To ask if you got your child back into school after EBSA?

Child 1 - diagnosed autistic and OCD. Stopped being able to attend in year 4 and missed much of years 4 and 5. What got him back to year 6 was an EHCP, dedicated 1:1 who really 'got' him, uniform accommodations, gradual return entirely at his own pace. Never quite made it full time but enjoyed finishing primary with his friends (it was his choice to stay at his mainstream for year 6). Now at independent specialist secondary and goes in happily/has excellent attendance

Child 2 - diagnosed anxiety, probably also autistic. Stopped being able to attend mainstream secondary in May of year 7 and missed the rest of the year. Went back in year 8 on a very reduced timetable in the SEN hub. Over the year slowly increased time in school although still not in the classroom. Will go into year 9 in Sept on the same basis but hoping to start going to parts of some lessons - at his own pace and entirely dictated by him. He's desperate to stay at this school and get back to class so we're trying to enable him to achieve that. EHCP refusal to issue so am appealing but tribunal not until Sept 25. Fortunately school are massively supportive even without EHCP or formal diagnosis in place

So I think what worked for both mine has been giving them control of how much and how long they are in school and making sure the environment is manageable has been key.

Not sure if this is helpful, but my autistic daughter developed EBSA after the Covid lockdown. She would completely shut down at school, not move or interact, so we were called a number of times to come and get her. She was in year 11 at her Grammar school. I had many conversations with school saying I wanted her in and learning, but that they also needed to make accommodations. They listened to me and her and set up a desk in a separate part of the library area so she could sit and work, attending class if she felt able. She had a number of members of staff who 'got' her (they were neurodivergent themselves) and she opened up to them too. It helped that her behaviour otherwise was impeccable so she did not need supervision on that aspect so there was no extra funding needed from the school's POV. We paid for a private therapist. She was also prescribed medication from GP to help with the anxiety.

She still had days where she was overwhelmed and couldn't go in, but she did make it. through, stayed for 6th form and is now doing well at Uni.

The schools need to focus on relationships and a sense of belonging and flexibility and get their educational psychologist to help

My DD developed EBSA when she started secondary school. She already had a diagnoses of ASD and dyspraxia and an EHCP. The school were crap and thought it was appropriate to give an autistic 11 year old with EBSA detention for being forgetful or disorganised. They were not kind or understanding at all, and sometimes they were outright cruel. Obviously that didn't help how she felt about school.

She didn't go to school at all for 6 months, and then got a place in an independent specialist school. She coped there a million times better, and her attendance was good until she left at the end of year 11. She now goes to a mainstream college with no problems.

I agree with the OP in that I don't think home education / socially isolation etc is ideal (although I understand how some families end up there). We were certain we didn't want this for our DD. But not all school environments are suitable, and some can be damaging or even traumatic.

Ideally I think children with EBSA should be offered alternative placements in a school more appropriate for their needs, like my DD was. But obviously there isn't the provision out there at the moment for this to happen.

no parent in my area has any non-home provision that involves their child being supervised.

Just because there’s no one in your area that has it doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. "No-one else has that" is one of the lines LAs throw about with the aim of putting parents off. Many have to appeal and seek independent assessments, then enforce the provision.

Parents cannot be forced to take DC to the gym, riding, swimming lessons. Those parents should appeal, then enforce the provision.

I'm not sure why you're unwilling to believe there are some areas where there is no provision.

Can you quote where I have said this? Because if you read my first post, I said there were APs in your LA. Not in your specific area. I also acknowledged it depends on DC and what you are looking for. Unfortunately, many DC travel a great distance to APs. Just like they do to schools. I didn’t mention your ‘area’ in my second post either.

And again, no staff to be PAs also means no staff to be supervisors for in home tuition. Again, I'm not sure why you don't believe there are some areas with no available staff.

