To hunt down these bastards who exposed my son to chicken pox

SoupDragon
I mean, yes it is shit and was irresponsible of them but at least he won't get it during his GCSEs now.

No guarantee of that. My DS has had chicken pox three times. I didn’t know it was possible.

I'm so sorry you and your daughter went through that.
Honestly most people know chicken pox is mild and vaccine isn't needed, it's just mumsnet where everyone is rich, everyone has lazy husbands and everyone pays money for things that aren't needed.
Personally I could afford the vaccine but even if I had thousands in the bank I wouldn't get it so don't let any arsehole make you feel bad.

No I am prioritising the MH of a teenager who witnessed her father attempting to murder her mother.

Yes I could have used that money for a vax, didnt need to as she had CP when she was little as she picked it up in nursery, before the assault. However, I am happy to concede that I could have done.

But my point is that you have no knowledge as to why people prioritise as they do, or to say "Well you DO have the money....." when, for their own reasons, they have decided that they dont. The OP asked whether she was BU for being pissed off that this family knowingly allowed their poxy kid to play with other kids, and I would say that no she isnt. There was a thread on here some years ago now, where a kid developed CP on holiday the day they were due to go and the mother asked if they could go on the flight and try to get away with it. The majority response was to go for it.

You are in a very privileged position, why not simply own that instead of trying to justify your choices and concede that others may not have the same options as you do?

What a shame he didn’t catch them as a younger child.

Your poor ds op , hopefully he feels OK with it,,dd had it around age 5 or 6 it went through her class. When I had just brought her home from the hospital (premie baby spent 9 weeks in nicu) a friend came to visit with her child who was off school because she had the chicken pox!! Some people don't give others a 2nd thought.

Did you read the bit about the “caravan holiday”? Hardly 14 nights in the Taj Mahal! 🙄Lots of parents I know work and budget strictly year round to be able to have a few days holiday with their family or put the expense of a holiday on a credit card.

It reduces the risk of shingles in those who got the vaccine, but increased vaccination in others increases the risk of shingles in those who have had chicken pox before because repeated exposure to chicken pox acts as a booster for those who have already had it, and who are too young to get the shingles vaccination.

During the week of starting high school isn't the best, to be fair to the op.

The issue is the bad timing, although he could have got covid or something else. It's better to get CP when you are younger than later on in life though.

@PyongyangKipperbang
”I save up all year to give my daughter a week in N.Wales. She has suffered immense trauma in her short life and I sacrifice a lot to save for it. No, I do not have £150 to spare.”

You can afford £150 to vaccinate her 1x while skipping 2 out of 7 days in Wales one year only and then go to Wales for a whole week every other year.

You simply are prioritising a full weeks holiday every year.

It’s your choice to do so, but you can’t argue poverty to the point you don’t have £150 to spare at any time the first ten years of your child’s life. If you’d put aside £15 a year, your DC would be vaccinated before reaching the age of OP’s 11yr old.

Entitlement, no.It’s just courtesy to let others know, that your child has chicken pox.
Personally if my child had chicken pox, l would be concerned for women who could be pregnant, the elderly.This vaccination is only available in the UK if you pay privately(not everyone is aware of this) so it’s not standard.
I don’t get all this berating, OP hasn’t done anything wrong.

Probably because adults who have had shingles say it's the most hellish experience they've ever been through, and you can get it repeatedly. If you can spare your children future suffering for the price of £150 with no downsides, it seems like a no-brainer. Children don't need to get chicken pox for any reason.

It is not very expensive in the grand scheme of having children, £75 per dose in Boots last year, 2 doses recommended.

Much cheaper than DH or me missing days from work whilst paying for childcare.

@MyToesAreHotNotInaSexyWay (very evocative username btw) Plenty of things aren’t routinely done in the UK, it doesn’t mean they aren’t a good idea (penny pinching NHS!)

OP hope your boy is better soon, it is rotten timing but sounds like the form tutor will look out for him.

My DD had pox 3 times before she was 8, the vaccine might not work the same as natural immunity sometimes doesn't.

Agree with those who said that you should have had your son vaccinated if you were so concerned.

Haven't read the full thread, but being exposed to chicken pox is actually good for people who have already had it and helps to prevent shingles, it acts as a booster.

So it isn't inherently bad for people with chicken pox to be exposing it to others. It has benefits too (but for a different group).

25 out of a teeny tiny 58 million at the time but a vaccine is definitely needed and isn't a money making ploy at all as it saves lives. I'll stick with the pox parties thanks

Where are all of these posters living that a jab is standard for CP?? Or you can request and pay for one? This is a non problem OP.

I save up all year to give my daughter a week in N.Wales. She has suffered immense trauma in her short life and I sacrifice a lot to save for it. No, I do not have £150 to spare. Its her favourite week of the year, Xmas? Whatever. Birthday? Not bothered. Llandudno.......thats the dream.

A caravan holiday in the UK is vastly different to a fortnights sunseeking in Europe cost wise.

And as several others have said, vaccinations are not without their side effects. Eldest DD had to have her vaccinations, as an adult, under clinical conditions. She reacted very very badly to her first set as a baby, she was admitted to hospital, so had no more. Her job in medicine means that she must have them, so they were done with full supervision in case of a reaction. As it was, there was no reaction, but she was by no means the first person that team had to do that for. "Just get the vaccination" is one of those "Just" sentences that is said by people who simply have no understanding of the potential consequences or difficulties that the person they are talking to may have.

Not standard practise in the UK at all, to the point I’m genuinely shocked that a kid has got it 11 having never had it!

They’ve done you a favour OP.. the older you get the more worrisome it is.

It sounds like your son may have caught it elsewhere as it's usually at least 2 weeks after exposure for the first spots to appear.

I can understand the disappointment though. My DS's chickenpox appeared on the Monday of the week he was due to start reception. He was all scabbed over and able to start the following Monday so only missed 3 days. We were so sad he didn't start with the others but it actually turned out for the best, as the teachers made a lot of effort to settle him in and he got one-on-one tours of the school.

You can die from chicken pox. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20240229-why-dont-some-countries-vaccinate-against-chickenpox

Many people do not know there’s a vaccine, and others just can’t afford it. I had my youngest vaccinated after my eldest was hospitalised with chicken pox at two. I was also hospitalised when I had it as a toddler. I didn’t know the vaccine existed until a friend told me when I was telling her how worried I was. My eldest is still scarred. I was lucky to have the money to do it.

OP, YANBU for feeling angry that this family knowingly brought a child with chicken pox on holiday. Exposure to him could have had very serious consequences for some people, even including young children. It was very selfish of them.

I had no idea there was a vaccine tbh and I was one of the unlucky ones who got it at 22.

So sorry OP that he's caught it and missing his first week, hopefully he will feel better soon!

Maybe not in teeny tiny Great Britain. Globally, yes.

I respect her choice to not vaccinate, what I do not respect is the tone of entitlement in how she expects her unvaccinated DC to be free to roam around playing with other kids and still be shielded from catching a very common, very contagious childhood virus.

Its not other people’s problem that her child is unvaccinated.