Row over which Supermarket?

@AcrossthePond55
thats fantastic advice and one of the most succinct and accurate ways I’ve seen a domestic “aura “ or vibe described..
OP I urge you to read this over a few times and have a deep think .
take care of yourself.

Who ever does the shop chooses the shop

Who ever does the shop chooses the shop

What domestic chores does he do?
Swap with him for a month, see if he can come up with a more cost effective, time efficient way of shopping.

Pathetic to not appreciate you do the shopnand everything you need is sourced from one shopping area.
When was the last time he did a shop?
Perhaps he needs to go take his turn and wise up.
Why is this a issue over conveince i would ask.

I've rarely said this but LTB. Because of the potatoes.

It's probably got nothing to do with the amount of petrol you use or where you shop but more to do that he's salty about having to share a car rather than having one to himself and it hurts his fragile ego.

It is a fucking travesty that you are living like this. It's as though you have a warden, not a husband. I think you're beginning to take the blinders off, but I still think you don't really have an appreciation for just how bad it is and how abusive your husband is. It's a constant drip, drip, drip of controlling behaviour that is making you a shell of yourself. I bet if you think back to how you felt about yourself years ago compared to now, there's will be a massive decline.

You are only 40 years old, you still have decades ahead of you. Get the fuck rid of him.

Oh Yes, the half truths, or not lying by omission. The hush as the car drew in to the drive...

Oh yes, 'walking on eggshells' and 'picking your moments'. I remember it as being sort of like an animal 'sniffing the air' as they slowly walk out into the open to be sure it's safe. It got to the point where I could pretty much sense when to speak and when to be silent and 'wait for another day'. Funny/not funny

We all change our ways somewhat to adapt to living with a partner, that's normal. But there's a difference when you do it simply as a gesture of love to someone who does the same for you and when you do it because you don't want to deal with 'a reaction'.

It's up to you though. You know how he is and what it takes to keep him happy. You may decide it's worth it to 'play the game'. But at least you know the rules, right? The right decision is the decision that's right for you. I was financially independent, we had no children, and we didn't own a home together. It was easy enough for me to say 'get to fuck' and start over. You may have more to think about than I did.

Fuck me, this is why I'm single because I would have asked him if he was thick by now as I was at work therefore virtually already there

Last week I decided I wanted to go to the huge Tesco which is a 30 min drive just for a mooch. My dad rang and said "why you there?!"
Me "I've just driven to give the car a run and to have a change"
Dad "ah yeah cool, get anything good?"

That's the only conversation I would have with anyone about it. I just leave the house and go where I want with

He asked why my child had more roast potatoes than him.
So when I put the plates down, he obviously counted the potatoes.

He is so tight that he is resentful of your child eating a his expense.
He is jealous of your child taking up any of your time/money/attention.

This won't get better.
Even when your child leaves home, the resentment and jealousy will remain, at every family occasion, every gift, every meal out together as a family.

Ditch him. LTB.

So fucking glad I am single! If I had to put up with this "I earn more than you ner ner ner" he would be in the basement rotting away. Mumsnet so full of pompous pricks who earn more and rub their partners nose in the fact. Controlling arsewipe!

@JessiePink

how long have you been with this bellend?

more importantly, WHY are you staying with him??

He's not nice, don't you think you & your child would be happier on your own?

I'd do exactly as other posters have suggested. Only shop at the smaller branch and what they don't have, you'll have to go without. It'll cost more petrol in top-up shops, which you'll refuse to do so he'll have to, wasting his time rather than yours.

Do you mean he monitors the petrol? That's absolutely batshit.

My attitude to this would be to give short answers that make it clear that the decision is mine and won't change, eg "That's what works best for me." "I prefer my way." Change the subject. I wouldn't be drawn into an argument about it at all. It sounds mind numbing.

This is why I prefer Ocado.

I have the midweek smart pass which is £39.99 per annum so I have unlimited free deliveries Tuesday through Thursday from wee hours to midnight.

I was spending more than that on petrol and Ocado has a price promise of your shopping ends up higher than Tesco’s you get a voucher off with difference.

Plus your household can use the app to put things in the trolley and your DH can see what everything costs. I bet he has no idea what the cost of living crisis has done to food costs!

What a vile, controlling, nasty, selfish little man he is. I don't know how you bear to feel him breathe near you - my fanny would be permanently shut for business if I had to deal with this prick every day.

Life is too fucking short for this nonsense OP. Can you get a plan together to leave? Surely, this is not what you want for the rest of your life? 💐

There is nothing better than a retail park with all them shops on, what’s his problem he sounds like a right fun sponge 😂 is it whitebirk

This might be a stupid question...and he does sound like a controlling price....but, how does he know which Aldi you went to? Doesn't the payment just say Aldi Ltd on your bank statement? Or is he so fucking controlling he asks for the receipts as well?