No social care PAs really doesn’t mean no staff to provide EOTAS provision. They are not the same role and while some people could provide either, many couldn’t. The rate of pay is also significantly different. LAs have to ensure the provision is actually provided. It is non-delegable and excuses such as they can’t find a tutor/teacher/TA/HLTA/LSA/mentor… don't relieve them of their duty and won’t wash in court. The fact you think this highlights your misunderstanding of EOTAS and the LA’s legal duties that can be enforced.

@drspouse I agree with most of what you are saying but I dont think neurotypical people should assume they know what stresses are tolerable for autistic people and which are not. Im not saying you personally think that but its an attitude I come across a lot eg “he needs to learn theres nothing scary about assembly”. Not for you maybe, but Actually for him assembly is very bad and scary.

Yes - but on his own schedule rather than the ones the school wanted us. His EBSA started in year 2 after stomach problems - so the physical health thing came first but mental health issues soon followed. Year 2 was basically a write off with school trying to force us to take him in ('he will be fine once he gets there') and now-ex-DH carrying him into school and him getting pinned down on the floor by reception staff. Hideous and against all my instincts.

By the end of year 2 I took him out a week early and took control thinking I would take him out fully if I had to. Anything except seeing him that stressed. He started year 3 but it was touch and go for his attendance and then half way through lockdown happened.

We moved towns for year 4 and that went well but by the end of year 5 he was having debilitating stomach and headaches and began taking a lot of time off. By the beginning of year six this was full blown anxiety and he just couldn't attend. He didnt attend at all from September of year six to around January and then one day out of the blue said he wanted to in for PE!! From then on I managed to increase this gradually from one session a day to one hour to two hours and eventually, by the beginning of the summer term he was back in full time. The school were... variable I would say. There was the usual pressure from the attendance officer but I ignored that. When you've had a child with such severe mental health issues (at one point DS was saying he didnt want to be alive anymore) you eventually dont give a shit what people like that say and just want to do what is best for your child. Of course we don't always KNOW what is best for our children but thankfully letting DS go back in on his own terms helped.

That was over a year ago now and he's successfully managed to attend 78% of year 7 in his new school and is now going into year 8. I am very nervous about the new term as he is still often physically not well but thankfully it has been a massive improvement. I am always worried however, that the EBSA will return.

It isn’t about where I live. I support/have supported parents across the country including in your LA.

No, I’m not taking PRUs. Settings that aren’t a school can’t have DC all day, every day. That would make them an unregistered school and that would be illegal. This is part of why I say you are drawing conclusions about EOTAS without the correct facts.

The majority of EOTAS packages are with multiple providers. Many have more than one provider a day. Some have several providers a day. But that doesn’t mean EOTAS can’t happen, and it doesn’t have to be unsuccessful.

Lots of people don’t use agencies. But £75/hr from a tutor company is within the normal range depending on what people need. The costs are far higher than social care PAs. The LA must provide enough funding so the provision can actually be provided. Another reason why a watertight EHCP is essential - but that is the same even in a school.

Those who have packages which rely on parents could appeal when they next have the right of appeal. Legally, parents cannot be compelled to deliver, facilitate or organise provision.

To answer your question more directly, the things that have helped my DS attend school:

Calm environment, well behaved kids and no shouty teachers
Supportive rather than super strict/punitive
More Relaxed uniform
Predictability and routine
No pressure to do unusual activities and option to sit out of stuff he finds stressful.

Home education for our son (asd, pda) while fighting for EOTAS
Most he ever did was 2 hours and shortest was 10 mins before they sent him home. After 3 years we decided that it wasn't worth the trauma.

It's worked out for best in our circumstances for now as it was becoming unsafe and unrealistic.

I disagree with you regarding exposure and that not going to school makes you more anxious, but i’ll say straight away that all children are different so i completely accept that your approach may have worked for your child.

If you say autistic children can “get used” to mainstream school you are basically saying that autism can be “cured” and that it is not a life long condition.

