes no sense.

Labraradabrador · 02/09/2024 23:46

NotAgainWilson · 02/09/2024 23:40

Either way, if it is not covered by the NHS, there are good reasons behind that. No need to berate a mum for not using a vaccine that is not even in the list of essential vaccines.

not covered due to cost vs risk at a population level- it is a safe and effective vaccine that is widely available in other countries. Personally I think it is a travesty that children in the uk are not offered it, and I think more parents should be aware that this is an option. If your attitude is ‘nature take its course’ then you can’t really be upset when your kid ultimately contracts it.

itsalwaysthesame · 02/09/2024 23:46

Crap timing but I'm sure he will settle into his new school. It is frustrating for your son.

What is it with all the replies about getting the kid vaccinated! So unnecessary, chicken pox is a common childhood illness, it's extremely rare to be life threatening

TashaTudor · 02/09/2024 23:46

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:44

The vaccine uses an attenuated live virus in a tiny dose so it’s weakened & not the same as encountering it in the wild in potentially a larger dose. It is very safe. Far safer than catching CP.

Shingles is the virus re-emerging when your immune system is low. Catching CP in the wild doesn’t protect you from it. Otherwise shingles would not have existed before the vaccine was invented when it did.

The vaccine has reduced the risk of shingles. The elderly are at higher risk of developing shingles as their immune systems wane, which is why they get a booster vaccine around age 60/65. It protects them against shingles.

The elderly get a shingles vaccine which is not the same as the chicken pox vaccine

ToBeDetermined · 02/09/2024 23:46

Delphiniumandlupins · 02/09/2024 23:43

What is genuinely baffling is people who don't understand that lots of families don't have £150 available. They don't own a car, or if they do a breakdown is a major catastrophe. They don't have a holiday every year.

But OP did. You’re not taking a holiday if you don’t have £150 spare.