No show at party

Well thats an outright snub if you ever there was one.

You say she's having a tough time and you want to call her out on this? She probably has had daggers from her own child already.
Though I've never missed a party, I have had people who completely forgot, and I did once get tickets for us to see my DD's best friend in a show she was in (they were about ten and this was her year end production of her theatre/dance troupe). I even talked to my DD about it the day before about when we needed to leave. Then the day came and it went completely out of my head til I saw a post from her mother on FB about how proud she was. OMG I was so embarrassed and my DD was so upset.
So cut this woman a break. She may well have decided that morning she couldn't be bothered - there are people who don't care about disappointing their kids or upsetting others - but she may well have another reason that she can't share with you.
It would be kinder to say 'we missed Mary at the party yesterday and hope all is well'. Then leave it.

I remember actually forgetting about a party invitation once, and the mother was annoyed and confronted me, saying they had waited on me and got a knock on delay at the venue. I had not sent an RSVP and I just said I did not receive an invitation sorry (paper one in book bag). I said it on the spot but it was a lie. She was hostile after that, but ultimately I just forgot and there was no excuse.

Ok. But still apology or no apology, a better offer came up and she ditched the party idea and went ahead with that instead, and without telling you. So probably a bit of a sorry not sorry type of thing.

Anyway, I wouldn’t confront her or anything now. At least you know though now why she didn’t bother coming.

It happens. Don't embarrass her. Many many years ago I took my toddler DS to a birthday party in a hall with a bouncy castle. He was the only child who turned up. That was awful.

Wow! Yep she’s rude alright. I thought she was going to say something like oh something came up and apologise to you, but she’s been really matter of fact with her reason hasn’t she? “The weather was nice so we went out for the day”…

What did you say in response?

If OP actually gave a shit about this woman's wellbeing she would have got in touch far quicker and without feeling the need to ask the advice of a bunch of strangers on the internet.

So, given that all OP wants is to go apology fishing I would say: absolutely not. Don't be that twat.

I'd find that extremely odd personally. It's over and done with, they aren't friends, OP knows she's got lots on her plate. Besides, I don't get the impression that OP is concerned, or wants to lend a listening ear - she just wants a grovelling apology.

Sometimes things crop up and who knows what the reason is for not showing. Yes a quick text would have been great but in reality did one missing child really make a huge difference to the day ? besides the party starting a little bit late. Most would have just started, TBF it was a bouncy castle in your garden so you weren't really restricted with timings.

I wouldn't punish the child by never inviting again, I certainly wouldn't shame the mother in public. Sometimes kids show, sometimes they don't, it's all part of throwing parties.

Give the mother the benefit of the doubt, if she was reading and the times will be beside the messages she read , there's a pretty good reason why she didn't reply considering she had been replying previously.

Especially assuming said party was out of term time and not relying on pre paid numbers for soft play, or the like.

I actually cannot believe people are saying don't invite her again because she has a rude mum (who is going through a tough time).

Blimey.

Of course you can, it's not been a month! "Hi Jane, was hoping to bump into you at school today but we didn't seem to cross paths. Just wanted to check if all is ok...".

Some of the responses on this thread are quite extreme but I do agree with the point @housethatbuiltme made "There so much 'talk to me if you are struggling' and 'you are not alone' about depression and mental health but its only ever touted meaninglessly."

Sometimes people who are struggling behave in ways that are odd/selfish/rude/uncomfortable (e.g. posting vague attention seeking social media posts). It would take OP no time at all to gently check in, instead of assuming the worst - deciding she's unspeakably rude and not worth the time.

Oh come on you cannot start quizzing people on birthday party attendance a week after the fact. That's crazy behaviour. A quick "sorry we missed you, hope all OK, see you at school next week" day of is about all that should be said.
Move and don't rely on her attendance next year.

Yes, I was mortified!

I think all you can do is not invite her daughter to any further parties, which is sad for the daughter, but a consequence of her having a rude mother.

Whether you send a message or not, I can't imagine that she's the type of person who would take note and learn manners. If you're the type of person who doesn't (a) apologise in advance if you can't make a party and (b) fail to apologise after missing a party, it seems highly unlikely you're the type of person who would then take note of a follow-up message from the host.

Correct.

Get over yourself. She's going through a difficult time. Sometimes it is too much to be thinking of @Iwishicouldflyhigh daughters birthday.

Fucking hell, I was being made homeless and still had crackpots like you telling me I was rude. I just laughed. I really should have given them rude though.

2 ticks does not equal read anymore.

Just to add while I agree that the mum who didn't turn up was unreasonable and rude and not right, people who don't reply or apologise in situations like this don't care do they

So that was why I said there's no point sending a message now

I think the likelihood is that the mum would message back just making some excuse up that wasn't true.

Someone was a no-show at my son's party earlier this year. My son was upset at the time but got over it pretty quickly.

The mum profusely apologised, they'd simply forgotten, and then dropped round a card with £20 in it.

That's what you do in this situation (minus the £20 - that was far too much!). Not ignore the party parent.

The mum is being very rude.