My DS is autistic and his issues with school are a mix of sensory issues and trauma. He hates crowds, noisy environments.

Humans can endure extremely stressful situations for a short time - think of people in wars for example - but this causes long term mental health problems. Thats why it is wrong to pressurise autistic children to tolerate environments they find stressful.

My DS is now doing really well at a mainstream school, but I was lucky to get him into one that is very flexible and autism aware. Many schools are not like that.

no provision for supervising a child who is being tutored at home,

Parents often have to appeal to get a good EOTAS package, but a good EOTAS package would include supervision.

My parent friends who are trying to source EOTAS find there are no in-person tutors, no activities to attend

I know which LA you are in from previous posts and there are APs in your LA (and neighbouring LAs which some travel to) and tutors. Although obviously it will depend on individual needs and what activities one is looking for.

and online tuition is massively expensive and in huge demand, plus often the LEA will be reluctant or refuse to fund.

LAs refuse to fund a lot of things. That is why parents need to appeal. If the EHCP is watertight, it can be enforced. Online tuition often isn’t more expensive than in F2F tuition.

I am aware your feelings towards EOTAS are negative, but you are basing those feelings on things that aren’t actually true.

Interesting. My DD also suffers from a recurrent physical health issue which hasn't helped her attendance. Your poor DD sounds like she's been through a lot.

@Redlettuce totally doesn't have to mean that but I think you probably need a parent pretty available, plus resource, to make that happen? Unless it's a brilliant EOTAS package. There are some amazing homeschool groups in our area.

I know we couldn't facilitate that kind of homeschooling because we couldn't keep financially afloat (expensive SE) and it would also have adverse impacts on our NT DC. At best it would be some oversight of formal learning.

I'm going to disagree that home education is necessarily socially isolating. My eldest was home-educated until 16 due to there being no school setting suitable to neet his needs - either mainstream or school for learning difficulties. He attended multiple activities each week and has slotted into a local sixth form college on a vocational course. He has a big group of friends and copes well with some low level bullying. Teachers always comment on his confidence despite his social challenges. I'm a firm believer that it's because we protected him from the bullying that's so common for unusual kids in mainstream schools.

Year 11 DD hasn't been since July 2023. I doubt she'll go back this week to do her GCSE year. I'm out of ideas and the support is pitiful.

To follow up -

I was also firmly of the if you avoid it you'll be anxious school.

Then she started self harming and tried to kill herself, shortly after that she was diagnosed with a serious auto-immune disease that requires lifelong drug treatment and for the first year she had to be monitored by a specialist with bloods every three weeks.

School had set up a room she could go to when she was tired or anxious but she pretty much spent all day sleeping in there. Often they couldn't wake her up and they were getting quite worried about her. That turned out to be the autoimmune disease.

They didn't really want her in as honestly she was a walking medical emergency by that point and they didn't want the responsibility.

She's AuDHD.

BTW there can be an overlap between EBSA and children with illnesses/chronic conditions - schools don't always handle these well.

I didn't get her back into sixth form.

Did get her back into college after a year out.

My son now attends school. However it isn't a mainstream school. All the children have asd and/or adhd. It a very different set up but what's helped is:

They work with demand maps so some of the day is low demand and some high demand and pupils can see and even influence when the high demand takes place.

The curriculumn is more closely matched to his ability and how he learns through doing (he is not capable of gcses and mainstream seems mainly preparing you for those)

Social interactions are supported by onsite SaLT and the way staff model communication is leagues above his previous 4 schools. There isnt free time like breaks without staff support.

He has sertraline

He had extensive OT

I actually agree avoiding things can increase anxiety and let minor issues build up, but my caveat on that is that sometimes someone is anxious about a legitimate concern and the tricky but is working that out.

Yes, fell out of mainstream secondary, home tutors whilst waiting for SENDIST, 100% attendance at independent specialist, stayed until 19 and now has EOTAS.